How do you feel about this situation? What would you do about it.?

Question

A 13 year old girl is going to her friends house. Her parents know exactly where she is, who her friends are, & when she is going and coming home. She told her parents to not tell her siblings or relatives about where she is going & who her friends are because it is not their business. She is not fighting with her siblings. She just don't want them to know about it. But her parents say "you have no right to tell us who to and who not to tell. We are the parents not you. I can give you rules. You can't give me rules. We can tell if we want. It is not their business, but it is mine. So I have the right to tell if I want to. Are her parents reasonable? Parents should respect their kids' business and not tell others if the kids don't wish their business to be told to others. Right? What would you do as the parent? There is a difference between giving rules & respecting the kids personal business. Right?

Answer 1

She's 13 and probably naive. I think her parents are just looking out for her safety and well-being. I think both sides need to sit down and discuss this, rather and argue.

Answer 2

If you are just bugging out because your parents might tell your siblings that you are going to your friends' houses, then count yourself lucky that this is the only thing your parents come after you for. You write like a person who is savvy and independent, and although you are trying to gain your independence, it will be a little while before it is fully coming along your way. So, just do the right thing, tell your parents where you are going, etc., and the rest will just pan out. Your siblings probably don't care where you are going anyway.

Answer 3

Wow well as a parent myself I feel I have the right to know what my child is doing at all times as well as giving rules and such , however Im not quite sure why your parents feel the need to express your interest to other family members about who your friends are and what you are doing unless they feel they dont like them and they are looking for advise. You do have to respect your child as a parent because if you dont then you are not setting a very good example for the child. And as a child you have to respect your parents in what they decide for you. It is a 2 way street to get respect you have to give respect. So try to respect them and im sure they will do the same for you.

Answer 4

It's the parents house and the parents rules. A 13 year old has no right telling the parents what to do. Yes they can repsect their kids, but that does not mean the kids can tell them what they can do. Your friend needs to remember that she is only a child and it is her parents who are in charge

Answer 5

There should be some level of respect both ways but the child should never be allowed to give rules to the parents. Th e child id the child and the parents are the parents.

Answer 6

I have to agree in this situation that it isn't anyone elses business. What reason would your parents have to tell someone else where you are anyways? I agree that respect should be on both ends but the child should respect rules as well. Speaking as a mom ;)

Answer 7

I think that if her parents want to maintain a good relationship, and have her tell them this sort of stuff, then they have to respect her privacy.

They should feel happy that she does tell them this stuff. Besides, she may have good reasons, her siblings may not like her friends and may give her a hard time over it.

Its about respect. She could lie to her parents, but she doesn't and that shows a lot of respect. Her parents have to understand that respect is a two way thing, and return that respect.

Answer 8

Maybe it's not a matter of respecting privacy but an issue of everyone in the family needing to know where the others are. If there were an emergency and the parents are not able to gather all the siblings, someone else needs to know where she is and how to find her. That's common courtesy and reduses panic in emergency situations.

Answer 9

You should respect your kids privacy and now is not a good time to break their confidence with the toughest teen years coming up. I would howveer be a little worried why she doesn't want them to know. Are they close in age? I would look for signs that your child is up to no good. Maybe growing distant with you, breaking house rules, missing curfew, falling behind in school, attitude changes, dressing differently, etc.
Maybe even introduce yourself to your childs friends parents and get to know them and maybe they can give you some relief that your child is not getting into trouble.

Answer 10

I'm sorry but at 13 your parents do have the right to know where you are and who you're with at all times. Sucks I know, but you'll understand better when you have kids of your own one day. It's your parents responsibility to have this info.

I'm over 30 and had to move back in with my mom for a year. I still told her where I was going and doing.......as she did for me. It's only common courtesy to set the other persons mind at ease.

Be thankful you have a family that cares this much about you......many don't.

Answer 11

sounds like the thirteen year old is either trying to hide something, or emvbarassed by her firend niether of which is a good thing. She can ask her parents in a kind and mature way not to share this information with other people, but she can't tell them what to do. If she has a mature converstaion with them about why she would rather this information not be shared, they may understand and agree with her. But demanding or telling them what to do or not do is not her place. And thirteen-year-olds do'nt have the riht to presonal business.... everything is their parents business.