what would you do? (Part 2......)?

Question

I asked this question yesterday But i forgot to mention some important details..........

I just recieved an invitation to my cousins wedding for september.... I have a 4 1/2 month old baby.. BUT only my husband & I are invited!!! My daughter will be 7 1/2 months old when the wedding comes & I have no-one to babysit her (not that I'd want her baby sat anyway!!!) Im thinking of not going as im really dissapointed that she cant come... Its not as if they have to pay for her, or that she'll run around or anything! should we go or not? What would you do?

ADDED INFORMATION......
THERE IS GOING TO BE KIDS @ THE WEDDING IT IS NOT A KIDS FREE WEDDING!!!!!!! MY COUSIN JUST HAS A BIG FAMILY & DIDNT WANT TO INVITE EVERYONES KIDS!!!! I THINK IT SHOULD BE ALL OR NOTHING.... I MEAN I WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD IF IT WAS NO KIDS AT ALL...BUT ITS NOT! .... NOW WHAT WOULD YOU DO????

Answer 1

Talk to your cousin (or your aunt & uncle or someone else close to the bridal couple if you're not comfortable asking them) ask whether they intentionally left your child off of the invitation. Be very polite, just say "Well, I wanted to check before we RSVP, because we don't know whether we'll be able to get a babysitter if we're not supposed to bring the baby." If they have a reason that they don't want the baby there, they'll tell you then.
If they don't have a reason, reassure them that you will do everything to keep the baby from interrupting the ceremony.

As a recent bride, I can tell you that there were some baby noises during my ceremony, but it meant more to me that the family members and friends all came to the wedding. As long as the kid isn't too noisy, I would think your cousin would rather have you there with the baby than have you not come at all.

Answer 2

7 1/2 months is a bit young to even be taking to a wedding. Do you really think you can control your daughters behavior? She might cry during the ceremony and that's an important day for your cousin. It's all about your cousin not you and your baby. If you can't find a babysitter then don't go and send your apologies and congrats. But don't disrespect them by taking her if she isn't invited. Or at least talk to your cousin and see if they would mind if she came. Maybe they just kinda forgot to add her to the invitation because the baby is soo new and they had a lot of people to invite or just didn't think that you would want to take the baby.

Answer 3

There could be a lot of reasons why your daughters name wasnt put on the invitation. Maybe she knew she was still so young and didnt think she would sit well through the wedding and the reception and just wanted you and your husband to be able to relax and enjoy yourself. But maybe she honestly meant nothing by it and just didnt think to put her name down on the invitation and would have no problem and heck may even expect her to be there with you. I would ask her because that is the only way you will truly know why there it wasnt included. As for not going if she isnt invited i would have to ask myself how close you are to the relative getting married. Would they be hurt if you didnt come? Will you feel bad or sorry you missed it? If you think she will be hurt then i think you should go because there probably is a godo reason for her not inviting the child, she is your family and she wouldnt do that just to hurt you, if she cared that little she wouldnt have invited you and your husband in the first place.

Answer 4

Well, I don’t understand why your daughter wouldn’t be included, especially since she’s so young and should be no trouble at the wedding, no added cost, etc, as you mentioned. However, this IS your cousin’s wedding, and the couple are allowed to choose who they want to invite. If I were you, I would first go to my cousin and his/her fiancé/e and talk to them. If they still insist that they’d rather not allow you to bring her, for whatever reason, accept their decision and move on. It sounds a little like you don’t want to go anywhere without your child – and while it’s completely understandable that you love her and want to be with her, it might do you and your husband some good to go to a function and have a good time without extra work of having the baby around (even though she may not feel like “extra work” ;o)). If you really have NO ONE to babysit (although with 3 months to figure it out, you could probably find someone), make sure you mention that to your cousin when you explain all this, and tell him/her that you’d really like to come to the wedding, but you have no one to watch the baby, and she wouldn’t be any trouble, etc… I hope this all works out for you!

Answer 5

Ya know, I think everybody can do something that may be considered a little less than polite at least once in their lives. If this is the time you choose to use that card, you are a better woman than me lol. I can see why you are concerned, because it is your cousins day, but come on...its your baby. I doubt she'll even notice or care b/c she will caught up in the happiness of getting married. She is probably just freaking out a little about not inviting everyone's kids. She probably just wants everything to go absolutely perfect and maybe is afraid that a bunch of squirmy little kids may be a distraction. She is just nervous, don't take it personal. I say, take your baby along! What is she going to do, kick you out? Lol, you'll be fine.

Answer 6

I would say to your cousin that you really want to be there at the wedding and as your daughter will still be so young, you don't feel you can leave her and would it be possible to bring her along? It's not like it is going to cost them any extra, a 7 month old baby is not going to eat a dinner or drink at the bar, she will be with you the whole day so not running around causing mayhem, I doubt your cousin will have a problem with you bringing her, best to ask though as you wouldn't want to cause a row on the wedding day.

Answer 7

I would say that's it's pretty obvious that infants aren't welcome at this wedding and it would be rude for you to just show up with her. I know that you think that your baby is the best ever and that's great, exactly how it's supposed to be. However, there are lots of people who aren't that into babys and find them to be intrusive. Baby's can be very loud. You either need to find a baby sitter or not go to the wedding. You are looking at this from a new 1st time mom's point of view and she is seeing it from a childl free couple's point of view. CFCs don't understand what the big deal about a baby sitter is, it's only a few hours. You have to go out without the baby at some point.

Answer 8

Did other people that got invites have their children's names listed on the invitation? I would check that first, since it isn't a kid free wedding, maybe she only put the adults names on the invite and just assumed everyone would know their children would be coming. If she left yours off and put it on others, I would definitely ask her why. If she didn't do the invites herself, it could have been a simple mistake of someone else not knowing to add your daughter or it was just accidentally left off. Mistakes do happen.

Answer 9

As a bride to be... I would think that you and your family are invited... my invites say only the adults names but kids are DEFINITELY invited! I suspect that it was just an oversight - if you are worried that this is not the case, give your cousin a call and ask the question. You wouldn't want to miss the wedding over a miscommunication! Good luck.

Answer 10

I think it could be a genuine mistake, if your cousin didn't invite your baby no need to get mad, just ask her why you're invited and your baby's not, tell her you won't attend the wedding if you can't take your daughter.