I don’t like my mother-in-law as a person, how can I deal with her being in my life?

Question

My mother-in-law doesn’t think I am good enough for her only child, but she is nice to my face since the day I married her son so I visit with her and intend to let her see our future children as long as she respects our boundaries.

I don’t like her, I think she is judgmental, she thinks her son is perfect, she is a miserable person, she tries to manipulate my husband and control him. She is a religious hypocrite and throws fits about not wanting religious children. She thinks she is too young to be a grandmother at 50, and was relieved to find out I wasn’t pregnant with her son’s child since she didn’t want me to even be married to him let alone have his child!

I really think she doesn’t have a good heart, she is just not a good person. I don’t like her, but she is in my life because she is the mother of my husband and she will be the grandmother of my children, so how do I deal with her being around?

Answer 1

She hates you. Get over it. Nothing she can do about you being married to her son. If all else fails take her on the Jerry Springer show.

Answer 2

I hear you, some people in life are just no damn good and unfortunately you have the misfortune of being related to one of them. The best advice I can offer you is to try and ignore her and stay away from her as much as possible. Don't let her steal your joy. She has to come to accept that her son is no longer a child and has his own life to lead. Some day you will have children and this will probably be when you express how you feel and hopefully for her, she will listen and change or miss out on a relationship with her grand kids. But, just keep doing what you are doing and remember she has ISSUES.

Answer 3

Boy, sounds like you're living my life. I've been dealing with my mom-in-law for 18 years now. Trust me there will be so many times where she will just really pi$$ you off. I've learned the best way is to ignore her little escapades and let her dig her own grave.
Where does your husband fit into all of this? It took me a few years to realize that the relationship we have is sooo much stronger than what they have. My husband doesn't dare to tell his mom off, no matter how bad she screws up. But he never hesitates just for a second to let me know if I did anything he doesn't like. I've come to realize this is because he feels safe to tell me his opinion without fear of rejection. He doesn't have that sense of unconditional love from his Mom.
What has helped us is that we are in the Army and have managed to keep great distances from her. This way I was able to limit her manipulation

Answer 4

I have been thru the same situation and it doesnt get any better..But just try to allow her ignorance to blow past you 9 times out of 10 she is jealous at the fact that you have her sons love and she knows she will slowly have to let go because as his child enters the world he will hopefully not allow the negativity to continue...Also it worked with my husband so it might work but sit down and explain to your husband your feelings and how everything is effecting you he may not realize how things are for you and may try to help fix things also the hard feelings are not good for your unborn child to pick up so as hard as it may seem try to let her attitude roll off your back because as we all know mother in laws are here to stay..GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

This is a hard one! I would say, there are three options:

Learn to like her and let her like you (a lot of work)

Just keep going the best you can without confrontation (low work, but lots of frustration on your own)

Talk to her about how you feel and she might open up (risky, but something good could come out of it)

Good news are she might calm down a little bit, once she sees you being a good mother as you bring your children into your family. Keep the communication open with your husband, not to make him take sides, but for him to know how you feel and be able to support you as his wife.
Best wishes!!!!

Answer 6

You're now not the primary mom who will elevate a little one by and large through herself, and you are going to do a best task. There is not anything flawed with that. Everyone's existence challenge is extraordinary. There are many methods now for dads to maintain in contact - email, textual content, letter, calls, so your little one gets to speak to him and have interaction -- and confidently so will you. Just keep in mind, there also are many ladies elevating children who've husbands who come residence at night time, and the ones husbands would possibly do little or not anything to aid out or handle the children. Just the presence of a father does not imply they are contributing to little one elevating.

Answer 7

She isn't going to change, so you have to deal with her the way she is. Be thankful you don't live in a culture where women are totally under the control of MIL! You treat her with respect and courtesy. It isn't necessary for people to like each other to be able to get along or nobody would ever be able to form a bowling league.

Answer 8

you married your husband not her and since its his mother he needs to put her in her place and if that don't work relocate far away from her or tell her yourself that u know how she really feels and she's just gonna have to deal with the fact that you and her son are 1 person now and that means she has to respect you or get out of your life

Answer 9

Sounds like you have little choice but to deal with it. All you can do is express your concern to your husband. He should take notice to your feelings and either confront his mother, or provide a viable solution. If he is married to you and loves you, then he couldn't appreciate is mother's behavior. Therefore, he should be the first to confront her and usher in a change. After all, this is your family, and not hers.

Answer 10

If you don't care for her..why pretend you do? You could choose to tolerate her or stay away. I would suggest doing what is comfortable with you. My mother-in-law and I don't usually see eye to eye..and I eventually had to stop pretending because it was causing me too much pain inside..so I decided to stay away. If my husband visits..he takes the kids and I stay home. I am too old to pretend that I care for someone out of allegiance..when I truly don't. She never wanted me to marry him anyway. So, do what feels right for you. It's okay to feel the way you do.