How about this one?
Joe and Mike are enjoying a great round of golf one day, when all of a sudden - lightning begins to strike all around them. Following the cardinal rule in this situation, Joe begins to briskly walk towards the clubhouse, as does everyone else on the course. Joe looks back at Mike who, instead, pulls out his 1-iron and begins to wave it high up in the air, intent on waiting the lightning storm out. Puzzled by this, Joe asks Mike why he was doing such a ludicrous act, to which Joe replies "Simple - even God can't hit a 1-iron"
2006-06-14 22:48:24 · 11 answers · asked by G-man 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A guy and his girlfriend is watching golf and one of the players hits a hole in one so the girl says why cant u ever find the hole on the first try
2006-06-14 22:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by Young boi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best Golf Joke Ever
2016-12-10 17:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by russ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A golf course pro was giving a lovely young lady a lesson. While teaching her how to putt, she just couldn't get it straight, so he asked if she woud allow him to put his arms around her waist, to show her how to stroke the ball. She said okay, and so he stood behind her, and put his hands over hers on the grip of the golf club. They did a number of practice putts, when they became aware that the fabric of the lady's skirt had become caught in the man's zipper. So they commenced an awkward, four-legged walk toward the clubhouse, where they could get some help in getting untangled. Just before they could get to the door of the clubhouse, a dog came running around the corner of the building and doused them with a bucket of water.
2006-06-15 00:08:00 · answer #3 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple playing golf manage to hit the ball into a house. When they approach the house they see a man with a turban sitting on the table with a vase broken on the floor. The man asks... "Are you a gennie?"... The guy says yes... and I will give you only one wish as you broke my home and on one condition, I have my way with your wife. The guy agrees and wishes for a million dollars. The guy blinks and says done. The man quickly rushes to check his bank balance. The guy has his way with the wife and asks... how old is your husband? Wife says "35"... to which the guy says "And he still believes in Geenie stuff?"
2006-06-14 23:24:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says," How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little four-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he had seen them. She says, "You'll be the first, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says, "Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"
2006-06-14 22:54:44 · answer #5 · answered by trivia buff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tigers BMW
On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those, son?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on the God's earth are they fer?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger.
"Jaysus," says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everythin."
2006-06-14 23:16:04 · answer #6 · answered by sakura4eternity 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got one that goes back a few years
(i cant rememeber all of it word for word)
An american ambassador is going to Japan to start work there. One night he picks up a hooker and takes her home for the night. while their having sex she's going (i dont remember the exact word) something like "Argua" argua over and over agian
The man knows very little Japanese so he assumes she's cheering him on.
The next day he is to play golf with a Japanese government guy and their playing and the guy hits a hole in one. the American says "aruga"
The japanese guy turns around "What do you mean wrong hole"
2006-06-14 23:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by clomtancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ronnie Corbett (Two Ronnies) told a joke about how his wife yelled at him that all he thinks about is golf. He eats golf, drinks golf etc. He said it frightened the life out of him as he wasn't expecting to see anyone on the sixth hole at 3am.
2006-06-14 22:55:37 · answer #8 · answered by akl3d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur was good, listen to mine =
Religious battle golf
The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.
"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.
"Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!"
"No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."
hope u like it
plz give me 10 pts
2006-06-14 22:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Gary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a chance to play a round with Nick Faldo, after we had finished I asked him what did he think of my game?
Not bad , he said but he still preferred Golf.
2006-06-14 23:30:02 · answer #10 · answered by Steve A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋