How can I get my daughter (24) to understand that the world does not revolve around her?

Question

Thanks, She is married and has 3 children of her own. If you say anything to her about how she acts she says you are saying something about the children.

Thanks again, I do not meddle in her life nothing I do suits her. I just found out her husband left her and I have a feeling she pushed him to it with her everyone owes me attitude.

Answer 1

At twenty-four, the world does revolve around her. From her perspective, anyway. As with many other things, she will learn through time and observation that the world is much bigger than she is.
You've gotten her this far....
Maybe rather than harping or being negative towars her about her seeming endless elf-centeredness, you could deliberately involve her in things that show her that she is simply a small piece of the cosmos...
Or, that she can put oother folk's needs before her ow.
For instance, you could tell her of some family that you saw on the news or heard about that was really hurt by a fire/storm/death, whatever and that you are putting together a bag of clothes for them and ask her to find a few things to add...
or...
you could tell her you are planning on spending one evening every other week reading to a group of kids at the local child welfare agency or local elementary school and ask her to join you....
or...enlist her help for small, one time things that are for other people...slowly increase the committment you ask as you feed her lots of praise for the little things she has done...
it's a building process...and chances are that she is a pain in the butt so you are seeing the negative side easily whereas the beautiful child you raised has taken a back seat...
maybe you could spend a little bit of time focusing on what is good in her and how you helped make it that way...
good luck...
Reg

Answer 2

It was probably cute when she was little, huh? Now she's all grown up and thinks things should just be handed to her. Don't spoil them when they are little and you won't have these type problems. If she's 24 she would be out on her own and discovering that fact by herself. Don't just tell her you have to work for things, show her by kicking her to the curb. That's why it's called tough love. It's tough.

I would like to add that since she is married with children it seems that it would be her husband's problem and not yours. Children usually have a way of making one grow up but in your daughter's case it seems now she has an excuse to behave the way that she does.

Answer 3

First of all Terri--(and please don't be mad at me--you ask and my job here is to answer) you do not "get" anyone to understanding--the individual has to "come" to understanding------Next, if she is grown, has a family,and is no longer in your keeping--your insight and opinions are truely no more than that...and as far as this situation is concerned YOU could easily be the one out of line......It is understood that your years of experience and your love for her make you want to GUIDE her--but your days of free reign in this department are done....When at first I read your statement about her misdirecting comments made about her to the children--my first assumption was that maybe she was in some way in denial---at closer observations thought--I think this is a way in which she is trying her best not to have a confrontation with you about you being a meddling neny--so it's very possible she is the one trying to make all this work up and over you butting in

Answer 4

There is no need to explain your daughter any thing at all, because the relation of family always comes in between the preaching the near and dear one. It will be much better to look for the counsellor who is beyond the three requirements namely; lust, wealth and fame.
Then only the appropriate solution will arrive.
secondly there is no question from your daughter about how to change herself. It is your expectation who makes you to give advice. The advice which has been given without question is never effective. Because if any one have the question for him/her self for improving one self then only the real answer arrives with once's own determination to change one self.

Answer 5

just tell her like that the world does not revolve around you..... grown woman i have my own life.....do not let her make you feel guilty either 24 year old woman should be concentrating on her own life not making your life dificult... and ,maybe if she is a real pain in the butt then she needs to have sometime for by her self..what you do is take a vacation by your self or your husband,or friends and get away from her for a while she is going to have to take care of her own business,you raised her you did your job and its time to enjoy yours.

Answer 6

Does she still live with you? This will tell alot. If so, she needs to move out and see how the real world is, ie work for things on her own. I have a feeling that you spoil her and dont make her do things on her own, ie earn her own way . Good luck.

Answer 7

stop helping her. She should be living on her own with her own job, car, etc. Tell her she needs to find an appartment and then set a realistic deadline for her to get out. Once that happens and she's dealt with the world for a while then she'll figure it out.

Answer 8

Whether you want to believe it or not, you made her this way. You probably gave her everything she ever wanted, the only way for her to stop thinking that way is to have have children. I'm not saying that you should tell her to go and get pregnant, but after you have a child you are no longer number one, that's what happened to me.

Answer 9

24 is old enough to see that on your own with out mommy sasying so. i was out the house and working at the age of 16. had my first kid at 19 , along with many others out there. you should tell her to get a job and be independant.she will adventually relize the world is not just hers unless of course you make her feel that it is

Answer 10

If she's 24, then she should probably be out and living on her own. There's nothing like paying your own bills to realize the world isn't always on your side.