question about 2 year old daughter........?

Question

ok, i don't want to sound weird, but i am a first time mother. My 2 year old daughter is already asking questions about boys private parts. She wants to know what "that" is on her cousins butt (she calls the front part "butt" also). I tried to explain to her that boys are different than girls, which was kinda hard considering she's only 2. Then she proceeded to say that when she grows up she will be a boy. She also touches herself alot. I don't know if this is normal. I know she is only a child and doesn't understand, and maybe i am just freaking out a little, but i need some suggestions on how i can explain this to her. I will accept my daughter nomatter how she turns out as an adult, but i just want the best and NORMAL life for her. Help!!

Answer 1

It is normal. I Have an 8 yr old daughter, and she did the same. My 4 year old son thinks his penis is the greatest toy in the world.

From the beginning I have been technical about the terms we use, and answer all questions honestly. I told my daughter each person was given a gift. Girls got vagina's so they can have babies, and boy were given penises so they can make them. when she asked how, I said it is complicated and i will tell her more at a later time. i read that children who use technical terms for private areas are more likely to be open with their parents about sex, and are more likely to not except inappropriate touching and tell someone about it.

i learned in my child exploration class that you should allow your child to touch them selves in private like in the bath tub because if you scold them they may become embarrassed or scared to be open about any problems. Simply tell her there is a time and a place.

my daughter feels comfortable enough to tell me her vagina itches or hurts, and your daughter will go through that too. my daughter gets reactions to bubble bath and some soaps, and if she hadn't been open it could have gotten worse.

Answer 2

Your daughter is completely normal, and curious! My daughter is 2 1/2 and asks about bady parts and differences between boys and girls all the time. My advice to you is don't be embarassed by her questions, and answer them with respect and as much detail as she can handle. My daughter knows she has breasts and a vagina and boys have a penis. She often will proudly tell people this knowledge in public, like the cashier at Wal-mart. If that happens just say "uh-huh you do and make no comment, they'll stop doing it when they no longer get a reaction from anyone. As far as wanting to be a boy, I think you're over reacting a bit, she still little and doesn't understand she can't change. My daughter has decided she's marrying Daddy when she's big, and we can't convince her otherwise. Add more information as she gets older. If you start talking about these things now, it won't be awkward at a later age.

Answer 3

Your daughter sounds very smart to notice and take an interest at 2. Don't ruin her curiosity. Tell her all she needs to know in a way a child would understand. Don't go into great detail, but there is no harm in what she is doing. I caught my 3 1/2 year old daughter about to stand over the toilet and 'wee like daddy does' the other day. I just laughed and told her that only boys can do it that way and girls must sit down. She said she wanted to be a boy so she can stand up and wee. This is harmless behavior and I didn't go to bed that night fretting that maybe when she is older, she will want a sex change or something. It's just natural. Please don't worry and encourage her. She only wants to learn.

Answer 4

Well I have to say it is difficult to explain to a 2 yr old why boys are different but just try to make it as easy as you can for her to understand even if you have to use the old shovenistic ways that the boys have their parts becuase they work hard jobs or go any route that she will understand as hard as it is....As for touching herself it is very normal at that age they are just figuring out that there is feeling down there and sometimes they just want to see what happens when they touch it so dont be freaked out this is all normal and just because she says she wants to be a boy when she grows up doesnt mean anything it just means she sees different and wants to know what it is like

Answer 5

All that you describe is normal and, if anything, indicates that you have a smart little girl. The only thing I would do is try and convey that talking about the "butt" and touching herself are things she should not do in front of people but only alone or with you. In fact, at her age, she has no concept of being separate from you quite yet. Just catch her when she does it in the presence of others and say no, not now, private. After a few times, she'll get it. Don't put a moral tone on, she's innocent.

Answer 6

This is totally normal for a 2 year old. I have one, myself and have encountered the same thing. Be HONEST with her, use the proper names and dont ever make her feel ashamed of herself. Exploring her body is just a part of growing up...it's no different than her putting her fingers in her nose. She has found a new orafice and will explore. If she happens to "explore" while around others, gently distract her from doing it and let her know that now is not the time. She will get the hint. Dont be discouraged, you are doing a great job as a mom!

Answer 7

Goodness gracious you are freaking out over something that is normal.
She is just being a curious youngster and noticing differences. She is also learning that when she touches herself down there it feels good, now is the time to explain that is ok but also tell her its something you do in private like while your in your bedroom or in the bathtub. Then don't focus on this conversation anymore and don't let her see it troubles you if she says she wants to be a boy. All this is perfectly normal in a two year old.

Answer 8

Your daughter is fine, and her curiosity is perfectly normal. Don't read anything in to it - it has nothing to do with the adult she'll become.

Just be factual and honest with her. Tell her that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. If she asks more questions beyond that, answer them in the same way - factually, without long explanations. Don't worry about her saying she'll be a boy when she grows up - it's no different than saying she'll be a princess or a butterfly.

Please don't feel hesitant to teach your daughter the proper labels for things - children that are able to identify their 'private parts' with real words are FAR more likely to report sexual abuse because they feel no more shame in saying 'that person touched my vagina' than they do in saying 'that person touched my hand'.

Answer 9

Tell her what the parts she talking about are called. Then after you've told her 170 million times she'll get tired and move onto something else. She touches herself because it's hers and she can. If she does it in public or around other people just remove her hand and give her something else to play with. She's a child so everything is new. In order to obtain knowledge she has to explore and ask questions about everything. You're here to parent and guide her. Don't take this stuff too seriously, you'll be crazy and you'll make her crazy.

Answer 10

saying "normal" is your first mistake...obviously you won't accept her no matter what she decides in the future, BUT

good thing for HER, shes only 2 and she doesnt know what she IS let alone what she will WANT when she gets older...its like saying "i wanna be a LION when i grow up" its not gonna happen...

as for trying to explain the differences of boys and girls to your 2 year old daughter.... i'd say change the subject until she really IS old enough to understand a little more than right now...