Is there anyone here is againts sex. Or sex is bad? why?

Question

I feel it really stupid sometimes that sex is so bad. Anyway for me it's not the most imfortant thing. But when i grow up my mother even call me a hore just because i talk to a boy. If they catched me have a boyfriend they hit me. One time my mother find a love letter in my bag i was 15 that time. She get so mad that she put the paper in my mouth my throat bleed. I can't eat only drink water.
She never believe me even i said that none of my boyfriend have really have sex with me because I'm so afraid they will find out. Just thanks to my husband i'm save.

Answer 1

there's nothing wrong with sex.... there is however something seriously wrong with your mother. you couldn't eat?! what the hell is that? she should be in the loony bin!

Answer 2

As a mom myself, I'll tell you this. My parents were nutty when I had a boyfriend too. Always afraid of what family and neighbors would think, forever fearing that I would not stay a virgin. However, I'll tell you something. The way things are today, with all the social diseases and everything else, it's probably best to wait. I know if I had it to do all over again, I would. Although I was a virgin until I was 19.

Your mom and dad are just worried about you and even though they've been rough with you, which was truly uncalled for, just let them know that you understand how they feel.

Sweetie, with all that is going wrong with the world today, parents are just so afraid that you'll end up with a disease, pregnant, raped, kidnapped, dead...or all the above. They love you, no two ways about it. If you go to them and let them know that you can understand and you've tried to think about their position and how you would feel if you were them, and you were their daughter. It helps when family knows you can understand where they're coming from. Then give them a hug and a kiss and tell them you have dreams for your future and you want to fulfill those dreams. You'll see a different attitude in them...and that's the truth. When it's all said and done, then ask them, in a kindly way, to please not call you names because you feel downhearted when they do.

Then, little by little (and it may take a few months) you'll see that they'll begin trusting you. But don't do it just to pull the wool over their eyes cause they'll spot it in a nanosecond...and you'll be back in the same boat. And find some reason to spend quality time with your mom, especially. Even going for walks together helps a mother to feel accepted in your world. They need to come down to your age again, and you need to take a trip upward into the mind of a parent who is frightened for you.

Good luck sweetie and remember...sex isn't a bad thing at all. It's a natural human instinct. But it's just better to save it for that one person in your life who you'll want as your husband forever. That's the pure joy of a relationship.

Answer 3

It sounds as though you mom was trying to protect you from making a mistake. There is nothing wrong with sex if you are cautious about it, but some times parents can do mental damage in their zeal to protect you from different things. Try seeing a counselor about it if you think it's still a problem for you, affecting your love life in you marriage. Sex is more important in a relationship then a lot of people like to believe. Sex is the tool that we use to be intimate with the one we love. The thing that we are supposed to do with our husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend and no one else. The only thing that really separates a close friendship to love relationship is sex. If your feeling guilty about sex then you may be doing damage to your relationship with out knowing it. Or you may be robbing your self of all that you can experience in your relationship.

Answer 4

To be honest, it's possible that all the bad associations that you rightly have with how your mother reacted to the idea that you even *might* have been having sex.......has something to do with how you feel about sex now.

From what you have said, every time the subject came up......something bad happened to you. And it was **the very person who supposedly cared the most for you** who was, at the same time, punishing you for simply being *capable* of having sex.

Now your husband is in that role. Now he is the person who cares the most for you. So it would not be odd if your mind associated the old messages your mother used to tell you......with him.

Being constantly punished simply because......people **do** have sex.....even if it was *not* yourself who was having it......could certainly leave a person with a bad feeling about the whole idea of sex.

I hope that in time, and with trust in your husband, you will come to find that sex is not the bad thing that your mother so unjustly punished you for.

In a trusting relationship it can be a very caring thing : A thing that is connected with loving and honoring, rather than with punishment.

And that it's real truth.

Bob J.

Answer 5

I had similar problem's and I can tell you.You have to confront your old hang-ups.You know what you did and didn't do.Your mother is not even to be considered in the equations any more.You can be a victim all your life Or from this day you can file away thing's that happened as a child and start your life from Today!!You can only blame others for so long.As an adult you have choices if you choose to be unhappy you will be.There's nothing shameful in sex.Don't be afraid to be and feel w/ your husband.Don't be like you Mom ,sound's like she don't like sex.(No disrespect is meant)I gave up my hang ups and phobia's from childhood and Sex is great now. Good luck

Answer 6

Sex is something God gave us and its only wrong when you do it out side of marrige.Because God clearly states that in the bible. Anyway if you have sex with every guy you meet it isnt special its just a game plus would that guy have stayed if you practiced abstinince probably not so wait dont go into something foolisdhly because he says he loves you. Because If he really loved you he would wait and then ask you to marry him.

Answer 7

without sex none of us would be here. It sounds like your parents made what they believe to be bad decisions regarding sex and used that as an excuse to abuse you, I hope that you have been able to work through any problems/neusosis they caused by being abusive and you and your husband are able to have a relatively normal sex life. I will never understand why people do some of the **** they do to their kids.

Answer 8

Sex is wonderful, and your parents must have enjoyed it at some point or there wouldn't have been you.

I'm not sure from the way you wrote your question if this is your current situation or your past situation, but if you are married to a husband who loves you and enjoys you and you enjoy him, you are not a "whore" and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Enjoy one of God's most wonderful gifts.

Answer 9

Sex is considered "bad" by some who wish to maintain a power structure over the common people (IE politicos, religions, etc). Sex is the one thing they can't take from us, so they make us think it's bad. As long as you have consensual, protected sex with your partner, you're fine, just make sure you don't have any diseases, and stay safe.

Answer 10

I'm not against sex or anything. Sex is bad only when it's sex before marriage. other than that there is nothing wrong with having sex with the person you love and lives with.

Answer 11

No,but sex without marriage is bad because its considered a sin.Right now thousands or millions of people i should say, are out there right now sinning because they are not married and having babies out of wed-lock.So my answer to you on a down to earth note is that sex is only bad when your not doin it safe and on a spiritual tip,only if your not married.