Do people ever fully recover from a death of a friend or family member?

Question

My dad died about 4 years ago this halloween.......I feel like i have pushed it so far down so that i would not feel the pain of the loss.. that i never fully dealt with it....so every year on halloween its like living the day he died over again and i can see it so clearly...then i feel like i push it deep down inside again until the next halloween comes....how do you fully deal with the death of someone close to you?

Answer 1

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. You will recover from his death but it will always be with you, but that isn't a bad thing, you will grow with it, as your life changes and evolves you will come to terms with it and be able to accept and get through it. I know what you are going through and so do alot of other people, reach out when it gets to be to much. Just like you did today by asking this question!!

Answer 2

Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel in the past three years I have lost 4 really close family members. I'm the type of person that holds everything in and shows no emotions. So what I do is keep a diary/journal. This helps you sort out your emotions and deal with them. If this doesn't help maybe you could try talking to someone who has gone through this and succeeded up close and personal. Good Luck

Answer 3

You will always miss him. It is important to reach some sort of closure. You seeing it so clearly every year could be a problem if it's affecting your life. You could seek therapy if you feel that would help. A therapist could help you work out some of the troubles you're having.

I feel that I've fully dealt with the death of the loved ones who have gone before me. I know that I will see them again, for they have gone to the Lord and so will I, one day. This thought helped me through the really tough parts and I think about it every day.

Answer 4

I feel your pain. My dad died June 17th, 1998. I cried every night for 6 months & some days I still cry. You do need to find some closure so you can grieve over the loss of your father. I'll tell you something that happened to my husband & I, it was either a message from my father letting me know that he was ok or from an angel helping me to let go.
My husband & I were at work, it was June 4th, 2004. I got this strong feeling that I needed to go to the cemetery where my father was buried so I told my husband & we left work.
When we got to the cemetery, I walked over to my father's resting place and I immediately started crying. There was 2 other people there that were putting up a headstone. My husband stepped back so I could 'talk' to my father. I asked him, what is wrong, why did I feel like I was needed here today?? Then all of a sudden we heard a man screaming "OH GOD, HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME!" My husband took off running and I got in the car & backed it up. The strap broke that was holding up a 1000lb headstone & fell on the knee of one of the workers. The guy helping him had rushed to the store because his cell phone didn't work. I used another cell phone they had & called 911 & then called his boss. The whole time I was holding this mans hand. talking to him, praying for him asking him to be strong. He wouldn't let go, he was crying and he asked if he was going to lose his leg and I told him NO. but in my mind I knew he would. It looked like it just ripped his knee completely off. He asked me if I was an angel because he saw a bright white light. I told him that I wasn't an angel and that my name sheila. He kept begging me not to leave him. My husband helped the cops & the ambulance drivers due to the driver's looking as they went by. This man begged me not to leave his side. He said sheila please don't leave me, I'm scared. I cried as he cried.
Well, now we all know why I had the strong urge to get to the cemetery that day. The ambulance driver said that if I had not of been there talking to him he would have went into shock and things would have been alot worse for the man.
After about a week, I called the mans employer. I just had to know how he was. His mom was there & she spoke with me. She said now I got to hear the angels voice that helped my son.
He didn't lose his leg nor his knee. He made a full recovery 4 months later.

Answer 5

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. I actually lost my Grandmother about a year and a half ago. I lived right next door to her, We were so close. My Mom actually watched my Grandmother pass away. You can never get over it, it is something that will haunt you forever. But when I am sad, I remember that she is in a better place now and that she would not want me to be upset. I just think about all of the good times we had. Well...good luck!

Answer 6

I just lost my sister in law on 6-4-06 to Cancer. She was only 37. She was one of my best friends. I have been devastated since it happened, but am trying each day to focus on the good that she brought to my life. One of the most therapeutic things for me was writing and delivering her eulogy. Although it has been 4 years since your dad's passing, why not try writing a tribute or eulogy of sorts for him. Once you do, you can read it whenever you want and remember all the wonderful things he brought to your life. Try not to take the positives you speak of and turn them into more of a reason to miss him. Take those thoughts, deeds, words, whatever they may be and pay it forward. Do unto others as your dad would have done. You will be a true living legacy.

Answer 7

You make them proud of u. U Excel and do your for yourself. U pray for them and visit them if u can from time to tell. One thing they'll always know is that u love them and they loved u. Love is always. I dont think people ever get over dealing with a death, i believe people learn how to cope with dealing with a death. Hang in there hun. Pay never goes completely away but it does get better. Talk about the good time, laugh and cry. Go through the emotions especially with people that were closes to him. savor those sweet memories. :)

Answer 8

My Dad will have passed away 5 years ago this September. I read your account of "pushing it deep inside" and thought wow, someone who has dealt with it the same way I have.
I cannot begin to tell you the amount of death that my family has endured. I can tell you that we all deal with it in our own ways, in our own time. It effects me in the values I have today. The things I thought important at one time have been rearranged.

Answer 9

That's a deep question but if you know in your heart that he's in a better place now then he was here on earth, that helps a great deal. Don't focus on his death, but his life and the memory of it. Celebrate that every halloween instead.

Answer 10

No.

It is impossible to fully deal with that loss. My Grandmother, who raised me, died on Christmas Morning. That was 28 years ago.

The difference is that I still think of her on Christmas but I rejoice in the memories instead of grieving over the loss.

I hope this helps.