A joke for the Paddy's. (I got it off a website that someone had suggeted so DONT BLAME ME!)?

Question

These three English guys are out drinking one night and decide that they want to have a fight. They stagger from pub to pub looking for a likely victim to pick on when they come across a single Irishman in this one bar.

"Watch this." Says the first Englishman, heading over toward the guy, "I hear that St Patrick was a shirt lifter."

"Really." Says the Irishman, calmly continuing to drink.

With that the second English guy decides to join in, "Yeah, and I hear he was a pervert too."

"Is that so?" the still calm Irishman responds.

"I know how to rile this tosser." Says the third Englishman, staggering toward the Irishman, "Hey, did you know St Patrick was really an Englishman?"

The Irish guy casually looks up and says, "Yeah, so your mates were telling me."

Answer 1

I'm still feeling bitter over the fact were not in the world cup, this one brought a smile to my face,

It is just before the England v Brazil semi final. Ronaldinho goes
into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know
it's important but it's only England. They're sh*te and we can't be
bothered."

Ronaldinho looks at them and says, "Well, I reckon I can beat
them by myself-you lads go down the pub."

So Ronaldinho goes out to play England by himself and the rest
of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.

After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get
the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the
screen reads "Brazil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)". He
is beating England all by himself!

Anyway, a few pints later and the game is forgotten until
someone remembers, "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on."
They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium 'Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - England 1 (Lampard 89 minutes)."

They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against
England!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They
find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"


"No, no, I have, I've let you down...I got sent off after 12 minutes."

Answer 2

And........


The Last Laugh

There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1. To be shot.
2. To be hung.
3. To be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. So the

German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Bang! (he was dead instantly).

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."

They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing.

The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did.

Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid..... I'm wearing a condom."

Answer 3

I blame u for that as its totally offensive 2 english people

Answer 4

Im Irish so I gets thats a complement so I'm smart :)

Answer 5

I liked it. Quite long but the punchline makes it worthwhile.
Thanks for the laugh.

Answer 6

nice one. i'm irish and so that joke went down with my family. except for my english granddad and mom who just looked insulted. well worth it, though. are u irish?

Answer 7

I blame you for this stupid joke or what ever you call it.

Answer 8

I'm sorry I don't get it. God, I am soo dumb. Can I have ten Points?!?

Answer 9

Whats a "PADDY"...By the way are you realy a racist????

Answer 10

ha ha !