I have a home day care and today one of the moms came to get her 1 year old and the baby wanted to stay with me instead of going to her mom. She actually cried and reached out for me when her mom picked her up! This child has been with me since she was 3 months old and spends about 45 hours a week with me. The mom seemed cool about it, but I know it had to hurt her feelings, and I was wondering how you would feel if your child did this to you. My son never did this when he was in day care so I'm curious.
2006-06-15 12:10:41 · 28 answers · asked by WREAGLE 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
in this day and time of people doing all these horrible things, honestly it would ease my mind and make me love you even more because I would know you are good to my child. I suppose there would be a twinge of jealousy but if the mother has no choice but to work that many hours she can rest easy that her child is loved and not abused
2006-06-15 12:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
The child spends all day with you. It's somewhat normal. The child probably only spends a few hours with the parent, then goes to sleep. As a parent, I wouldn't take it too personal. I would take it as a good thing. The child likes the babysitter. But I would be concerned if the child seemed to fear going to the mother. There's a difference of simply wanting to stay at the fun babysitters house or being afraid to go home with mommy. More than likely...she just likes you alot and thinks you're fun.
2006-06-15 19:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by zenkitty27 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just possible that this child doesn't spend much bonding time with mom. Does she go out a lot? Maybe she leaves baby with other people a lot. Mabye baby is scared to go home? I have this Aunt who was never able to have children of her own. She adopted one child and will be adopting again soon. For some reason children, all children who have ever been around her love her dearly. She has this amazing way with them. I have never seen a child/baby that wouldn't take to her right away. I have a 6 month old who is afraid of everyone. She is so attached to me and won't even sit with Daddy for too long. But for some reason she will go with my Aunt, even overnight! I call her the "kid whisperer" LOL Maybe the baby just bonded with you more over mom....
2006-06-15 19:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by mother_flower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel flattered that the child fully trusts you. As a mother of 2 boys and both of them had been in daycare, I found confidence knowing my child felt safe and I had a made a good choice in a daycare provider. Yes, it kind of stings when you are no longer the center of the universe for the most precious person in you life, but it's only momentary. Every child is different. If this reaction lasts for more than a few months I may be concerned if I saw bruises on the child or compulsive bad reactions such as easy startling. But other than that, no reason to be concerned.
2006-06-15 19:20:28 · answer #4 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not uncommon at all. Now with my son depending on what day it was and what his mood was there were times he didn't want to come to me. I didn't get upset but it let my know they were treating him good. The next time the child acts this way just hug both of them at the same time and the two of you together kind-of move to and fro it will sooth the child. My best friends son never wanted to go with her and I would only watch him every now and then!!
2006-06-15 23:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by whatIthink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my children did something a little similar to that when he was one. It hurt my feelings, not just because it seemedlike he liked her more, but it hurt because I knew that It was my fault and that the choices that I made were affecting my child that way. I wished I could stop working so much, but I couldn't, so when I did have him I made sure to spend alot of quality time together. He didn't do that anymore, and I learned that quantity is not nearly as important as quality. So no matter how much time he spent with anyone else.... Mommy was always #1!
2006-06-15 19:20:15 · answer #6 · answered by sososad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would realize that I'm spending too much time away from my child and try to rectify that situation. I wouldn't be upset. I'd just know I had to do something to improve my child's and my relationship.
It's a busy world out there and it's really hard for mothers who work outside the home to be able to give their children the attention that they so desperately need. It makes me sad for both the mothers and the children.
2006-06-15 19:17:30 · answer #7 · answered by H11-1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel great knowing that I have a day care that treats my child so well that it wants to stay there. I would also start to spend more quality time with my child.
2006-06-15 19:24:35 · answer #8 · answered by bayouhenry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for kids to tend to cling to providers. I'm sure the mother understands. The child spends alot of time with you. Maybe the mother is distant from the child?
2006-06-15 19:14:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son does this to my ex when he is dropped back off at my place. He clings to his dad and cries and he is only 2 years old. His dad only sees him 9 hours a week, but I think it is a normal reaction. He probably sees you as a serogate parent and enjoys spending time with you
2006-06-15 19:19:34 · answer #10 · answered by bbsnoopy83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋