In a relationship how much does 'baggage' matter?

Question

Does a mans baggage matter more than a womans baggage in a relationship? (especially in black relationships) ex. debt, kids, job situation?

Answer 1

Depends on if you are talking suitcases or just carry ons. I know one thing that I cant stand is when I am dating someone and all they do is talk about the ex. Very Very annoying. I know sometimes its hard not to do that but you have to try. I am in a interracial marriage and we have problems that most marriages wouldnt face. I also have a child from my first marriage who is half mexican. So here's the family....Dad=black, Mom=me white, My kid=white/mexican, 2 step kids=black, This situation following is his baggage. We have been married for 8 years and I have yet to meet my mother in law face to face because my husband says she doesnt like whites.She calls him a sell out. So yes baggage does matter because like with my MIL she has whatever baggage about whites and it in turn is affecting my marriage. In my house though, color doesnt exist and we see the light at the end of the tunnel as daylight and not an oncoming train. Try to put all baggage under the plane and just enjoy the ride!!!! Life is too short for this. Believe me on this one= I found out yesterday I am terminal and my husband wants a divorce. Not a second goes by that I dont keep wishing I wouldnt have brought so many carry ons if you know what I mean. I havent told him and dont plan to. He needs to just get the divorce and go forward like he thinks I will do but he will at least be free.

Answer 2

It depends on the type of baggage. But either way it matters a lot cuz what u bring in could add on to what is developed between u and ur partner. The type matters because touchy things like kids before the relationship can cause riff if the parent spends more time with them and not their partner or puts them before their partner a lot. but its hard not to do becuase these r in fact ur kids. So baggage can be a double edge sword. take care of it as much as possible before u get into the new relationship

Answer 3

well that depends what the baggage is...if its kids...ya thats alot but some people are ready for that. if its debt that is something big but something u can work thru and u need support. and job situation...well depends where u are in life if your gonna use the other person to pay for things...thats bad but if your just in between jobs i dont see why its much of a problem

Answer 4

means a lot. kids are a no no no, especially at young ages. job, not as much, but debt to because you don't want to put yourself in a situation that may allow yourself to be taken advantage of, whether the other person means to or not.

Answer 5

Well, I decided at one point that I wouldn't date anyone's "babydaddy" or "ex-husband" etc. because something obviously went wrong in those relationships, especially the divorced dude. Marriage vows state "till death do us part." If he's divorced, they parted before death. Doesn't that mean that he didn't take the vows seriously the first time? Why should I believe he's going to take them seriously with me?