I am getting married and my parents said they would pay for everything and would not give me a limit for spending/budget. They also made some decisions, about serving a meal, and where to have a reception, that significantly increased the costs. Now I am visiting home and it seems like they are strapped for cash as I ask for hundreds to pay for wedding things. Should I feel guilty?
2006-06-15 14:42:35 · 11 answers · asked by totalx21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I should clarify, the hundreds is stuff they said they would cover (like the DJ for example), and just haven't paid for yet.
2006-06-15 14:57:55 · update #1
Nope. Don't feel guilty but if there is a second wedding and they decide to give you pennies for any future nuptials...YOU DON'T FEEL BAD.
2006-06-15 14:46:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you and your fiance?
Do you both work?
Are you living together?
Do you have children together?
Have you been married before?
If you are over 30 and answered yes to any of the other questions it is *really* over the top to ask your cash strapped parents to pay for your extravegence. That would mean the answer is YES!
Be a kind daughter and pull the plug on the storybook wedding and have a nice, quiet family ceremony and a big party after the ceremony with a nice big cake and champange. For 100 people the cake and champange shouldn't set you back more than 4K.
If your parents can not afford a bid wedding, they are doing it out of obligation. Your obligation to them is to take it down a few hundred notches and NOT do the over the top event. A sit down dinner, your dress & reception hall etc. can cost tens of thousands of dollars. All of that debt in their pockets for a few hours of party.
Best of luck to you and your fiance.
2006-06-15 14:56:40 · answer #2 · answered by answer annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parent's paid for my wedding, but I would be darned if I'd go home asking for hundreds towards wedding stuff. I would either go with my mom to get stuff or I would buy it on my own. I figured they spent enough with the basics of the wedding - the least I could do was foot a tiny bit of the bill.
2006-06-15 14:49:26 · answer #3 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, unless your parents are very wealthy. Elaborate weddings can cost in the tens of thousands - keep the wedding small enough not to bankrupt your parents and large enough to make them happy. Actually, a small wedding and a down payment on a new home is the better way to go.
2006-06-15 14:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by carolewkelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and don't let it stop there. A wedding is a wonderful thing, but it is not worth letting your parents go into the poor house for it. Try to down size. It will be more fun for all involved if there are not all the pressures of a costly wedding hanging over all of your heads.
2006-06-15 14:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by hossnme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guilty no, but do you and the groom have a job to help pay for the little things since your parents are paying for the large part of the wedding. Have you even tried to help out or you just accepted that they can afford to pay for everything. good luck and i hope you have a very good day.
2006-06-15 14:54:30 · answer #6 · answered by lady t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they made the decisions then no dont feel guilty. They want to give you the best wedding possible. Its your big day
2006-06-15 14:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by Great Gifts 4 Everyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
feeling guilty wouldnt really help ... but try lessening their load by cutting down on some things, or even repaying some of the cost after your marriage :)
take care!
2006-06-15 14:46:59 · answer #8 · answered by Sci-Buff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope.
2006-06-15 14:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by betty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not... Just make sure they are there for you financially when you need a good divorce attorney.
2006-06-15 14:48:43 · answer #10 · answered by bigern1977 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋