Should I adopt my niece and nephew?

Question

Well, my sister is Native American and she lives in Alabama, I live in Washington State on a Reservation, both of her kids were born in AL, both parents are addicts, he is abusive and in his mid 30's and she is abused in her mid 20's. They went to court and custody went to his parents. She was crying and asking why she couldn't come and live with us...HELP...What can I do and Where do I start?

My niece was the one crying and wondering why she couldn't come and live.
When I called we talked for 20 mins, she said she loved both my three year old daughter and I. She talked to my daughter for 10 mins.

The kids are 5 & 2, girl & boy. The court probably didn't know I exist, She is all the way in Alabama, and im in Washington State.
besides...their grandpa did say their getting pretty old to be looking after young ones.

Answer 1

Start by asking a lawyer in Washington State. You will probably get some info from him/her but since you are dealing with 2 different states law systems, you'll probably will have to get a lawyer in Alabama, who specializes in family law. Since you both are natives, try asking for some help through the Reservation. Growing up in Oklahoma, I know that the Natives out there have legal systems through the Reservations, so maybe they can help you, and if nothing else, they could put you in contact with a good attorney. You will need to be able to fly to Alabama, to put face time in front of the judge, to show them that you are serious about what custody of the children. There is also the fact of the grandparents having cusotdy of the children, you'd need to get them to give up custody to you. BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT is start off with your Reservation and find a good family lawyer.

Answer 2

That is totally up to you. How do you feel about it? Are you ready to take on the responsiblility of 2 more kids? If it was me (which I'm an only child) I would do it. But then I just have 1 kid & I think kids are the best thing in the world & would've loved to have had more. But this is a life altering decision not only for you but for those precious children so I would think long & hard about it first. You need to be comfortable in the decision you make & you do have a tough one it seems. All children deserve love. Whatever you decide to do....just make sure they go into a loving family. If you don't feel comfortable with taking them maybe you could search for a good family to adopt them. There are so many ppl that want to be parents & can't have kids of their own & they would love these kids as the gift that they are. I wish I could've helped more & I do wish you the very best of luck. God bless.

Answer 3

Talk with the grandparents first to make sure you're both on the same page. Then talk together to those that hold the power.

As for adoption, find out if there is some kind of limited restricted foster arrangement possible where the kids don'e end up in the general system but instead they go to specific people designated by the birthparents. In this case it would be you. Reason? It's always best to avoid confussion for the kid's by keeping their parents as their parents. You should just remain their Aunty who loves them dearly and who can look after them while their parents are having problems. That way the option is always there for them to go back if your sister straitens out her life.

Answer 4

If you think it would help to adopt your niece and nephew - and you can offer them a good, healthy environment then sure why not do it. Keep in mind that by taking custidy of them you will be dealing with your sister/bro in law as long as the kids are in your custody.
As for your sister - maybe it would be good for her to go and stay with you. It would get her out of her abusive environment and it would allow her to clean up her act. Talk to her and see if she is willing to leave her abusive man when she comes to stay with you - tell her that you also want her to immediatley get into a rehab program once she gets to your place. Having time away to get her life together and start fresh will help her get perspective.
How old are your niece and nephew? If you have the opportunity or are giving the chance to adopt your niece and nephew and you feel that your able to take care of them and you want to adopt them, why not. Just make sure this is really what you want to do, as it takes alot of love, care and understanding bringing up two other children. I think your a wonderful person for considering adopting your niece and nephew. Be sure your doing it for the children and yourself, not out of guilt because the children are your relatives.

Answer 5

Maybe you need to get a lawyer and petition the Court for custody of the children. However, if they are in a good home now the Court is not likely to uproot them to send them to another home. How old are these kids? Depending on their age they may or may not have a say in where they would like to live.

Answer 6

How old are your niece and nephew? If you have the opportunity or are giving the chance to adopt your niece and nephew and you feel that your able to take care of them and you want to adopt them, why not. Just make sure this is really what you want to do, as it takes alot of love, care and understanding bringing up two other children. I think your a wonderful person for considering adopting your niece and nephew. Be sure your doing it for the children and yourself, not out of guilt because the children are your relatives.

Answer 7

If you think it would help to adopt your niece and nephew - and you can offer them a good, healthy environment then sure why not do it. Keep in mind that by taking custidy of them you will be dealing with your sister/bro in law as long as the kids are in your custody.
As for your sister - maybe it would be good for her to go and stay with you. It would get her out of her abusive environment and it would allow her to clean up her act. Talk to her and see if she is willing to leave her abusive man when she comes to stay with you - tell her that you also want her to immediatley get into a rehab program once she gets to your place. Having time away to get her life together and start fresh will help her get perspective.

Answer 8

You can consult with the court and a lawyer.the court probably made it's decision on age,stability,financial responsibility,references etc. At this point you would not stand much of a chance if you were not considered in the original judgement.Do not let there adults live with you. If they want to change they need professional long term help .IF you were to adopt a child her parents would be more than you could handle.an older grandparent may be more able to resist pleas than you are.If you allow your addicted sister and broyher-in-law you may be letting your self in for legal responsiblities depending on their records,actions and the laws where you live

Answer 9

u should really adopt them because if she is getting abused then that will be a bad things 4 the children, because they will grow up 2 do the same.... so your answer 2 your answer that most people will say is adopt them also file a report on what he does 2 her and how the children are there 2 see it 2 then I bet that you win then, because having children then abusing someone in front of them, that is teaching them bad when they grow up the girl will let boys abuse her because her mom let her dad do that and the boy will abuse girls because his dad did and we all dont wont that 2 happen okay so do the right thing!!!!! :)

Answer 10

Since his parents have custody of the children why would step in and take that away? Tell her that she can not come and live with you until she gets straight. Why would you want her messing up your happy home? It is not your problem. If you keep fixing all the messes she makes she will never grow up.