How can I stop my 6 yr old from hitting friends when he gets angry? Out time, talking, punish not working.?

Answer 1

How are his communication abilities? Often children that age hit when they are frustrated. He may not also know what to do when he is frustrated.

Here are three very relevent links that can help:
http://www.vanderbiltchildrens.com/interior.php?mid=2023&PHPSESSID=7b8451808c184b5c53773b090fa5c167
http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/81.htm
http://www.nncc.org/Guidance/dc31_cope.anger.html

I hope that helps you understand the problem better and gives you some ideas. The key to helping him is patience. You can reward him for doing things other than hitting when he is angry.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

1. In a quiet moment, when there is no "incident" happening, explain to him that you are not going to tolerate him hitting people any more. There is no need to explain why, or how you will stop it, you just need to establish that you are boss.

2. Whenever you witness him hitting someone else, immediately pick him up, carry him to a new location, and firmly, quietly, and without emotion sit on him for a goodly time - enough to elicit his tears/anger/rage. Bring a book to read while you sit on him. Make sure it lasts for a long time.

Do not hurt him at all, but establish you are in control. He should be uncomfortable.

3. When you release him, tell him he will be going to his room without supper. Remind him that you will not tolerate him hitting other people. Again, no need to explain why - the only why is because you said so.

4. When he goes to bed that night, tell him that you would like to help him solve whatever made him angry, but only when he is calm. He doesn't have to do so then - it's an invitation to help whenever he is calm.

5. Repeat until it stops. It should take 3-5 times of him testing your resolve before he quits.

6. Remember not to get the least bit angry - just be cool, calm and controlled - exhibit the behavior you expect from him.

Answer 3

A 6 years old....gee...that will take time. Be consistent and don't let up. He needs to be told to use his words. Whenever he is hitting his friends for, you need to help him work through the problem the way that it really should be handled. When at home try role playing and remind him when he gets with his friends, no hitting aloud. Keep doing this over and over, it will work but it takes time and patience.
Give some incentive. If he doesn't hit his friend he can have 2 cookies instead of one. And stick to it.
Good Luck. It's all worth it.

Answer 4

Do not hit back as suggested by someone else. Consistency in your rules and reactions on hitting are the best thing. You can't just punish him every now and again, it has to be every time he does it. You need to find his currency, what is the one thing he loves more than anything. Once you find it take it away each time. This should help out.
Goo luck friend

Answer 5

My daughter went through this with smaller children. We tried all the above also, she quit when we started to allow other children to hit her back. We actually would make a big deal about it & announce that there would be a fight @ a certain time & for all to be there. We would serioulsy allow the children to work it out or duke it out. She is now 7 &1/2 & it seems to have stopped. Good luck on your "lil Mike tyson " there.

Answer 6

Why don't you take away his "friends" privilages for awhile, and make sure he understands why. Tell him he's not allowed to see his friends anymore until he shows good behavior and stops hitting. If it happens again, take the same precautions but take away other privilages that he values but never gets taken away; such as dessert, time outside, even take away the privilage of him sleeping in his own bed and make him sleep on the floor in your room. Just make sure you stress on him why you're doing this; not just because you love him but he needs to learn that hurting others is wrong.

Answer 7

Talk with him and ask him how he feels when he gets hit by a friend and explain that they feel that way also when he hits them. Try a reward system for his good behavior. Let him know you will not tolerate him hitting others. You will find yourself being repetitive and reminding him. Be consistent and patient with him. Good luck!

Answer 8

6 is old enough to understand that hitting other people is wrong. I would explain to him that if he hits again that you will spank him. Then if he does, follow through with your promise. Feel free to e-mail if you would like to discuss this further.

Answer 9

Don't let him play with his friends and explain to him why he can't. Explain that as long as he can't control himself he can't have friends. Then when he does it again immediately remove him and take him home or send his friends home. If you do this every time he'll stop.

Answer 10

try hitting him so he feels the pain it works 80%