Help my 3yr old daughter is scared of black people and she is mix what should i do?

Question

Every time she see's a black person she runs and hides and cries and lets me know there around. She also does not like them looking at her or touching her. when she is in the car she will lock the door if she see's some one coming.

IAM NOT PREJUDICE.REMEMBER MY CHILDS DAD IS BLACK.SO DONT TELL ME THAT I DID SOMETHING WRONG!

AND ABOUT THE LOCKING THE CAR THING I AM IN THERE WITH HER SHE IS NOT BY HERSELF SO YALL NO.

Answer 1

That is learned behavior. Has anything happened to your daughter around black people that would cause her to be afraid of them? Children are usually shy around that age, but not usually out right afraid of people.

Do you have any family that resents the fact you had a relationship with a black person? It is possible they show it.

Answer 2

OK, so her dad is black, is he still around? if the situation is that he is absent from her life and not being a father maybe she has heard you talk about him as a bad person sometimes. You may not have said he is bad because he is black, but she probably knows by now that he was, and at three and with little other exposure all she knows is that she thinks he is bad and they all are. A toddler bases a lot on experience, maybe she saw something on television or real life that frightened her and it's as simple as that.
If this is not the situation than she has had some other negative exposure somewhere, sit her down and talk about the problem, ask her why she is scared and explain to her that people are people no matter what the color. She should be wary of strangers and not talk to them with out you there, but that not everyone is a bad person in any race.

Answer 3

Try to find out where this fear is coming from. At 3, she is too young to become that fearful all of a sudden. It is ok for her to lock the door if a stranger is coming towards the car, but it's not ok just to do it based on skin color. She needs to be around people of all races - have some friends spend some time with her and let her find out that skin color means nothing.

Answer 4

My 3 year old nephew was the same way. It's got kinda embarrassing sometimes because he'd stare, point, and make eeew noises. My sister didn't know what to do. When I asked him why he was doing that he said that they needed to wash the dirt off their skin. Because my sister's ex-husband would forbid my sister to go out and kept her and my nephew locked in the house, he never got a normal exposure to different cultures and races. So, as far as my nephew was concerned, black people's skin was darker because they hadn't washed after playing in dirt. They live with my Dad now and we've been teaching him about different races, skion colors, cultures and the fact theat everyone is very similar in many ways despite some differences. He was also scared at first because most black people would want to touch him or tell him that he was so cute... With all the added exposure and education, he has gotten over that stage and even loves to watch shows he refused to watch before, like Little Bill and Reading Rainbow. My sister was impressed because he was watching Reading Rainbow and got mad when it ended. He ran to her saying, "Mami, the show is over and the man said he was going to tell us about spiders next time... when is next time?" I think your daughter probably had a bad experience and is associating it with a particular person's physical features because it may be what she remembers most. You just need to get her more acquainted to more of her Father's family members, those closer to her and teach her about her culture as well. I don't want to stir up problems, but are the pople in your family supportive of your interracial relationship? Perhaps you daughter was exposed to negative comments or remarks about black people by someone she knows; maybe a classmate (if she's in a child care)? Maybe not. Ask your daughter, because she is hte only one that can tell you what is wrong. All children are different and react differently to many situations. We are from Mexico and where we lived, there were no black people. When a few black people moved into our town, I was about 3 and my sister was 2. There is alot of racism in Hispanic countries and we heard all sorts of bad things from friends and family. But my sister fell in love with them. She started to tell everyone that when she grew up she wanted to be black and have beautiful dark skin so that everyone would notice her and envy her. So, it's all about how your child perceives differences around her... help her and she will see through it. Good Luck and Best Wishes to you all!!!

Answer 5

Maybe just letting her know that they are people too and that their appearance or skin color doesn't make them necessarily scary. I mean if they were blue or purple would that be easier for her as a toddler? Ask her to try to get to know just one person at a time, not pushing her into a large group situation. Having one black person over for dinner and show her your whole family can accept them for the person that they are may help her to feel more secure. Being only three she is going through alot of changes from baby mode to toddler. Be gentle and soft spoken about it. The more harsh or upset you get will cause her even more anxiety towards them and her feelings.

Answer 6

I experienced the same thing with white people. It is just a stage that she might grow out of. She doesn't understand that there are different people in the world now. My daughter hadn't had any real interactions with white people before so when she sees a white woman with blonde hair she is scared and wonders what has happened to them. It is like when you watch those shows about African bush people and a white person goes there to provide aide and even the adults are curious about the way they look. Some want to touch them while others just sort of shy away. People especially kids are not good with dealing with things that are not normal to them. Atleast she doesn't look and laugh when they come along like some kids do to Little People. She will grow out of it when she realizes that the world is full of different looking people. This one white friend of mine told me that when her kids saw their first black person one asked what was wrong with that persons skin color. She then looked at her kid and told them that the black person was dipped in chocolate by GOD when they were a baby so now they are brown. It is sort of a quick fix and you can go into detail about black people and their skin color later in life. For now just say they were dipped in chocolate.

Answer 7

Well, the first thing that comes to mind for me is if anyone has ever hurt or scared her before who was black? Did she know her father? Maybe if the father was mean to her, she is associating that with all black people. Kids don't usually make sense in things like this because they don't have logical thought at that age. I would sit down and talk to her and ask her what is scaring her and let her know that no one is going to hurt her! Maybe slowly introduce her to a family friend or something who is black and let her learn for herself that black people are okay and not going to hurt her!

Answer 8

It sounds like somewhere along the line someone or something frightened her. I would say, as much as you can, try to remove any negative images of blacks she may be exposed to, and surround her with positive images, but don't make a big deal of it because it will only make it stand out more in her mind.

Do try to show her that people are people and that color doesn't matter. Maybe use the different flavors of ice cream as a example. Try taking her to parks where there are children of different races. Once she gets to playing and having fun, color won't matter that much.

Don't make her feel like she's doing something wrong. She's only three and she's reacting out of fear. And If she doesn't want someone touching her, she should have that right. Don't force her to be around people she's uncomfortable with.

Most of all, watch out for what you and others say around her. Kids are like sponges and they listen even when we think they aren't . All in all, I think she will grow out of it.

Answer 9

Space Jam? Basketball? Colored? I would laugh if anyone who thought as simple minded as that would believe they are somehow "superior" to me hahaha...First of all the television show "Cops", has as many whites up there as they do African and Hispanic Americans...Secondly, obviously someone around her is feeding this "fear". There is no simple answers because racism and stereotypes are multi-faceted. I am not going to say that there are not those who feed the stereotypes because they do. Yet people fixate more on those individuals than the individuals like myself...I dont know the solution because you cannot completely eradicate the blatant brainwashing that she is undergoing until you find the source where it all stems from...And for those who provided such "answers" to her problem...I would suggest you step out of your box!

Answer 10

This sounds like fraud. How can a girl get touched if she runs and hides. Your three year old locks the door? Isn't that something that you should've done already? Prejudice starts from the top. Look in the mirror and ask yourself why your 'daughter' is acting like this.