I'm married to an alcoholic, abusive man, he left me 11 months ago. In walks my ideal man, W, he totally respects me, loves me for my brain, etc. We don't have sex. Being around him makes me feel good about myself again. I have newfound confidence! I told my husband that I wanted a divorce, he asked me to give him just one more chance, he sweet talked me and I agreed to give him that chance. I told W what happened in my convo with my husband. He was very sad because he believed that I was finally free of my husband. I told him that it is only a matter of time before my husband hit me again and then it would be ALL over. I was sad, but it would be wrong to not give him this last opportunity. I asked him if he would wait for me and he agreed. We are not bf, gf. I tolded him that we couldn't date until after I'm divorced. A couple of days later, i saw W again and realized that I had made a stupid choice! W agreed to give me another chance. Now he's avoiding me. Help!
2006-06-15 10:18:46 · 15 answers · asked by davidswiphey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How many times are you going to post this same stupid-assed question?
2006-06-15 10:21:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all why did you even give your husband a chance when you were just waiting for him to hit you again so you can get a divorce? You could have done that the first time.... you have the guy whom you loved and well you messed it up for yourself now! You dumped him and than on top of that you asked him if he would stick around to see when your husband hits you again so you can file for a divorce! That's called using a person! He agreed to wait cuz he didn't want to hurt you and he is avoiding you is cuz he is hurt and feels used! You wanted to have one leg in France and the other in China.... it doesn't work that way!!
2006-06-15 17:26:22 · answer #2 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband who is an alcholic and abusive person was given every chance in the world not to hurt you. He left you and then came back and took your dignity. Find it again by leaving him. Get a restraining order if necessary to protect yourself from your soon to be ex. Get that divorce finalized. Show W that you have taken the first step to a whole new life by example. He may not come back to you, but it is better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone (like your abusive husband) for all the wrong ones. If W truly loves you, however, he may come back to you on his own.
2006-06-15 17:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by elcasey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would give a man ANOTHER chance to beat you up? Wow! Leave that fool alone and take a chance with the man that is probably better for you. He is only avoiding you because he is scared now and that's your fault. Leave him alone until you file your divorce and take him a copy of the filing, he will warm back up to you. W is going to need to be reassured that you are not going to break bad on him again. That's all.
2006-06-15 17:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a jam huh? I hope your husband doenst hit you and I hope this W guy comes back, and I hope he treats you good. Maybe he is avoiding you to give you your wish so you can give your husband another (undeserved) chance. If you really want rid of the drunk the get rid of him and go find W and talk to him. If he is a good man, he will understand your confusion and be there for you with open arms. You will be fine I just know it. Hang in there. (smile)
2006-06-15 17:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by Fergy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did make a very HUGE mistake. You were right to leave your ex. You found someone to help you get your confidence back. Great!. Then you go back to being with your ex, knowing that it will probably happen. NO< definitely know it will happen again. And, gee, will W be kind enough to put his life on hold until you make a decision. It is kind of wishy washy. Make up your mind and soon. Stop playing games with W's heart.
2006-06-15 17:25:41 · answer #6 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one, divorce your husband!!!!
He's an abusive man and no one has the right to hit you!
You told W that you couldn't date him until after you were divorced, and you obviously aren't in love with your husband, so why the heck are you with him?
Maybe W is worried that if he shows how much he loves you again, you'll reject him agian because you're still with your husband.
2006-06-15 17:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... like my bf's mom, just let go of your abusive husband... i mean... if you know that he only hurts you, then why stick with him? that's just like hurrting yourself... and if you have kids, it will only affect them badly in the long run...
i suggest for you to just talk to W and tell him sorry and that you really want to be with him. tell him to have patience in you for a while longer... and do get the divorce... no matter what your husband says.
If an ant bit you, would you let it bite you again? Coz i'd kill it right then and there.
2006-06-15 17:24:40 · answer #8 · answered by Miss M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have never played with this mans feelings you should have told him from the door what was what, there isnt anything anyone can do for you you just have to wait and find out what he is going to do, maybe he needs time to think, give him time, hes probably thinking that you are gonna go back and forth
2006-06-15 17:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by jayrok027 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you seriously prepared to sit around unhappy, just waiting for your husband to smack you around so u could officially leave him? That is so sad, what a waste of time. You could have spent that time being happy.
2006-06-15 17:25:04 · answer #10 · answered by May 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't have gone back with the acholic husband cause like "W" said it's only a matter of time before he hurts you again..he's avoiding you cause he is probably mad that you choose your husband over him and he's hurt so give him sometime and he should come around.
2006-06-15 17:24:54 · answer #11 · answered by Vicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋