Anyone know any good confucius (?) jokes?

Question

The only one I can remember is: "Man who walks through aircraft door sideways is going to Bangkok"

Answer 1

Man who live in glass house dress in basement.

Answer 2

Confucius say: Boy who go to sleep with hard problem wake up with solution in hand.
Confucius also say: Man with both feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
On third note, Confucius append with: Person with fast car and small phone find early grave.
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Confucius say: Man who walk into airport door going to Bangkok
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Confucius say: Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

HOPE THIS HELPS

Answer 3

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch a_s_s should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Answer 4

1.A MAN GOES TO A TELEVISION STORE AND ASKS IS THERE COLOUR TV AVAILABLE THE MANAGER TELLS YES.THEN THE MAN ASKS GIVE ME GREEN ONE PLEASE.
2.TYSON:My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold.
FRIEND:Does it work?
TYSON:I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath.
3.TYSON went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Banta called him and said 'Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like this?' 'Not at all,' replied the classmate. 'I would be ashamed if I ate my meal here. I only work in this place.'
4.An Englishman, an American and a Tyson are called upon to test a lie detector.The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"All right, 8 hamburgers".
And the machine's silent.
& Tyson say's: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

Answer 5

Man who cooks carrots and pe(a)s in same pot not very sanitary.

Man who take girl on side of hill not on the level.

Ostrich who put head in sand get burnt in end.

Answer 6

I went to the cash point the other day and an old lady asked me to check her balance, so i pushed her.

Answer 7

two mans riding on a bikes fighting for a window seat

Answer 8

Man who eats jelly beans farts in technicolour.

Answer 9

Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Stand on toilet, get high on pot.
Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal *** all over town.
Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.
A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission
grow up to be shiftless bastard.
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss baloons.
Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.
Man who lay woman on ground have peace (piece) on earth.
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands..
Man who is jacking into a peanut butter jar is ******* nuts.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
Man who fly upside-down have crack up!
He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
When lady say no, she mean maybe
when lady say maybe, she mean yes
when lady say yes, she no lady
He who rapes a man's daughter, draws and quarters his
son, and buries his wife alive in an anthill should not expect to
sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.
He who outruns the cheetah is ******* fast on his feet!
There is no such thing as rape; Woman run faster with skirt
up, than Man with pants down.
Man who take lady on camping trip have one intent.
Man who put head on railroad track
get splitting headache
He who pull out to fast leave rubber behind.
He who refuses to listen is lying.
He who stands in corner with hands in pocket
doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.