I'm a single mum, and I have to work full time to pay bills and such. I cant move away from my parents at the moment, and my mum looks after her in the week. Every time I do something my parents dont like, or ask them not to do something, I end up in a huge arguement, They take her off of me, and when she is hurt, they push me out of their way. Whenever I have treid to speak with them they go nuts and make me feel guilty because they know best. My little sister has decided that she is her mum, and not me, they just dont let me get in edgeways. I am at the end of my tether and realy dont know what to do. Any ideas?
2006-06-15 08:43:34 · 13 answers · asked by mookie 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I'm 21, and dont have the money to move out yet. I've been trying to get a place since she was born but I cant find anything suitable.
I dont have any problems looking after her, but I dont seem to be allowed to make any decisions.
2006-06-15 08:55:33 · update #1
Your parents obviously love you and love your daughter. They have lots of experience so they probably DO know what's best much of the time.
That being said, you have to get out on your own. I know money is a problem, but start planning, saving and working towards the day when you can be on your own.
Until then, let them use their own judgment when you are away from home. When you come home, take charge. Do everything for your daughter from the moment you step in the door. Not only is this good practice for when you move out, it will get the respect of your parents. If you are on top of any problem when it happens, they won't have the chance to come to the rescue very often.
2006-06-15 10:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by crgrier 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mom and dad and say that you dont like the way that they are not letting you make decisions and that YOUR the mom not her and say that you want to make descisions too and try to move VERY soon and when you do your parents are going to be mad and keep you from taking the children so take them to the new house and show them have a friend watch them and tell your parents they WILL be mad. so tell them you need to make choices now. when you tell the kids that this isd their home they will probably be mad and yell I HATE YOU in some cases let them sulk. DONT be strict they will NOT except you as the mom if this happens leave them alone have paitents and also tell them how hard it is to do the bills and everything and how your a single mom. I hope this helps!!!
to save more money put in 20 dollars a day in a jar no matter how much money you have 20 DOLLARS straight soon youll be having a house in no time!! i think you should get a husband too.
2006-06-15 19:07:54 · answer #2 · answered by Peaches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And where is the single father? Is it helping with regular payments for child support? Why not? If he were, you would have a bit more time to spend with your daughter. If you don't have a court order for child support, get one and make sure you have that money coming in. Consider getting your own apartment and moving out, then you will have all the say. I'm sure you could find some sort of day care situation to cover the time you are at work. You also might contact your local welfare office to get some temporary help with things while you get on your feet. If you don't have a good job skill for example, perhaps they can get you into classes for a while. Good luck with it.
2006-06-15 15:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by oklatom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you've already let it go to far... i had a similar problem i had my son when i was 16, i busted my buns getting a job to pay bills and care for him i still lived with my parents at the time, and my mom was the same way she never let me do what I wanted with my own kid. So i put my name on low income housing and hud housing, i toughed it out while i lived there and after about 18 months of waiting i got my own place and it was low income so i could afford it..... things were much better after that. You should look into the state homes in your area and see what you can do.
After i lived there for about 2 years i got married and moved out into a nice house and had 2 more children... things have never been better... and my mom is actually a grandma now not a wanna be mom to my kid.
2006-06-15 15:48:54 · answer #4 · answered by busy mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go for the fight every time. Yes, they're doing the favor of helping you out and caring for your daughter while you're at work. But she is YOUR daughter. Do everything in your power to make them understand that. Maybe when you aren't working, you should take your child out of the house as much as possible without them. Your daughter will be able to see you as her mother without the outside interference of your family. And your family will get the point that you and your daughter are a separate family unit and they are the extended family.
2006-06-15 17:43:32 · answer #5 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez, they sound horrible!
Are you sure you have no other alternative? It doesn't sound like a totally healthy environment to me, is that how you want your daughter ot learn, the people you want influencing her????
I would call around to local agencies that might be able to help. Keep asking until someone does help. The health unit, her doctor, social agencies, anyone (maybe even a lawyer).
Pray. That is such a tough situation, I think only God can help you. Maybe he can send some good friends your way, that can help you out.
2006-06-15 15:50:02 · answer #6 · answered by canadianrobynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I went through it too. The best thing to do is grit your teeth, work hard, save money, and get the hell out of there. Grandparents can be so overbearing, I say also pick your fights wisely. If they want her to wear certain clothes, let them, fight only the most important things, religon and such. Good luck.
2006-06-15 15:47:57 · answer #7 · answered by Celesta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your parents that while they watch your child. The ultimate decision in any case is yours. If you don't put your foot down they could claim child neglect. Sadly they sound obssesive, how old are you to begin with?
2006-06-15 15:48:19 · answer #8 · answered by WDubsW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit them down and tell them you are grateful that they are helping you, but you are the Mom. And then start looking harder for a place to live so that you and your child can live alone
2006-06-15 16:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out there are programs everywhere that will help single mothers get their own place, get childcare, get a job and start over.
2006-06-15 17:49:25 · answer #10 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋