I have a very depressed friend, whom I've been friends with for a long time. Lately though he is completly unreliable (says he'll call doesn't, stands me up, doesn't do what he says he will do ect.). All he has to say lately is negative and whiney. I want to be there for him....and for the last year I have put up with all of it and tried to be the best friend I could handle being. but I find myself very angry and resentful towards him. I avoid him because I don't like being around him...then I feel guilty as hell about it and feel I'm not being a friend, but I feel he's not my friend, he's a self centered whiney taker all the time. I know he needs professional help, but he can't/won't. How can I help him without going insane!
2006-06-15 04:54:51 · 6 answers · asked by Lisa 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Dealing with a depressed friend is never easy. I know all about it. My best friend in the whole world has suffered with deep depression since her car accident last August. It is difficult sometimes to find the right words to say to her. I keep telling her to look at her positives and don't focus so much on her negatives, perhaps this will help your friend.
You may want to approach him to do some investigative work to pinpoint for his ownself what person(s) or thing(s) make him feel depressed about. Then after he does this, ask him if there is anything he could change to correct the problems. If he says "no there isn't" then ask him to make a list of all of his good points and acknowledge all his accomplishments in life. See if you can focus on the good and positive things in his life as opposed to his negative things.
Always encourage your friend as best as you can. Be willing to listen to him and be as positive as you can not only with him but with yourself.
Let him know that you care very deeply for him and let him know that you will support him with all of his decisions.
Every once in awhile, mention to him about therapy and seeing a doctor about his depression. Medications and therapy go hand in hand.
Good luck to you and your friend! I hope he feels better soon!
2006-06-15 05:22:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lyndee 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Leaving is usually easier said than done when you care about someone...when he doesn't call, don't call...if he stands you up don't go calling and contacting...cause (unless he's suicidal) he is probably loving the attention you are giving him...whether he admits it or not, which doesn't motivate the need for change. Use a lil reverse psychology...Let him call you after a long time of you not contacting him...if he asks why you haven't been in contact...then you tell him as tactful as you can that you feel like it's a one sided friendship cause you are willing to be there for him but he's forgetting that you need a friend too. If he continues the same way...then you are gonna have to back off cause he will burn you out...Poor Me's always end up alienating their friends and fam.
2006-06-15 12:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by Passionate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the most difficult questions to answer! Your friend may not be thinking correctly, he may be confused and can't remember what or when he is supposed to do something. Depression is a major issue in the world today. Check out http://www.nami.org/ they are a national organization that deals with mental illness. Most larger cities has an affiliate for information about services in your area. The most important thing is "DON'T GIVE UP", it could cost your friend his life. NAMI will give you and him help.
Good luck!
Heather d
2006-06-15 14:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by Heather d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I apologise in advance if this sounds harsh. You first need to ask yourself a very important question. Then decide for yourself, from experience with the person, and take action on it. The question is: "Does this person WANT to be helped? Or are they just looking for someone to turn to, lean on, depend on." (Take advantage of, use) The cold, hard, truth is that if they are REALLY WANTIING helped, they will take your advice to seek professional help, no matter how hard it might be to do. They will also recognise that they are bringing you down with them. You should think also about what you are doing to yourself and them. Is your continued effort to be there enabling them to stay in denial of their need for professional help? What are you doing to yourself as a result? Why should you feel guilty for saying enough?
2006-06-15 12:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by myauninn 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll burn out. Get out of the picture, because you can't help.
Seek for professional help.
Some depressed people attract negative dieties to them in the long run. Their complexion will be dark and grey. They will stay in darkness, inside a house with no sunlight. Is that the case with him?
2006-06-15 12:17:23 · answer #5 · answered by Timeless - watcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAD A FRIEND WHO SUFFERS FROM DEPRESION AND BOY O BOY THEY WERE BRINGING ME DOWN , EVERYTIME THEY CAME ROUND IT WAS DOOM AND GLOOM AND IT STARTED MAKING ME ILL , I KNEW THIS PERSON DIDNT LIKE DOGS SO I GOT MYSELF A WEST ISLAND WHITE PUPPY , HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE , DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR ,
MOVE
2006-06-15 12:21:26 · answer #6 · answered by tatoowz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋