nothing perverted. please
2006-06-15 11:37:27 · 7 answers · asked by Bee 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The First Date
A boy decided to have a dinner with his girlfriend parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
2006-06-15 19:28:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I haven't heard many funnier stories than the ones i have listed. I have only heard of one really great story, the rest I have lived.
I have a really big family. I will tell you the funniest stories from my family.
At one family function ( I think it was a birhtday) My mom and I were about to serve dessert that had lueberries in it with some other fruit. All of a sudden my sister started to freak out. " I hate blueberries! Why did you make blueberries. Everyone knows I hate bueberries!," ect. My mom tried to calm her down by saying she wouldn't give her blueberries. My sister was way to pissed off to care what my mom said. Then I heard my grandma laughing. My grandma thought my sister was joking. My sister wasn't joking, she did it for the attention. In the end my sister left in a huff.
At Christmas a couple years ago another incident happenend. My mom loves Thanksgiving. She works really hard to make the food great and everyone is happy. My family is mixeed so there was a lot of people there. All my Dads kids were there. On Christmas my sister (from above) freaked out. She was mad because she thought my Mom liked my Dads kids better because she used the nice plates and stuff on Thanksgiving. My sister (from above) was using a plastic plate. She was sooo mad she ended up leaving.
On my birthday this year I had my Mom had our whole family over. We were all talking and having a great time. Then my sister (from above) explodes. She is freaking out about hating her boss, AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY! My grandpa starts laughing histarically. Everybody is looking at him and my sister. My Mom is friends with her boss. After the party my sister is still there (amazing). My Mom tried to convince her that her boss is really a nice person and a good boss. My sister decides to leave.
My poor MOM!!! amd Gandparents!!!!!
I also heard a really great lawyer was driving in the carpool lane. The cops saw him and pulled him over. The cop pulled him over because he was driving alone in the carpool lane. The really great lawyer's rebuttle was my dog is with me. I think the lawyer was arrested or something.
(Spell Check isn't working so I am sorry if there are a lot of words spelt wrong!)
2006-06-15 19:04:43 · answer #2 · answered by erinbobarin12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, actually, this is what happened to me. It may be kinda cheesy, but I still think it's funny. . .
My mom saw this guy from my school on the street and she's like "Do u know him?" So I said "Yea, that's Nolan but he's really fugly." And then she says "No, he's not fugly, he's actually pretty hott." So I'm like "Eww."
I was on the phone with my friend Amber the next day, so I said "My mom thinks Nolan's hott." She was like "R u serious??" So I said "Yea." Then we just laughed at the whole stupid thing for the next 10 minutes.
Two days later, I was at school and Nolan was standing behind me in the lunchline. And then he just said "Amber told me something interesting." So I'm like "What?" And the he goes "I sit true that ur mom thinks I'm hott?" I got kinda pissed off, so I just said "Yea, it's true. Where's Amber?" And then I walked over to the table where she was at and said "Amber, u idiot. Did u tell Nolan that my mom thinks he's hott?" That also got the attention of everybody else at the table, and everybody just started going "R u serious?" "Does ur mom really think Nolan's hott?" "Why would ur mom like Nolan?" "Eww." So I just said "Yea, I know, it sux" a few times, then I looked at Amber again. And she was all "U know, cuz I sat across from him in 9th hour, and I didn't know what to say. . . So I was like 'u know Diana' and he was like 'yea' so I said 'her mom thinks ur hott'. And then he just said 'is she married' so I answered 'what u wanna get with her?'" So I just started laughing when I heard that.
If u actually read this whole thing, u have to admit that if it happened to u u'd think it was kinda funny. . . ^ - ^
2006-06-15 18:56:24 · answer #3 · answered by ~♥Diana♥~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my 5 best friends and my mom were in Hilton Head, South Carolina this year for Spring Break and my friends and I stayed up all night and I fell asleep around 6 PM while they were out swimming and i woke up and it was 9 PM.. I thought it was 9 AM and I was like OMG!! LOL, it was so funny!! I thought I slept from 6 PM to 9 AM! I went around asking my friends "Its 9 AM! What are you doing up? You're usually asleep!" theyw ere like "What!?!" LOL!! :o)
2006-06-15 18:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by ,<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This lady was drinking and driving so the police pulled her over to the side of the road and when she got out of her car she mooned them!!!!!!!After she mooned them she said now leave me the hell alone; and got back into her car and drove off!!!
2006-06-15 18:43:01 · answer #5 · answered by [NiSHA P00] 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a-head, and I'll give these two a lift.
2006-06-15 18:40:53 · answer #6 · answered by nemraC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
someone was driving alone in the carpool lane and the cops caught him and asked him if he knew that he couldnt drive alone in the carpool lane. he said " im not alone, god is always with me."
2006-06-15 19:05:52 · answer #7 · answered by rosie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋