OK so , me and this girl from school like each other alot and have been going out for 6 months. The one problem is we are 14 and she is not allowed to date until she is 16. She didnt care at first and dated me enyway without telling her parents. However, a week ago we got caught kissing at a party by a parent who told her parents. They had a long talk with her and told her they didnt trust her enymore. This sadend her so much she told me she didnt want to continue. Now shes told me she cant stop thinking aobut me and is finding this really hard but dosnt see how we could work out and thinks we should be just friends and meet other people. Its summer break now so i wont see her for 3 more months and not being her boyfriend i cant meet up with her either and if i did we would be as friends. SO i am very depressed and sad right now and dont know what to do because i feel my heart has snapped and feel like dirt to her bc she dosnt wanna fight for me. What do i do wait for 16? i love her.
2006-06-15 08:45:32 · 29 answers · asked by Joe K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I feel so sorry for you both. You are young but it sounds like your feelings are strong and genuine. Her parents are being unreasonable. You were not doing anything wrong.
Meet up with your girl as a friend and discuss what she feels in her heart and what she wants to do.
If she is as in love with you as you are with her then maybe you should talk to her parents. Apologise that you broke their rules and ask if you may see their daughter initially as a friend, they might understand, they were young once too! If they see how happy and in love you are together and that you have a genuine commitment, they may well relent but this may take some time.
Don't give up, be strong. Let your love give you the hope and the courage to do what you have to do.
Don't listen to some of the others who have posted here who say that you are too young to be in love. That is simply not true if you believe you are in love, then you are in love. A first love is a very important part of everyone's development and it comes to each person at a different time. I am now 23, I first fell in love when I was 12. Love does not always lead to a realtionship, there are many different kinds of love. Each time I fell in love from when I was 12, I experienced a deeper level of the emotion of love but that does not mean that my first love was not true love.
2006-06-16 04:58:15 · answer #1 · answered by Fluorescent 4 · 11⤊ 3⤋
Man I'm going to be 35 next week. I can tell you that I had a very similar situation when I was a kid. Her parents wouldn't let her date til she was 16 and then they would only let her date a mormon.
This of course was many many years ago. I do understand how you are feeling and i recall all those emotions that I had many years ago. Reading this story has reminded me of this young girl i knew so long ago.
As someone who survived male adolescence and a similar situation, here's my advice for you:
1. realize that there are indeed many other girls that you can date from your school and that you could be happy with one of them after you take a little bit of time to get over this one;
2. realize that you are young, 14 is quite a long way to go, you are going to have several, probably many many girlfriends, dates, and other opportunities to find the right girl
3. realize that unlike my situation, the girl CAN date once she reaches the age of 16, sooooooooo, while you don't have to wait for her, the two of you might start up later on, in the meantime, don't get all caught up in the whole "i need to have a girlfriend" thing, just go on dates and enjoy the company of your friends and see if you can't find something in common with a different girl
4. realize that you are inexperienced at dating, and that loss and grieving and breaking up are all part of the crazy crazy world of dating, the pain you feel right now feels really bad, like it won't ever go away, but in time, it does fade into the background
5. try to concentrate on the idea that you CAN still be friends with her, you CAN still see her at school and at outings, and maybe you two can still talk via phone or email for the time being
6. exercise is good for alleviating depression, so play some ball, go for a run or walk, do some biking, whatever
2006-06-15 08:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by whoisgod71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have developed some pretty deep feelings at such a young age. However, I remember having similar feelings as you, and on more than one occasion.
There is no easy answer to make the pain go away, but I would suggest that you try to find a focus outside of your thoughts about this girl. Steeping yourself in your pain is taking you to some pretty low places emotionally, and remaining upset and depressed won't make the situation change. Is there an adult you feel comfortable speaking with? A school counselor, perhaps, or an uncle, an aunt, a grandparent...maybe a pastor?
You may not be able to change what has happened, but you can equip yourself to handle the problem better. Don't wait...get some help if you can't pull out of this by yourself.
2006-06-15 09:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by steves_wifey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go about your life like a normal boy and do things boys do. Her parents are just trying to protect her and you have to respect them for that. Prove you are worthy of their daughter's affections once you take a little time to yourself by being a good friend. You might even want to try talking to the parents to see if you could still take her out with them or a chaperone present or in larger supervised groups. If you truly love her, you will go the distance. Since you're only 14, it won't be the only love you'll ever feel. And years from now when you're all grown up, you might realize it wasn't really love at all. Only you will know that. It's not that she's not fighting for you. She wants to do right by her folks, and at this age, living under their roof, that is absolutely what she should do. You've got so much life left to live and so much to look forward to. Kids these days are just like my generation...in such a rush to be all grown up. Enjoy being teenagers. I sure wish I had!
2006-06-15 08:51:58 · answer #4 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That has to be the sweetest thing I've ever heard!!!! It is pretty messed up though that she didn't stand up for you . You should move on and date other girls that won't make you feel like dirt. You may not want to right now but give yourself some time to move on. There is no sense in thinking about her and how great it would be together because it's time to realize she may not want to get back with you. So focus on the hear and now and have some fun!!!! It's summer break and anything is possible!!!!:)
2006-06-15 08:54:29 · answer #5 · answered by Breanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up kid, you are only 16 believe it or not the world does not really revolve around being with someone you need to find your contentment inside before you branch out and be in love love will come at the time it is supposed to enjoy the years before getting serious go to church read the bible volunteer make someone else happy for a day give of yourself to to others help around the house when you stay busy doing for others you do not have time to mope around she should not disobey her parents nor should you love is good but it is not the right time for you i will be praying for you get busy and enjoy the life God has given you enjoy the present past is gone and tomorrow is promised to no one
2006-06-15 08:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by jk poet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably not what you want to hear , but, If you really love her then wait. You are only 14, you are so young. When things like this happen it seems like it's the end of the world, but it's not. These things hurt, but eventually the pain goes away.
Enjoy your summer and take things day by day, it'll be better each day. Cherish your memories with her and accept her decision to stay away, it's not that she wont fight for you, c'mon it's about her loyalty to her parents, they provide for her, you wouldnt or couldnt at this stage of your life.
Think possitive !!!! Be happy for her, show her that you do love her by supporting her decission. Be the best person you can be , not for her, but for yourself.
2006-06-15 08:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by wonderwoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you both should have respected her parents wishes and wait. She cant date any other person over the summer cause she will not be 16 yet. You guys could still hang out as friends. Do what you guys use to do, but no kissing.
2006-06-15 08:52:35 · answer #8 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 14. It may seem trivial now but there is so much more to look forward to. If you do love her than you will be willing to be her friend until then. There is nothing wrong with being friends. Its not that she doesnt want to fight for you. Shes 14!!! Im sure that no matter what she says to her parents its going to be the same with you or someone else.
2006-06-15 08:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by chasity g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude...I'm tellin ya...yeah, I know you're young and it's hurting right now. Time heals everything...You can't blame the girl for respecting her parents wishes. Afterall, they are the ones taking care of her...Should you wait until she's 16?? I mean, yeah...If you wanted to...but take it from an adult...by the time 2 yrs pass you're gonna be soooo over this situation and you will have moved on to many other girls...It may not seem this way now, but trust me....So young, so young....You've ONLY just begun....
2006-06-15 09:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by mesofemme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll be good dont worry, maybe during the summewr she' ll realize she miss you and come back, but you also need to understand her that her parenst come first than any other boy, is something that she needs to respect. Theres a saying, If it was your, it'll come back. And if that doesnt work then you deserbve someone better. Your young still go out and have fun, she's not the only hot girl out there you know!!! lol
2006-06-15 08:49:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋