Okay I have been "friends with benefits" with this guy for the last four years. He and I talk everyday and I know I say friends with benefits, but we don't do it that often. And the problem is I'm in love with him. But he says he doesn't love me that I'm not his type..blah blah blah. But we talk everyday, and everytime I leave him he always pulls me back in. We haven't been intimate in a while and like he is acting as if he cares but I don't want to be stupid. If he gets a girlfriend, he always comes back to me, his relationships never last b/c of me. No matter who he is with, in the end its always about me. Why does he do that if he really doesn't care?
2006-06-15 16:58:50 · 27 answers · asked by Jessica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I say this...I have had guy friends and he gets jealous all the time. If I don't like his girlfriend he leaves her. If he doesn't call me one day he sends me an email letting me know why. I stop talking to him for a week, he always comes to me wondering why. If i leave him, he gives me two days to cool off and he is back trying to be wiht me. Its been three months and we haven't been intimate and yet he still calls me everyday or emails me whatever, so that is why i am so confused
2006-06-15 17:25:09 · update #1
What is going on here is that he does love you but he is afraid to admit it so he tries to use other girls to forget you but his love for you is too strong so he cant forget you so he wants more of you and he tries to use the quote "friends with benefits" to be intimate with you without telling you he loves you.
2006-06-15 17:11:57 · answer #1 · answered by inmaria06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was very young and foolish (21 yrs) I had this guy that was in love with me. He was a good lover and a friend so I keep him around. Basically he was a place holder until I found something better. Every time I found someone else - I would drop him (well not really drop him because he never stood up for himself and demanded a relationship). He made it easy for me to use him...no pressure. So I did. I was a GOOD person but I got lonely and he wanted me so bad so I thought I was doing him a favor too? Occasionally he would walk out of my life angry or jealous but I KNEW he would always come back. The few times he had a chance at another relationship I would try to sabotaged it because I was protecting my bone...not the same as love just territory rights. I hate to be so blunt but you are worth the truth. People need..no want...to be wanted. You have made yourself a place holder for him and because of this - that's what you may always be to him unless you step back and demand to be taken seriously/counted. Most likely he won't...too much history so just walk away and find your prince charming. Today I'm 43..I would never treat A HUMAN BEING LIKE THIS AGAIN...LESSON LEARNED.
2006-06-16 00:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 years is a long time for this kind of relationship. Is he just afraid of intimacy, can't commit? It sounds like he is very attached to you and considers you a friend he doesn't want to lose but for some reason he doesn't consider you what he is looking for in a girlfriend. Why is that? I think you need to have some serious talks with him about that and see if he can be honest with you. It sounds like he really doesn't know what he wants. What is his "type" and if you're not it, then why does he keep coming back? He needs to get in touch with himself.
2006-06-16 00:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by justplaying 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry honey but you just spent four years of your life being a rug ...it may be true that he has feelings for you ..however because he know that you will so easily take him...whenever, wherever..he may feel that there is no need for anything to become serious between the two of you. People like to in their comfort zone which is probably why he will never take it to the next level with you..i mean im not trying to be mean but think about it.....
why is he trying to have "relationships" with other woman..instead of trying to have one with you?..i mean if he knows that you are always there when he needs you...dont u think that you should deserve the same respect?....
2006-06-16 00:21:26 · answer #4 · answered by outspokenone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be because he is confused about what he really wants.I don't know the guy or how he acts so I can't really say for sure.Have you tried talking with him about this problem?I'm sure if you are persistant enough you will most likely get some kind of an answer out of him.Anyway,good luck.
2006-06-16 00:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by sunrisewave360 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is lying to you and himself. Stop going back to him, and be firm about it.
Then see if he changes his tune, when the reality of losing you is real.
Wouldn't hurt your cause, if you found another boyfriend. Even if its all fake, providing you told that guy up front, what the story was.
You always could reward him with a night in bed, if he's agreeable, and who knows, that might lead to better things for you.
Just now, you are like a Library Book that he just takes out, when he needs you.
2006-06-16 00:03:26 · answer #6 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...He's like all the men I know. I love them to death, But when it comes to serious relationships, They don't want to commit. Is that like a deathwish or something? He loves you, But is afraid and also likes the power of knowing that if you and him "Do It", There's no strings attached. He can have his "Girlfriend", But always knows your his pillow when their relationship fails. He might also be protecting you from his playboy ways(Thats the way I see his relationships) because he cares THAT way. Either way, He building a house next to Denial, Trying to tell himself he doesn't feel for you, and He doesn't deserve you and all that junk.
Thats all for me
Sincerely- Angel
2006-06-16 00:09:33 · answer #7 · answered by angelbaby_1223 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you're free booty!!!! He has to keep things good with you because your the one who gets him off when he doesn't have a girlfriend. So it isn't so much as whether or not he cares-he's just making sure you two stay on good terms so he can get the booty when he wants. Be smart-use your head.
2006-06-16 00:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can he be with you sexually, but then say you're not his type.. oh wait.. because he's a guy!! just kidding....
anyway... you need to stop being there for him.. whether you love him or not.. he knows that he will always have you to fall back on... and you need to let him not have that hold on you.
2006-06-16 00:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by emeraldeyesmiles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably likes the freedom of knowing that he can hook up with you whenever. But if it's not that often that you guys hook up, he might be falling or have fallen for you too. Just give him some time to figure it out.
2006-06-16 00:00:49 · answer #10 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋