how do i get grandkids to think before they act? We can't make the list -- it's too long.?

Question

They seem to think they have permission to touch everything, do anything, that interests them despite having been told numerous times:
Don't
walk in flower bed
color on tv screen
ride toy fire truck in street
poke stick in sisters eye
come out of bathroom without washing hands
sit on wall
pull on cord, etc. etc.

Looking for a way to get each of them (five, ages 2 -- 8 to think first, then DON'T DO IT.

We haven't been able to anticipate everything they seem to come up with.

They are precious and loveable, and we enjoy them dearly MOST OF THE TIME. But they're curiousity? is getting more dangerous as they get older and bolder.

Help, they are with us for 5 more days.

Thanks for first two responses -- I hav spoken to my daughter, their mom, who says she's been having the same problem for several years.
It seems the problem isn't what's being TAUGHT -- its what's being grasped or LEARNED.

I think the kids have a perception of permission, even though when I ask them questions about such behaviors, they know the correct answer.
But there seems to be no thinking before acting. (I hope I'm not beating the horse, here.)

Answer 1

You seriously need to speak to their parents. Some of today's parents do not set out what is acceptable behavior for their children and as such with no parameters, no boundaries and no limits. Somehow these parents seem to think that their children will magically develop into responsible adults. I have to burst the bubble and tell them it is a lifetime process.These are usually the parents who are amazed that their children are problems and will say "what happened".When you speak to their parents let them know as much as you love your grandchildren that you cannot take the stress of their behavior. They are more than welcome to visit with them but until the children understand the words respect and no that they cannot stay without the parents. I taught my daughters what no meant and it never meant maybe.I never put up items so they wouldn't break because I expected my children to not touch in someone else's home.(I did put up some special items from deceased family members which could never be replaced)Children get their foundation for life at home, make sure they build a strong one. As parents we are the architect.

Answer 2

It is their parents' responsibility to teach them not to do such things. Otherwise, the kids won't know that these thigs are wrong.

For example, I NEVER allow my kids to eat or draw anywhere but at the table. Therefore, when they go to their grandparents, they never draw on the furniture or get food on the couch.

Since they are now at your home, and it is too late (at least this time around) for their parents to teach them these things, I suggest you do the following:
1. Buy a package of stickers.
2. Tell the kids that each time you see their behavior is good, they will get a sticker on a chart.
3. Explain what "good" is and is not (no coloring TV, yes washing hands after toilet).
4. Tell them that everyone will get a small prize each day if they get more than X stickers, and the one with the most stickers gets a big prize. The prize can be a sweet, a little toy, or a workbook.

I hate bribing kids, but you have no choice at this point...
Good Luck!

P.S. You would be totally right to tell the parents that they need to teach certain things to the kids.

Answer 3

There's probably going to be a lot more times, but just keep trying. Whenever they do something, say what was wrong about what they did and then offer what would have been acceptable for them to do (asking to go to a nearby park instead of messing in the flower bed). The younger the child, the simpler you'll have to keep it. However, the more persistant you are about responding to the behaviors and encouraging the good ones, the better they'll be about not doing the bad stuff.

Answer 4

I dont understand some of the answerers who feel its the parents responsiblility to teach the kids. It takes a villiage to raise a child people!! You are grandparent to these children ...of course you should lay down the laws in your home. Every parent knows that what you teach your child and what you child does can be 10 different endings. Kids will do what they can get a way with or what they THINK they can get a way with. When your grandchildren do things you dont think they should or want them to...do your part as a grandparent and get in their asss. Don't EVER let ANYONE think they can come in your home and do what they want

Answer 5

For the younger ones a smack on the hand with the word NO!
the older ones time out. Sit them in a boring room or place with nothing to do for as many minutes as their age eg: 8 years=8 minutes

Answer 6

Yes, answers one and two are the way to go. Don't think of it as bribery, think of it as positive reinforcement. The little one can go on time out also. Two minutes for age two. I wouldn't smack their little hands unless they were putting them somewhere dangerous like an electrical plug. Try to keep them entertained as a group. Take them to a park or playground to get rid of all that excess energy. Good luck.

Answer 7

This is something that needs to be handled on the parents' end, I think. Even though they are with you often, it's their parents' job to make the rules and enforce them, as THEY are the childrens' parents, not you.

Do you feel comfortable talking with your children to tell them that their kids are misbehaving?

If they won't listen to you, or think that it's not a problem, think back...what did you do when you were raising your children to get them to not hit their siblings, tramp through the flowers, etc.?

You really need to collaborate with their parents though...if they're telling them one thing, and you're telling them another, the kids will be confused and really won't listen to anything you tell them.

Answer 8

Wait til you have Great-grandkids !
Seriously
use your energy to protect them from danger,
ofcourse...but don't sweat the 'little' things ~