What would you do?

Question

I just recieved an invitation to my cousins wedding for september.... I have a 4 1/2 month old baby.. BUT only my husband & I are invited!!! My daughter will be 7 1/2 months old when the wedding comes & I have no-one to babysit her (not that I'd want her baby sat anyway!!!) Im thinking of not going as im really dissapointed that she cant come... Its not as if they have to pay for her, or that she'll run around or anything! should we go or not? What would you do?

Answer 1

Just remember it is the bride and grooms day-not yours. It's not a time for your to show off your kid to all the relatives and steal any part of the spotlight from the two most important people of the day.

My wife and I had a "No Kids" wedding because we wanted all the parents to be able to have a good time and didn't want kids running and screaming all over the place.

Imagine how upset the bride would be if in the middle of the vows your baby started crying and either people couldn't hear or they were distracted.

If you think that you "can't" get a babysitter it's because you don't wnat one.

No offense, but his day is about them and only them. Drop the selfish act and attend your cousins wedding-if you really want to.

Answer 2

Well, I can't blame them for not wanting your baby to come. At 7 1/2 months, they probably don't want to take the chance that she'll be screaming her head off in the middle of the ceremony. And to be honest, how much fun is a recaption when your carrying around a little baby? I agree also with the person who said that bringing your baby could take away from the bride and groom because everywhere you go, that baby will have to go too. Its not that you can't get a babysitter either. You still have a few months to go until the wedding and I'm sure at some point in your life, you kid will need a sitter. If you don't want to go then just send the reply card back saying you can't come. I didn't go to 2 of my cousins weddings and one of my other cousins had a no kids wedding too so my parents had to leave my brother and I at home even though neither of us were really kids at that time. Its their wedding to make those decisions.

Answer 3

If it is an out of town wedding, I'd just decline. Unless you know a family member that will be there and will babysit instead of going to the ceremony.(not likely!)

But if it is in town, or really close, I'd go. Just find someone you trust to watch your child. Most couples don't invite children to the wedding, and even though you are sure your baby won't disturb the service, if they let you bring her, what will they tell the rest of the parents?

I know it seems very unfair to you now that your baby is young, but you can't take it so personally. It is a day for the couple, let them do it the way they want. We had the opposite, more kids than adults at our wedding. Instead of ticked off parents, all we heard was how those "unruly brats" ruined our wedding. Well, they didn't!! But I learned that you can't please everyone, so you might as well do what you want!

Answer 4

I understand that your baby is young and you are very attached to her (I suspect that this is your first baby too).

Anyway, you have to understand that this is the bride's day and she sets the rules. Most weddings have a NO-kids policy because is an adult affair and screaming babies and tantrum prone tots would ruin a year's worth of careful planning.

Be considerate nad undertanding. You have no right to impose your baby upon the bride, and is not rude to ask for no kids on a wedding, as a matter of fact, is a very common practice. Find a relative to babysit or hire a professional state certified babysitter. If you still don't want to leave your baby behind, be gracious, decline the invitation, but don't hold a grudge since it's the bride's choice and is perfectly compliant with the rules of etiquette.
By all means, don't be rude by bringing your baby when it was clearly stated that it was an adult only affair and make this an opportunity to have alone time with your husband.

Good luck

Answer 5

Well your cousin knows that you have a child. Did she specifiy that she didn't want kids at the wedding? I would assume me and my hubby meant my daughter as well. Maybe she just didn't want to RSVP for a baby, a plate that she doesn't have to count towards her final head count to the caterer.

Call her and ask her. If she thinks babies would distract the ceremony maybe I would get a baby sitter (you still have time to look) and go to the ceremony and not the reception. Just to show your family support. Of course they could understand your not staying for the reception.

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding without children. I did notice they were gone for some receptions but they usually could attend the wedding.

Answer 6

A lot of brides and grooms choose to not include kids. It's not only the running around or extra bill for the food, but with babies, it's the crying and attention that the mother/father have to give it instead of letting loose and having fun. Don't be offended that she wasn't included. They probably just figured you and your husband could have a night out without the baby (it's healthy!). If I were you, I would find a friend or family member to babysit for the evening. Or, if you're not that close to the cousin, skip it.

Answer 7

You need to realize how expensive weddings are. I am planning my wedding and I am going to do the same-Adults only! A wedding reception is an adult event anyways, so regardless of the pricing or not having to pay for your child they have every right to not want a screaming 7 month old at THEIR SPECIAL NIGHT. You would be selfish in my eyes if you don't go. You have enough time to find a sitter.

Answer 8

You should let your cousin know that your baby is the most important member in YOUR family and that bringing her should not be an issue. Let your cousin know how important it is to you to be there at the wedding but only with your whole family, not just you and your husband. If she does not want your daughter there, then you should decline the invitation and spend that time with your daughter instead.

Answer 9

Well I would verify that this is a non-children wedding. They may not care if the child goes to the ceremony just not the reception. If this is in fact a non-child wedding then your cousin must understand the reason for your not being able to attend.

Answer 10

for all you people that left comments saying that the cousin is right weddings r exspensive or kids are going to interrupt you guys are soooo wrong and i hope u guys dont have kids.
Anyways hunny a wedding is about family and your baby is part of your family if she cant go you shouldnt go talk to your cousin see what she says maybe she just dont want older kids even though i thionk that is stupid i just got married june 3 2006 and i loved having everybody there it was expensive but well worth it good luck