He is going to dump me and dish me off to one of his friends I am sure of it. I just wished he would be honest about this - so I could start a new relationship and move on.
He has had a lot of secrets for me from the beginning but never ever answered any of my questions. Now I am still in love with him - but I am so confused by all the things he said - and I wish he would just be honest and let me move on with life.
What is the best strategy in this situation. Ihave always felt there is another wife but he has always denied it. I do not know where he lives I just have his mobile number.
2006-06-15 02:48:19 · 36 answers · asked by veronica 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sonmeone suggested I get a lawyer - could that person please explain what good a lawyer can do in this situation??
2006-06-20 03:07:33 · update #1
I do not mean we are not legally married. We are married for european law and before a immam and after both sides of his family approved of our marriage. Nothing invalid about our marriage. I mean I might be in one of these marriages that are meant to protect a woman that is in a difficult situation. I was in a very difficult situation - I was very ill and nobody in the entire netherlands was really interested to help me - or even just give me some money I could buy good food for.
Everybody had just dumped me because I was ill.
This is realistic - the moslim culture knows marriages like that.
It is possible not to see your husband - again because of the terrible hatred that the dutch government has incited the past years against all strangers but escpecially against moslims.
I and I hope nobody else would want my husband to get killed because he tried to help someone (born and raised in the netherlands) in need.
2006-06-27 03:01:22 · update #2
Oh what an AWFUL situation. Many Muslim men have NO respect for non-muslim women or any woman not of their ethnic background. You are being used by a man from a culture that has no respect for women, even women of their own faith.
Get a DIVORCE and flee to the USA or Canada and find a man of Judeo-Christian background, or better yet marry a Christian.
You are in the Netherlands where radical Muslims encouraged the MURDER of Theo van Gough, remember? Theo was MURDERED because he was exposing the truth of how Muslim men treat women. And now you are victim of such a man.
I really feel for you, but I am in the USA.
Find your way to the USA or Canada after you divorce the HEATHEN!
2006-06-28 15:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by WhatAmI? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a big mess----if he helped you when no one else would that was his choice to do so and since you've given him yourself -you owe him nothing else. A "real"Marriage is not determined by law or religion but the honesty and commitment between the two people involved and by marrying him whether Muslim ceremony or Dutch no matter but you did not become his property to be passed on and that alone invalidates the marriage-look in the Koran under marriage law and there are conditions of how the man is to treat his wife and the wife her husband----keeping secrets and being oblivious to your need(honesty) is not being a true Muslim and a true Muslim does not pass his wife off to his friends. I would pray for God to enlighten you esp in the respect you are entitled to as soon as God even still thought of you for being made by Him you are to be treated accordingly. I'm puzzled at how you can love him that is showing you that he does not respect nor love you. Just Leave while you still have years left to you to make a life for yourself-stay and you will end your life full of regret.
2006-06-28 14:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a major problem. I can't help you only give you advice. You could leave but if you love him that would be the wrong move. How in the world do you think he will dump you?
This whole story sounds fishy to me. What are you trying to accomplish? Maybe you need some psychological counseling? I think you need help. Maybe your husband is perfectly normal but your the one who is shaky. I am sorry you are in this predicament but please stop and think about the things I have written. Good Luck with the Muslim!!
2006-06-23 04:36:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to subject yourself to to being dished off onto one of his friends? You married someone and don't know where he lives??? Marriage shouldn't be about secrecy and confusion. The best strategy is no strategy, just up and leave no forwarding address or phone number, you won't be missing out on much.
2006-06-23 08:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by D D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instinct...especially if you don't know where he lives. Life is short..you must enjoy it. Don't waste your time on somebody who doesn't consider you their best friend. It's not worth it. The guy is a conman. There are many guys out there who will treat you like a queen. You are worth it. You should have a feeling of security in a relationship. ..and you should be able to communicate with each other...otherwise, what do you have? Not a good relationship. the answer.....move on with your life..you won't regret it.
good luck!
2006-06-15 03:04:20 · answer #5 · answered by scoobydoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a Muslim too.? In many countries Muslim can't get married with other religion , it's law. If u think you are on fake married , law also cannot help, because you break the law at first.
by the way, get professional help who those not bias. In here, u will get more confusing and confused everyone else.
2006-06-28 23:30:53 · answer #6 · answered by azalea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I do not know enough about your culture or government to give good advise. Is there a government center/church or women's group you could go to for advise?
If you are certain he is going to dump you, try to get your life in order and get prepared to live on your own. I am sorry you were ill, it sounds as if you are better now so try to plan so that you can take care of yourself.
2006-06-27 11:10:18 · answer #7 · answered by jodi M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not really married, then what is preventing you from leaving and moving on with your life? You have answered your own question as to what to do. He cheats on you, he may be married to another woman and he is going to "dish you off to one of his friends". You state that you want to start a new relationship and move on. There is nothing preventing you from doing this. Just do it!
2006-06-26 05:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by Samba Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I noticed that you didn't say you were separated or something like that. You simply state that you don't know where he lives. So my first clue is that you knew going in that this was no real marriage. You probably fell for this guy, and now feeling the hammer coming down want to get back at him. My advice get out of this marriage before you hurt yourself anymore. Get on with your life & let him get on with his.
2006-06-24 09:14:58 · answer #9 · answered by somebrowning 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this relationship. I know you love him, but there are more important things in life than love, sometimes. Honesty is the most important thing in a marriage. You also have to share the same values. It does not sound like you do share values. I wish you luck!
2006-06-15 02:55:37 · answer #10 · answered by ginaforu5448 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋