This man I started to see tends to keep his distance for a few days after we intimate. Any likely ideas why?

Question

He never married but he is living with a co-parent to his teenage daughter and his teenage daugher. He also has an adult daughter/ confidant from his past earlier relationship. He enjoys our intimacy at that point in time. He claims he never became intimate with anyone for 2 months before he met me. During his downtime he hardly calls and in one or two times I did he sounded to be in a terrible mood but still insisted that nothing had changed between us but he is only experiencing some family problems which he does not want to share. I am very attracted to this man and I was hoping to keep him for life, you know what I mean. But this behavior of his is running my patience down and my emotions high.Please help advise how I can go about this.

Did I mention that this man is more than 10 years older than me.(11years to be exact)

Answer 1

This is a difficult situation and I can just imagine your anguish.

First of all, expect the best but prepare for the worse case scenario.

From the hints you've given us about this man, it seems he has had it rough. Probably, at fault for having deceased, divorced or careless parents. I might be mistaken, but his behavior either way, is not normal. Something is defenitely going on.

Consider also, the fact that many men tend to suffer from depression. From the way he is acting I feel tempted to deduct that he has a bout of manic or bipolar depression. You know, one day he is Mr. Perfect an the next day you wonder if its the same man you met the day before.

So while you figure this puzzle out, try to not depend on him too much, and try to find something else where you can rest your emotions. Having them take a ride with him on tha agressive roller coaster isn't healthy and might ruin your happiness if things do not work out in the end.

Lastly, you might want to consider the following ideas:

-As him out on a date, perhaps coffee, and tell him how you fee.
-Drop a note during lunch time, telling him you know he's had it rough and would like to take him somewhere special where ha can relax and just forget about everything for a day or two.
-Buy him flowers (If he is this type) most men like it.
-Give him a pucker up on the cheek next time you see him and tell him you hope all goes well.
-Offer your shoulder to him when no one else is looking and invite him, or rather, make him cry. Men have a hard time doing this but if you help him confide in you and reassure him its ok to get teary, next time youll be grabbing for is the klenex box.

If despite your eager attempts to get a hold of this seemingly bipolar prince charming fails. Give it some rest and keep your options open. Perhaps then you might give him the chance to loose you and then see how muvh you truly are worth it, and at the same time, you give yourself a breather and an opportunity to meet a few others.

Best wishes, and you too, cry a little now and then.

Answer 2

All these women on here, men haters i love it.

So YOU are dating someone that is living with a partner, and you are happy to have sex with him knowing this. You women are hypocrits, giving it all the, he's cheating, time to move on. You knew what you were getting yourself into and you have only yourself to blame. He probably see's you as a bit on the side, because that's what you were when it started. If you want a relationship find someone single, then you wont get hurt and neither will the situation hurt anyone else. And all you hypocrits out there.....it takes two

Answer 3

This is a regular pattern, seems a bit strange to me , must be something psychological. I would do some deep thinking too and wonder why. The act of intimacy seems like serious business to him.

Answer 4

It sounds like you are wanting more of a commitment than he is ready or willing to give right now. The behaviour you describe is not unusual even in committed relationships.

You may want to keep you options open, in other words... keep looking out there for Mr Right.

Answer 5

wow what an ideal situation for him gets to live with his partner (not married though) and after you are intimate as you put it you dont see him i wonder why, wake up and smell the roses hun you are being used in an affair, dont fall for that ive not had sex for 2 months crap, he lives with a woman would you put up with that if you were her?, bring this relationship to an end hun i dont think it will go anywhere, sorry to be so blunt, good luk hun

Answer 6

Oh my friend, you are sooooo being used. I mean, intimacy when it suits him and dismissal when it does not? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with somone who shuts you out like this? Seems to me he has all the permanent women he needs in his life. Ditch him, and let yourself find someone who's all yours to love.

Answer 7

Probably because he's an asshole afriad of getting his heart broken so he doesn't open up and just uses women. Don't be a fall back when he gets nocked back! Your worth more. Don't suffer for his immaturity and insecurities

Answer 8

There are secrets he's keeping from you and you are a secret to someone else I am sure. I think you are being lied to and used for sex and you should lose the guy. Just my opinion.

Answer 9

Two words....BOOTY CALL!
don't let him keep on using you.It's obvious he calls you when he's in "the mood" you deserve better than that! And remember,he can only use you,as long as you let him!

Answer 10

Long story short that live in co-parent is his live -in gf or his wife drop him like he's hot.GOOD LUCK