hi friends,jokes?

Question

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Girl to hungry boyfriend: If my right leg was afternoon meal & left leg evening meal what would you prefer?
Boyfriend: Eating between meals !!!!

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Nobody is ever satisfied, Poor men wish they were rich, Rich men wish they were handsome, Bachelors wish they were married & Married men wish they were Dead!

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How do you teach a girl maths? Add a bed, subtract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn’t multiply!

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Lady : “I want a good vibrator” Salesman: “Ma’am ! you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall”
Lady : “O.K. I’ll take that red one”
Salesman: “Sorry, that’s our fire-extinguisher”;

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A divorced Couple were contesting for possession of the child. The mother said: “I gave birth to him - he’s mine” The father said: “I put a coin in the pepsi machine and a can comes
out - the pepsi belongs to me! not to the machine !!”

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A girl says to her boyfriend, “One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.”
The guy says ‘thanks for the warning’

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A Husband Was Asked: “Do you talk to your wife after sex?” He replied: “Depends, If I Can find a Phone”

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Definition of a Gynecologist: Someone who looks for problems where others look for pleasure!!!

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Man to wife on wedding night- “Are you sure I’m the first man you are sleeping with?’
“Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!”

Answer 1

hey want to be my friend becuz u rock my email is [e-mail]

Answer 2

Things to do in an elevator:

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, They open up again."

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers, "This is my personal space!"

27.) ask "excuse me, my butt itching, can anyone scratch it for me?" (you are holding things in your two hands)

28.) Turn against the wall and start talking to the wall.

29.) Look at your "invisivle" watch, and take your wrist and ask one of the people "Is this time right?"

30.) Start hummong really loudly like you are meditating "UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

31.) start doing jumping jacks.

32.) Look at your hand and say out load "woooooow, coool" and wave your hand at the people and say "isn't it wow and cool?"

33.) Sit on the floor and close your eyes, and start snoring really loudly.

34.) Look suddenly at the floor of the elevator and start screaming at the "invisible" squirrel.

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Answer 3

datz funny

Answer 4

rofl!!

Answer 5

R.O.T.F.L. :-D