What will be my answer to my son?

Question

Last Monday, I came back from my office and I found my son (grade I student) is crying. Asking him the reason he just burst out and told me that he will not go to school anymore. I came to know the reason. Just immediate after he entered school, every moments he was asked by his friends, why he is not wearing a brand shirt like NIKE etc? He did never tell me that but yesterday might be he could not just control himself while his friends told him somehting very serious about his dress and about the status of his parents. I found him so considerable at this age than other kids I have seen. I heard this kind of things from other parents who faced same problem but could not find any solution unless they are earning a lot and buying dresses like that. What will be my answer to my son while he asked me "Dad, do you want me to go to school anymore?"

Yes, to be honest I cant afford him. I have other kids they are growing. I have limited income.
How to get rid of this from the school environment? Can authority take any initiatives?

Answer 1

While it would be fine and dandy to say to him that kids are just mean and that your son needs to be his own person, don't let what kids say bother him and so on. No matter what you say, the peer pressure will still exist. Not to say that we should always give in and spoil our kids, but I think the best solution is to get him the Nike shirts etc.Help the little guy out if you have the means...

The school can solve this problem in one way: school uniforms which they have done here to solve this exact problem. This doesn't help your affordability issue.

Answer 2

you know what as a kid i faced the same problem as your son. Now, that is a long time ago, but let me tell you how my parents helped me over this experience.

First of all, after recognizing that i went to a school with a bunch of spolied brats with rich parents, they moved me to a school where the kids had uniform. It took me a couple of months to get used to the new school, kids etc but it was worth it

My parents also had an open and frank discussion with me. They told me the household income was a fixed amount and that we spend it all based on our necessities. We pay rent, food, gas etc and these are the top priorities. If there is money left we can always buy clothing, but would you rather have 5 new shirts or a single Nike shirt?

They also promised that whenever there is extra cash, they would buy me branded clothing etc and that usually happened during special occasions such as birthdays etc.

What made the big difference was what they told me about how lucky i am!!
when you compare, plz make sure you dont look at the rich only, look at the homeless, the poor both locally and abroad. they made sure i watched the new to see those in africa who cant afford to have a decent meal. That really made it for me, it made me content about what i have and i never gave a damn about it ever again.

Hope the above helps, good luck

Answer 3

If he can trust you for such personally touching matters then that's a good starting point; if not, cultivate some confidence build up first. children are very sensitive, don't act in a way that would betray your dilemma.Let him know you are still in control.
Try selling this to him; have him see that you don't live in same houses for a start; explain the reason is because of having different tastes and so live differently. Also let him see that you are not what other people are saying we should.
I confronted, let him show off something that others don't have and build his courage and boldness from there. The fact that he doesn't have what others don't have doesn't mean that he doesn't also have what others don't have.
Let him know also that we go to school to learn an that when boys begin taunting him, it's only that they have lost focus of their being in school. Hope this will work. Thanks.

Answer 4

Oh God! Children's problems are so difficult for adults.

Try to explain to him that Nike are bad people because hire children in the poor countries to work for them for misery salaries and you don't want to allow that to happen to those children.

I'm not sure if this is an apropriate thing to explain to a child but at least it's a true fact.

A second posibility would be to explain to him that it doesn't really matter what you wear but what you think. But this would be even more difficult.

This are the best solutions I could think of. Sorry for couldn't do more.

You'll find some info about the Nike issue in the link bellow.

Answer 5

He can tell them these brand-wearing dingbats are nothing but a billboard for large corporations that are using them to make millions and enslave people in poor countries.

He needs to rethink his 'friends': They pick on him because THEY'RE insecure and don't know how to deal with it.

Teach him about priorities. If he had $20 to last him until the end of the month, would he buy flour or a t-shirt? OK, now what's he going to eat?

This is an extremely tough time for kids(having survived it myself). He'll be stronger for it in the long run, but this cliqueish phase sucks.

Answer 6

Ignore the folks who tell you not to eat and work days and nights to buy things for your kids. They can choose to do it their way but they have no right to criticize you. You don't want to drop down when you're the only breadwinner in the family. Take care of your health by eating and spend time with your kids. Kids will appreciate parents spending time with them. It will mean more to them that whatever expensive things you get for them. They'll see it as they grow older. Goodness, if you work 2 jobs, you'll never get to see your kids!! And you won't have the time to be around to see them growing up & influencing their values.

You are not being wrong if you tell your son that you can't afford it. It is just a shirt, not something that defines him as a person. He is still young and slowly he will learn that what he is inside is more than what material possessions he has. He has siblings, a family, a dad who takes care of him. You buy it, he'll chuck it out 1 year later or less. What's more worthy, his time with his family and dad he gets to see or a shirt? He has nothing to feel ashamed of. Question the value of what something is worth before knocking himself out over it. Peer pressure can be great, but when he shows that he can understand your situation, he is on his way to growing up and being more than what his so called friends make him out to be. It's what you make of what you have and of yourself that counts.

If he really wants that shirt, then he has to earn it by maybe taking a part time job to earn the money to pay for it. It will teach him the value of hard earned money. Maybe then he'll start to differentiate between what he should really value.

Answer 7

well may be he needs to be explained the morals that a brand hardly matters and being influential he could start his own trend etc.

the other thingis that he needs to be explained the fact that going to school is more imp than any other thing he faces there

and i m sure the school authorities might crtainly put a check on such abusing

i know it might be very difficult on ur side but ne ways all the best im sure he will understand as u have understood him too


yes the kick boxing lesson should help too

Answer 8

Not that you want to conform to the pressures of society, but if you think it will make him feel better if he has a few brand name things - shop garage sales or ebay. Ebay is really easy to use, and a lot of times, people sell clothes in bulk lots per size. They are relatively cheap most of the time. Try and start him on a minimal allowance if he isn't on one already and let him save his money and use it towards a few t shirts, etc. Kids can be horribly mean. I feel so bad for your son.

Answer 9

Tell him that there is nothing wrong with the way he dress up. It is also fine wearing signature clothes provided you have enough money to spend for that over above all your expenses. Be open to him that there are other things you need to buy or pay off to live comfortably. Assure hum that if you have extra you will buy him one or you will save for that. Tell him too that it will not make him less as a person if he can't wear such shirts/clothes.

Answer 10

Everyone seems to be right about giving him support and letting him know that it's not how you dress that's important. There are allot of discount stores that you can shop at and find stylish clothing. I've been doing it with my children for years and they seem to be satisfied. I do every once in awhile by them something new that they really want if I have the money to do so.