Is "the rules, caputuring the heart of Mr. Right" book good or bad for the heart?

Question

I broke up with my ex boyfriend (a Carrie and Mr.Big type of relationship) two years ago. Soon after, I read the rules book and thought it was great and adapted to the rules, in the hope of finding the one not getting heart broken again. To be frank, I do get alot of genuine attention from guys. But since then, I haven't fallen in love. Could my ex be my lost soulmate? Or do I need to quit the mind games and be my open minded self again to find the true one?

Answer 1

First of all you will probably find love again. Second, "The Rules" and they are great. They are all about respecting yourself and when you respect yourself, you will find true love. For example, one of the rules says "Don't accept a Saturday night day after Wednesday." If a man is really into you, he will ask you out in advance. It is disrespectful for a man to wait untill the last minute to ask you out for a date. Furthermore a woman should have more self respect than to accept a date so late in the week. The rules are also about having a life, not being at a man's beck and call, and letting him know how it feels to miss you.
The Rules is one of the best books on dating that I have read. It teaches you to not take any bs. One other book that I would recommend is "He's just not that into you" which has a dating philosophy like that in The Rules.

Answer 2

There's a lot to be said for being an exclusive, confident woman who makes a guy chase her

Your problem seems to be that you have not found anyone who inspires in you to the same depth of emotion as your ex did, yet.

What's interesting is that you start your question about this relationship, then mention the book and ask whether the tactics work.

Reading between the lines you are still hankering after your Mr. Big and the reason you are not connecting emotionally with the men who are interested in you is either

1) you are still in love with your ex
or
2) what you label "love" is really the pain of longing and rejection that comes with the type of relationship that you do not get if you follow the rules. Because following the rules puts you in the position of chased rather than the chaser.

Don't confuse love with pain. Just get out, enjoy life and eventually you'll meet someone who'll break your heart again ;-) oops I mean someone who'll feel right

Answer 3

I've read that book. Basically, all you have to do is stay busy, stay naturally positive and happy with life (it can always be worse than it is right now!).

Let men have to justify your time and energy. I'm a man and generally speaking, I'm less interested in continuing to see a woman who is always available to me. I enjoy the feeling of missing a woman, because she's busy from time to time with her own life. A woman with a life is an attractive quality.

No need to follow the book at all.

How long would you be attracted to a man who was just your little puppy dog always there for you no matter how nice/nasty you treat him? You would begin to lose respect.

Ultimately,it's just basic human nature to be attracted to something that is on occasions just a little bit out of reach. Like expensive champagne or Gucci shoes.

Btw, I think that you can have several soulmates in your life over a period of time, rather than 1 in 75 years.