Tell me plz?

Question

Tell me the BEST ever joke you ever heard and if i like or love it i'll give you the 10 point's okay

Answer 1

The Magician and The Parrot

A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem:
The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or, "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything.
It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.

The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... and then 2 days .. and then 3 days .

Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said ..... "OK, I give up. Where's the f__kin' ship?"

Answer 2

There were three people in an aiplane.. a canadian, an american, and a mexican. A fairy flies by and gives them each a wish. The Mexican says "I want an indestructible wall built around all of Mexico." And it is done.
The American says, "Yeah, that's a good idea. I want that too!" And it is done.
The Canadian thinks for a minute, then his face lights up. "I want to fill both those countries with water!"






There are three men who go to the toilet store and buy toilets. One gets a wooden toilet, one gets a metal toilet, and one gets a toilet that sings "O, Canada" every time someone sits on it. The next day, the man with the wooden toilet returns his. "Every time I sit down on this, I get splinters!" he complains. The same day, the man with the metal toilet returns his. "Every time I sit on it, I slide off because it's so slippery!" he groans. Then the man with the singing toilet returns his. "I can't go to the bathroom on theis toilet!" he moans. The manager is puzzled. "why not?" he asks.

The man replies,"Every time I sit down on it, I have to stand up with my hand on my heart!"

Answer 3

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.

Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep ****."

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little
boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa,
I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."

The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too
wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair
spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then
he puts the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and
runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and
hands the little boy another five dollars.

The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."

The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."

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Answer 4

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--- LeeeN