In a 4 way death match, Chuck Norris, Splinter from TMNT, Austin Powers and Kip from Napolean Dynamite.?

Question

Who wins and how does it go down?

Answer 1

Splinter wins, but it's an odd match. First, they start with 2-on-2, with Splinter and Chuck Norris taking out Austin and Kip. Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicks Kip, which is the end of Kip as we know him. Austin is confusing the heck out of Splinter, who doesn't quite know what to do with him and is completely disgusted by the teeth. Splinter is trying to explain that he has no reason to fight Austin, who says "Yeah Baby!" and so they keep circling warily.

That's when things get weird. Splinter finally gets tired of Austin's shag-talk and takes him out with a few well-placed karate chops, sending Austin back in time (where he belongs), where women don't get offended by his horrifying manner of treating them. That leaves Chuck and Splinter, who begin to face off, and it's shaping up to be a *real* battle, an *interesting* battle...

But then in comes a *very* angry LaFawnduh Lucas (Kip's widow) onto the scene. She's angry, and that in and of itself wouldn't hurt Chuck Norris, except that she has the law on her side. Seems that Norris, Splinter, Austin, and Kip never got the proper permits for this fight, believe it or not, so it's off to the slammer for poor Chuck. He doesn't want to take out legitimate lawmen, so he goes peaceably, vowing to trust the legal system.

Why don't the police arrest Splinter? He's a friggin' giant rat, and they don't want him in their car. It's that simple--most of the police don't even believe he exists even while they're staring at him. The one who suggests an exterminator is quickly dragged into the car by his buddies, and they all drive away (with Norris in the backseat).

Of course, this leaves Splinter, who takes the opportunity to put the audience to sleep with some "moral of the story," but honestly, I wasn't listening at that point.

Answer 2

first Chuck Norris would beat the hell out of Splinter then eat his guts and say tastes just like chicken. Just then Austin Powers would pull soon groovy moves kill Norris. Next Kip would bore Powers to death and Kip would win

Answer 3

Kip's bike gets a flat tire on the way to the fight so he doesn't even make it. While Austin Powers is freaking out that there is a giant talking rat next to him (he freaked out about a mole, so come on), Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks. He misses, but the shockwaves kill Splinter, Powers, and even Kip who's sitting at home talking to hot chicks on the internet.

Answer 4

Chuck Norris eats Kip after dumping a bottle of benzine on Splinter (who melts). Austin Powers attempts to rip Chuck Norris's face off (to prove he ain't a Man Baby), and Chuck snaps his limely leisure-suite ruffled neck like brittle twig. Unfortunately, because he has consumed Kip, Chuck Norris becomes intensely boring, falls asleep lands face first and drowns in the puddle of Splinter.

So I guess no one wins.

Answer 5

Austin Powers...

Splinter backs down out of pure love for the amazing cheesiness of Austin,

Kip is distracted by Austin's groovy chicks offering their numbers and is too dazzled to fight,

Chuck Norris was really tired from his latest infomercial and was easily dispatched by Austin's top-spy moves.

Answer 6

MY own FAVOURITES in case you have $5 and Chuck Noris has $5, Chuck Norris has greater funds than you. there is not any 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's pc. Chuck Norris is often on top of issues. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because of the fact he purely recognizes the element to marvel. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - two times. Chuck Norris is so quickly, he can run worldwide huge and punch himself interior the decrease back of the top. while Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris doesn’t positioned on a watch, HE comes to a decision what time it is. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris would not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Chuck Norris can win a interest of connect 4 in basically 3 strikes. What became going during the minds of all of Chuck Norris' sufferers earlier they died? His shoe. Chuck Norris is the only guy to ever defeat a brick wall in a interest of tennis. Chuck Norris as quickly as challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has greater testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris gained by 5. Time waits for no guy. except that guy is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris as quickly as shot down a German fighter airplane together with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Answer 7

CHUCK NORRIS is a 7 time world Karate champion and would kill them all.

Each fight would end the same with CHUCK ripping there heads off one by one then he would leave with Austin Powers Bitches

Answer 8

Count 1 to 10... That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill 'em all... 47 times...

Answer 9

Splinter. That is one bad a** rat. He constantly beats the "Shredder" (lol) and was able to train four turtles in ninjitsu.

How can you beat that?

Answer 10

Splinter...he trained the TNMT...that means he actually got them at some ponit to pay attention to him andl learn..if he did that he can do anything