Family Troubles!! How do you tell or prewarn unwanted relatives to NOT come to the birth of your child?

Question

My mom and dad and husband have had a very rough past. They have treated him like he is the dirt on their shoes-and he absolutely isn't! I think they completely envy him for taking me away from them and providing a better life for me. Anyways, there has been no contact with them for a year. We saw them about 2 months ago and my husband didn't want anything to do with them-he doesn't want them to touch or even see or children. I am due in 2 weeks and somehow they have found out that I am dialating and they are supposably going to show up at the hospital! I have no idea how they are finding out this stuff and if they show up...it's not going to be pretty. I don't want this stress! What do I do?????

Answer 1

Just tell them you're going to be stressed as it is and it would be a lot easier if they wouldn't come to the hospital. Tell them you'll bring the baby to them as soon as you get out of the hospital. Or maybe you could tell your husband you're going to be stressed and could he grit his teeth for a bit. You're the one going to be going thru labor and you deserve whatever peace you can get.

Answer 2

It was very wrong of your parents to treat your husband the way they did, but they are your family, forever, and your husband may not be forever though I hope for your sake he is. He can't control your relationship with your family. Set a time aside when your family can come visit, that way your husband can be out getting something to eat or running an errand. If you keep them away they may not try to be involved again and make things even more tense. Honestly, I know you say your husband was treated very wrongly, but from what you say he " took you away to give you a better life" and he doesn't even want your family touching the kids, it sounds like he is trying to control you. Maynot be the case, but it just doesn't sound right.

Answer 3

Call them up and tell them that this is something that you and your husband would like to experience on your own. Just the two of you.
I do think that your husband saying that your family cannot ever see or touch the children you have together is putting you and your family in a bad situation.
I would tell them that you will let them know when the baby is born and when they can visit.

Answer 4

You should talk to your mom and dad and let them know that your husband is # 1 in your life right now,and the way they been treating him is not right and your not trying to be mean or anything, but the birth of you baby is something you and your husband are gonna try to share with out any fights or any bad talk from anyone. And just put it down the way is suppost to be. If you let them know the way you and your husband are feeling, then maybe they will back off........... Good Luck.

Answer 5

I think you and your husband should have a serious talk about this. They are your parents and now they are your child's grandparents. A grandparent is very precious in a child's life...their biggest fan. Tell them they are welcome to come but that there will be no fighting and that all grudges must be put aside because you can't have any stress. If they break the agreement they have to leave. Then you can contact the staff and have signs put up.

Answer 6

Tell your parents that it is a special time for u and your husband and u would like to have that time together to have your baby. Tell them that they fight too much with your husband and u do not need the stress of their bickering. Sometimes it is important just to lay it on the table and let them have it! You want it to be a memorable experience for you and your husband and it should be a special day for the 3 of you. Good luck and best wishes for both of you and your new arrival!

Answer 7

tell the staff at the hospital that you only want certain visitors allowed in to see you. They will use the list of people you give them as a way to determine who can enter and who can not. You can even request that they not be allowed in the hospital whatsoever. They cant release any of your information to them.
If you do talk to them, tell them you want your birth to be calm and quiet; that you only want your mate and select people present, and if they truely care about you or your child, that they will respect your wishes, and stay at a distance until you ask them to get further involved.
Dont feel guilty about it, it is after all your life, and you need to decide what is best for you.

Answer 8

I would simply tell them if they even think about showing up i will have the hospital staff, or sheriffs deputies escort them from the hospital. I bet your husband would probably agree.
If that doesn't work you might want to consider filing a restraining order peace of mind for you, jail for them. But might be expensive. Usually though the hospital staff, if you let them know in advance and show pictures, they will keep them out. tell them you'll send pictures.

Answer 9

I dont know how close you are to your parents at this time. But maybe it would be best to call your parents and talk to them. tell them that you want them to be there only if they promis not to casue probles after all the new baby is the son/daughter of there daughter. And the son/daughter of the babys daddy! I really couldnt emagine having probles like that with my family that must totaly suck. Maybe you should tell your parents how good he really does treat you with some examples. I truley hope this help and BEST LUCK. You really do not need any more added stress

Answer 10

Tell the hospital. They can only allow authorized people to see you. Normally they allow relatives without permission, but you can probably prevent that.

And make sure to invite your parents to see the baby at some point (when your husband isn't around, if necessary). How would *you* feel if you weren't allowed in the life of your grandchild?