being the other woman?

Question

I have had a crush/infatuation for a man I work with for over 5 years.....the last 2 1/2 we have worked more closely together. I knew he had been living with someone for 4-5 years....and never thought we would go further than simple hugs and flirting at work. I suspected that I loved him. Recently on a week long business trip....we took the flirting to physical. I spent the night in his hotel room. Now at work we have stollen physical moments of kissing and touching....but nothing more than that. I mean no plans to get together outside of work or talk of how he feels about me. I know I love him. I never planned on being in this position, but I can't help that I love him....I know it is stupid cause how could I ever trust him when he is cheating on his girlfriend with me. It is hard to stop my heart even though my head knows better. I feel drawn to him.....can't help it. Can someone give me some advice that isn't the obvious....run....or stop or cut him off?

Answer 1

dont forget you also put your job at risk.. you need to talk with him and let him know how you feel. let him know exactly what you have said here.

Answer 2

It is a sad situation that you have allowed yourself to become in,because feelings do develop,but at the same time it is up to you on how far you allowed the feelings to take you in this affair of flirtation.It is not just him that can not be trusted here,it is also you too.You knowingly knew that her had someone else and you still proceeded without caution,it takes two to tango.You are right,he probably won't be faithful to you either,but because of your actions towards what you did to this other lady,it will come back around when it is your turn.I don't want you to think that i am being mean from my statements,however i just want you to understand that whatever anyone does or chooses to do in their actions,there is always a price to pay for in the end.I hate that you have allowed yourself to be used by him,this what he is doing if he hasn't came out of the closet with this to his mate,so this tells me that he doesn't love you,or he would of done so to be with only you.I know you don't want to hear this,But you definitely need to move on,there are other men out there that are available.You made the statement of being the other woman,well who knows how many others there might be?You are robbing yourself from finding true love and happiness for your future.Best wishes to you,i hope you can see the light in all this before going any further than you already have,don't be anyone's pawn or puppet!Good Luck!

Answer 3

You have allowed yourself to "fall in love" with a committed man. Aside from the obvious fact that he's not faithful, you yourself have shown that you have no respect for a committed relationship as well. This doesn't make you a bad person, but you have to extract yourself from the relationship eventually. You will hopefully learn that flirting will get you into trouble. My advice is to have play out the affair until it dies off. First you have some questions: 1) Was just playing around or does he really want you? 2) Is he willing to leave his old GF? 3) Is he racked with guilt? Typically first time cheaters are racked with guilt initially. Then they get over that and cheat again. Eventually cheating becomes common place. Get some protection and have as much sex as you can stand with him. That way the relationship will play itself out. Who knows you might have a happy ending...but I doubt it. Don't get pregnant and pray that you learn from the whole situation? Read the book Condoms, Bras and Straightjackets by Charles A. Becker. It covers this type of situation. Good Luck

Answer 4

The only advice someone could tell you other than what you already know you need to do would be bold faced lies. I see you revamped your question because of the responses you received previously and anyone who told you to leave him alone the first time, told you all you need to know.

It doesn't matter how you feel about him because there is another woman in his life and heart and home that feels the same way and she is entitled to those feelings, you are an intruder and a homewrecker.

Please stop doing this to that woman, she does not deserve that and you do not deserve to have half a man. Leave him alone.

Otherwise, stay with him and wait for the woman to find out and then she will kick your a** and she should.

Answer 5

Understanding Being the other *****!!!

I was the other *****, the ***** who was the other chick. Caught up in some ****, I knew was bullshit, but hey what can I say, I was the other chick, the chick the ****** love to **** wit. Who am I, I’ am the one the bitches can’t **** wit, the one they can’t stand, because they man spending every change wit me. The chick he spends his money with, the chick he will be wit all the time, morning noon, and night.
Who am I, I’m other *****, the ***** the love to hate, the one they really want to be like, why because they’re not getting all their man time. So tell me what u think about being the other chick, me its nothing, because one day, you to will be the other chick, and u know what I’m talking about. Being the other chick is what happening in the world today, why I say this, is because every man, and every woman have an better half to them, and he or she will never let u know it until the very end, so I say this to u if u are going to be the other *****, be the best damn other ***** out there……LMAO

Answer 6

Hello, I'm only speaking from experience. If your going to continue to be with him, then you need to deattached yourself from him. No, kissing is what i mean. See we are emotional creatures and men are mental. It's hard especially when love has come into play, but try it and see what happens. I'm doing it now and I know that he is married but separated. Him and i have a good thing going right now and i love it. I'll put it this way. Kiss when you want to kiss and when you don't then don't. Let him know or think your in control and that you have your feelings and emotions under control. I'll say this sometimes love isn't enough and if you want your heart guarded and safe then play it close and safe and watch what you do and not what he does and says. continue to be that freak in bed or continue to blow his mind. if you want him to continue to come back then girlfriend you know what you have to do. Play the game, cause you already know he has someone or is living with someone. I hope this helps. I am just speaking from experience.

Answer 7

Cut him off NOW.

If he ends up ditching his g/f for you, you will ALWAYS have a trust issue with him. If he could do this to his present g/f, most likely he'll do it to you too. Plus, you should know that KARMA do exist, what goes around comes around, OK?

So cut him off NOW unless you know for sure you are not going to end up with him and would like to keep him around as a "boy toy" only and will NEVER EVER get serious with him. But judging from what you said I think it's too late b/c you already have strong feelings for him. So yea, CUT HIM OFF NOW! Look for a new job if you can. Having a romantic relship with someone at work is a big mistake, didn't you know that? There's too much at stake if it doesn't work out.

Answer 8

If you want him, go after him. Go on a weekend trip with him. He can tell his girlfriend whatever he wants. He may decide to choose you.

It is possible for him to cheat on his girlfriend and then be completely faithful to you. Here's an extreme example. Say his girlfriend is a total psycho. She's ruining his life. Before he breaks up with her, he falls in love with you. Does that make him a bad guy? In other words, maybe he made a mistake with her, and you are the one for him.

Just keep your eyes and ears open. If he's player, then you should find out as soon as possible.

Good luck and good hunting.

Answer 9

You don't want the obvious answer, but that's exactly what you need to do. Stop living in la la land. I doubt he loves you back, he is probably just excited to get something from someone different. U R being used, it's not nice, it's not pretty. The only one who can fix this is you, by having enough respect for yourself to say that you deserve better.

Answer 10

This won't end good. It rarely ever does...and unlike a bad breakup, you'll still have to see this guy again every day Mon - Fri.

See if you can both come to an agreement to stop, at least that way it's a friendly end and it won't be so difficult in the future.

Answer 11

Don't be the other woman. It will hurt you and his GF. If you like him that much and would like to continue the relationship to another level, just make sure that you won't hurt anyone else because of it. You wouldn't like it either if your BF cheats on you and continues doing it. Clear the air, ask if he's still with his GF/partner and whether or not you guys want to be together. Don't torcher yourself, just ask and take things slowly.