What age to discipline?

Question

How old should your child be before heavy discipline?

For example, my daughter is only 9 months old however, she likes to kick and wiggle a lot while crying if she doesn't get her way. Saying NO doesn't cut it anymore. What should I do?

Okay those were crappy answers so let me get more specific. When she is in the bath tub she wants to stand up but it's not safe that way, its hard to hold her and wash her at the same time. If I tell her no, she throws her head back and has hurt herself.

Examples of her not getting her way, my daughter likes to not have a diaper on, she kicks and tries to crawl away. She HAS to have one on. That's not something I can ignore.

Answer 1

you should impose strict discipline from birth. my mom did that with me (but she didn't spank me until i was about 2) and i've always been a good boy.

Answer 2

Yeah, 9 months is when it all starts. kicking and wiggling as long as she is not in a dangerous situation the best response is to either ignore or laugh as though it is so out of place that it is hilarious. Well the laughter thing often works a little bit later in like 6 months or so.

I understand that the diaper thing is something that you can't ignore. So... is she in dresses or pants? If she is in pants it will be more difficult for her to get her diaper off. Especially if you get her some nice overalls.

I don't know how mobile your 9 month old is but perhaps you could get one of those toddler seats that go in the bath tub... it has spots for the legs to go in... I think it's original intention was to keep young kids from drowning which seemed kinda stupid since the parent really needs to be there the entire time so maybe it would work for keeping your girl from standing up... at least if that level of complication would be enough to keep her there. I don't know if they sell them anymore but if not then you could look at second hand stores... they always have a lot of random baby stuff.

Personally I think that the the best defense is a good offense... in order to keep the situation away from discipline before it's really time for it, make the situation and communication such that a successful fit is difficult or out of place. Ya gotta stay one step ahead of the little guys.

One thing my mom does with my nephew is uses the word "No" very sparingly. There are plenty of other words that she can use that indicate that the behavior is inappropriate but can communicate more. The best I think is "Wait" It indicates that there is a time and place for it but that time and place is not here and now. This keeps "No" having more power for situations that are incredibly dangerous.

Hope this is somewhat helpful.

Answer 3

Children must be disaplined at a young age. Starting from when they are young makes them better human beings in the long run as they grow. In your situation with her only being 9 months old its hard to disapline a child at that age. However when she is crying like that stand by the word NO and use authority in your tone of voice when saying it. Let her know that what you say goes. If she begins to throw a tantrum give her a first warning. Also enforce a "naughty spot" or "naughty corner". If she refuses to calm down or stop the kicking sit her on the naughty spot for 5 to 10 mins, and explain to her why you've placed her there! Spanking a child should never really be used. So try to sway away from that option. If she gets up from that spot when you've placed her there, dont react just grab her and place her back. Explain again why she is there and walk away.

Answer 4

Here is the deal, I am two years shy of 40. I have three young ladies and they are wonderful. If you want to listen to some old person then continue to read. But if you feel that some old person giving you advice and giving you honesty then stop reading now.

For one, relax. SHE is only 9 months old. SHE is still a baby. YOU are too; WAY TOO into trying to discipline. You are stressing too much. Keep stressing and you'll end up like that one female that just came on and asked about the symptoms of shaken baby. She admitted that she got mad and shook her baby. Now the poor thing is wanting to sleep and vomiting constantly. Will it survive? Maybe; depends on how bad. Depends on the chances that the doctors give. Ask yourself-Can I do that? Can I live with that on my conscience?
Probably not. So here is what I can tell you.
When my little girls were still babies me and momma always let them run around without their diapers on. That gave them freedom and helped keep the diaper rash down. As far as the bath thing; you have to just be more patient than usual. Tap her little butt and firmly say no!. Believe me surprisal is more hurtful than the actual pain itself. After a while she will learn when you only say no. She will know the word.
Two; Throwing fits and throwing herself on the floor, just let her. Walk away and let her have her fit. Don't aknowledge that she is getting your attention. When she notices that you are no where around to watch the show then she'll stop. When she stops then you love her and tell her that mommy loves her. Thats the only thing you can do until she turns 2 years old +. RELAX; it doesn't mean your a bad parent if you don't become strick with them. Allowing them their space and showing your love is better than being real stricked. Hey, I have three girls and they have grown to very independant and wonderful young ladies. Soccor, cheerleading, girlscouts. Each one momma and I done different tactics. And all of them worked.

Answer 5

discipline should start as soon as undesirable behavior starts. This is a learning process that every child needs to know that their actions-even very young --have consequences both good and bad. As they get older-this discipline will develop into a productive and stable adult.

Second-- if this unruly behavior continues, unacknowledged even after all attempts, there may actually be a chemical unbalance such as ADHD as an example (this was what my step-daughter was diagnosed with). This, too, needs immediate attention with tests! Talk to the doctor right away! The sooner you find if this is the case, or not, the sooner parenting will become more enjoyable for you.

Answer 6

I'm a big fan of ignoring the child during a tantrum. Most of the time they do it of attention. And there is no age limit to discipline. It should start from day one, by not jumping up every time the child cries. If the child truly needs something they will cry for more than 2 minutes.

Answer 7

It seems that human beings at any age are hard-wired to test limits. Be Stronger than your kid mom. Pleasant but strong. Let your daughter grow up thinking that your will is made of iron. I agree with much that these wise women have answered you with but maybe by using different words I can help. I am a man but I know that women notice EVERYTHING! Be aware of the expressions on your face when you deal with your daughter. She will do disagreeable things and learn your reactions. Study her. Learn when she is trying to get your attention. When she does it in an unacceptable manner just let your reaction be deadpan. If she continues let your reaction be negative. It takes three weeks to make or break a habit so toughen up.

Answer 8

well in the tub if you are done everything she needs done you should take her out! If not hold her down and finish quickly! I remember once my brother stood up and before i could catch him he fell, he never did it again! I'm not suggesting letting her fall by any means, but sometimes kids learn on their own! If she can understand anything other than no, maybe try and show her it's slippery and she can hurt herself!
as for the diaper, i would 'tap' her (if you don't believe it's abuse) and say NO!
YOu just need to be firm! she'll get better with time!
Good Luck!

Answer 9

I don't think 9 months is too early to discipline, but you really know your daughter and what will work for her, short of beating the child. Do not let her get away with it because she will learn as she gets older that this is how she can get her way. Children know at as young as your daughter how to 'manipulate' (even though they don't realize they are doing it, they just want their way). You say 'NO' but how sternly do you say it. Do you just say 'no' or are you saying 'NO, I SAID NO!!!'. Sometimes its the tone of voice that can really get your point across. Sitting her in the crib until her tantrum stops is a good idea. Good luck with her!!!!!

Answer 10

Be patient. Children squirm and wiggle and cry - it is what they do. The more response she gets from you, the more likely she will continue. When she behaves this way, calmly pick her up, take her to her crib, and let her cry for a while. Once she realizes that there is no reward attached to such behavior [i.e. Mommy fusses and tries to soothe me, or Mommy turns red in the face and looks so funny] it will stop on its own. It takes time and patience and consistency, but it works.

Answer 11

with a 9 month old it is too early to discipline. if she is trying to get something that she is not supposed to firmly grab her hand, say "no" in a firm voice and give her something that is safe for her to play with to distract her. or in your example where she was trying to stand up in the tub, hold her down with a firm hand so she cant stand up while saying no and give her a bath toy or something to distract her, also, make eye contact with her when you say no. when you are trying to put on her diaper and she kicks and wiggles, firmly grab her legs and tell her no in a slightly raised firm voice. when i say firmly grab, i do not mean to hurt her, just show her whos boss. i have a 9 month old and this technique works very well with her. the key is to distract her by giving her something safe to play with. good luck.