Because of my position working at a language school for foreigners, my age and the fact students expect me, as a resident, already to have a social network I find very often students (mostly young adults, young ladies, at that) are shy of inviting me to join them. How can I let them know I'd like to included in their activities without "gate crashing?" I just want them to know I'm free, but I want them to decide or not if they ask me along and feel no pressure whatsoever. As I live alone and have no contacts here, this is rather important for me, as I hope one day to find my soulmate or just new friends.
2006-06-15 05:05:21 · 4 answers · asked by Richard III 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are in a difficult position as you are their instructor. You cant get included unless you form a casual relationship of friendship first, by chatting etc. As you build up trust, then you can mention that you are interested in going along to join their activities, or even ask what activities you could get into from them. Maybe better for you to look outside of the school, join social activities like evening classes. Less complications with relationships with "students " etc.
2006-06-15 06:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by ANGEL-T 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Break down the issue; for example; do they live alone; why did they come over here? Study could be the "second best" reason but more personal plans more truthful.
What do you and what do they want to go out for? While there are general stereotypes, and some (foreign and local) people fit them perfectly, they are not always true; but what do you expect from your students and what do they expect from you? Some will be genuine, but some will only want to know how to register with a GP then drop you. Is you employer going to be impressed if you do make friends?
They may be asking themselves similar questions and would be pleasantly surprised that so you do; but you have to deal with the fact that you are alone and need friends, as the students feel vulnerable and lonely.
For the reasons above you must evaluate how sustainable a friendship will be, because the last thing you want is to fall out with them! If you befriend one lady more than another no both will be happy!
You have to surface those questions so that everyone knows the other's rules. I would steer the conversations towards social life and leisure preferences. Once you have some idea of it, I would organise a social, a trip or a day out. It is not just you towards them, as students need to befriend each other.
2006-06-15 06:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by Wizq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be difficult for them, considering you are the 'instructor' and therefore highly respect you. This may not set well with their culture. Just a thought, that perhaps you need to consider first.
2006-06-15 05:10:36 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take one of the more mature ones into your confidence and ask them to spread the word...?
2006-06-15 05:16:06 · answer #4 · answered by Nefeco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋