Christians: how do you deal with being arounf people who gossip without getting into it yourself?

Question

at work and around some friends, and some of my unsaved family, i am consistantly exposed to gossip. before i gave my heart to Jesus i saw no problem with it... now i hate it, but sometimes i find it hard to separate from. What do you do when people around you are gossiping or asking you your opinion on a gossip induced matter?

okay, so getting new friends, but these people need Jesus, ans im not giving up on them just because they gossip! im there only Christian influence, and we face gossip everyday, everywhere, so apart from ditching gossipers, coz u cant always, like when they are ur family, what to u do?

pinky: not at all, but a part of being Christian, involves not gossiping, and i dont want to do it, its not right, so, im not saying were perfect, im saying im trying to do the right thing, and i want to know how fellow Christians handle it. its nothing against people who arent Christian, its something i choose to try and not be involved in.

Sati: im sorry that that is what u got from my question. i wasnt implying at all that Christians dont gossip, but i already know how to handle that. i can simply say "okay lets stop gossiping now" and they stop, coz they know its wrong, and they respect my request... but with non-believers its harder coz they dont really see it as wrong, they see it as natural and why not? so im asking about them coz in not sure.

Answer 1

For me it all depends upon who the people are who are gossiping. When I used to work in a secular environment I would just remember to not join in, or if someone asked me what I thought I would just straight up tell them that as a Christian it wasn't my place to judge someone else and I wasn't going to engage in the sin of gossiping. Or I might say something like "You know, it's not cool to talk about a person behind their back. You wouldn't like it if we were talking trash about you would you?".

If the circumstances permit it, the best way to avoid having people try to get you to join them in gossiping is to invite them to pray with you for the person they're talking about. If you make a habit of doing this they will stop coming to you with gossip or they'll repent of this sin as the Holy Spirit convicts them.

Answer 2

Well, I know it's hard, but try not to get too involved with people that gossip all the time. Still be friends with them though. When people start to gossip you can do one of many things. You could just walk away. However, if they gossip often, you might never get to spend time with them. You could always change the subject. If they start gossiping about Cindy the new girl at work, change the conversation over to the T.V. show you watched last night. It might seem a little aqured at first, but it will show everyone that you do not want to gossip about others. Another thing you could do is ask them to stop. Just kindly say something along the lines of, "Hey, guys, I don't think it is right to talk about people when they aren't present. Can we please talk about something else?" If they don't stop, then it might be time to find some new friends. They should respect your opinion if they are true, loyal friends! Also, if someone starts gossiping about Cindy (just for sake of example), and they say she has really big teeth, then you could say something nice about her. Like "But I really liked her shirt, didn't you?" This will turn the conversation away from gossip to saying things you liked about someone (doing this is a good thing).

I hope this helped!

Answer 3

You know, that's a good question. I must confess that I can get caught up in gossip with my friends. I sense, deep down, that it's wrong, but I just forget for a while and gossip away. Later, I feel guilty, but I don't know what to do. I guess I can only pray that I will avoid it next time and try my hardest not to. Yes, prayer is the best thing, sweetie. I think that is the only thing you can do when you try your hardest not to do it, and then do it.

Thank you for asking this question, because it has made me think about being less of a gossiper. I haven't thought of my problem in a while, but your question brought it up in my mind again. I may not have the best answer for you sweetie, but I thank you for helping ME by asking this question. I wish I could give you my two points!! You deserve them more than me!

Thanks again, girly!!

Answer 4

We are only responsible for our own actions and behavior. If you are around people that are gossiping and are not believers, just love them and try to see past their behavior to their need for Christ. If they are believers I would tell them that it bothers you when they do that. Or you could just walk away and be with another group of people. You aren't responsible for them, only yourself.

The thing that is a bad consequence of gossip is that it hurts other people's reputation. Once that is done it causes a big mess. I have had times where I have been in the company of gossips and when then started in on their stories, I got up and left the room. When I came back they had move on to another topic that wasn't gossip. I'm not big on confronting people, but sometimes it is more healthy for me to not listen to it.

Answer 5

I find that if you simply just remove yourself from the conversation or politely change the subject this will tend to do the trick. However, if I'm around friends that are believers I find that letting them know the conversation has gone down that road usually puts a hault to the topic. Stand up for yourself, you don't have to be involved in it. I know I don't like hearing gossip. It puts images of others into my head that I don't want and the next time I see that person whatever I heard about them comes to mind.

With my ex-coworkers I would usually say, "This is my cue to leave," and exit the breakroom. You don't have to be in that enviroment if you don't want to. If they ask why you can just explain to them that you don't want to be involved in the conversation and it's hurtful to others.

Answer 6

Feel free to fight fire with fire... meaning since you are the only Christian influence engage in the gossip with Bible verses, like did you know that they talked about Jesus Christ as if he was a blasphemous and said he was one with the demon because Jesus cast demons out of people who was possessed, then you will be engaging the hearers to learn about our Lord and Savior. That's what i do in my beauty salon job, as we all know the in hair salon is where the word gossip gets the most action and this is how I battle gossip "with the Gospel of Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John." May God equip you with the words of spiritual wisdom.

Answer 7

You're hilarious ! What has being a Christian have to do with anything? Instead of just answering "I don't have an opinion one way or the other ", what are you going to do? Tell them God doesn't like this kind of talk ?

Just stay out of it. Simple. Oh, by the way, don't pass the gossip on.

Answer 8

Oftentimes, I slip up and join in, but I ask God to forgive me and help me fight the temptation to gossip along with the people. With God's strength, I am able to see the sin in gossip and tell those around me to stop talking about people like that. I know how hard it is to say something, but as Christians, we are responsible for taking action to stopping the sin.

Answer 9

I love gossip.

I love to hear the dirt...isn't that awful? I also know it is wrong.

If I'm with Christians I usually tell them that it is wrong and we need to talk about something else. They usually listen.

If I'm with the World...I have to stay away from certain people.

Not only that, the people that like to gossip ARE talking BADLY about you too. No one is off their gossip list.

I learned that the hard way. A close friend liked to gossip about everyone...including me.

Answer 10

Peter Frampton once wrote a song called " Shine On ". I don't listen to this type of thing but it's a good cue. Do what government and the rest of the world are doing:

PARALELL TALK THEM TO DEATH.

Today, people engage in this kind of activity in order to constrain you to be part of their group.

Too,given the language you're using; I'm to assume you're a believer.

Well, this is applicable to anybody. Personally, I find people who go to church ought to look at that book a little more closely. Just because a mouse lives in a cookie jar doesn't make him a cookie.