Please can i have some blonde Jokes?

Answer 1

Why did the blonde spend all day walking around PC world?

Because she was looking for a white ink cartridge

Answer 2

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The son of a ***** called back."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A blonde walked into a library and said, "Can I have a burger and fries?"

The librarian said in a whisper, "Sorry, this is a library."

So she whispered, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

After a bizarre cliff side accident, all eleven members of the women's outing found themselves hanging perilously from a rope over the edge of the cliff.

Ten of the women were blondes and one was a brunette.

After dangling there for a only a short while it became obvious that the rope would not hold all their collective weight.

They decided that to prevent the rope snapping and killing them all, one of them must sacrifice themselves and let go, to save the others.

Well, they talked about it for a while but no one could decide a fair way of choosing who should jump.

Finally, the brunette, exasperated by the indecisiveness of the blondes, could see that if nobody acted soon the rope was going to snap.

To save the others she bravely decided that it must be her who made the sacrifice.

She plucked up a little courage and told the others that she would jump to save them.

After giving a short but very moving speech that she hoped would be remembered after she'd gone, the blondes were so moved that they all started clapping!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Three women are about to be executed.

One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did.

The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "FIRE!!!"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police
cruiser pulled her over.

The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.

She asked for the blonde's driver's license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?'

Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.

She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

Answer 3

An intelligent blonde was opening her morning paper, when she noticed a page filled from top to bottom with dumb blonde jokes. Needless to say, this put her in a very bad mood, which continued as she drove to work.
On her way to work, she happened to glance out of the drivers side window, where there was a vast field of tall grass.In the middle of the field sat another blonde in a rowing boat, pulling away at the oars as fast as she could go, even though the boat, naturally wasn't moving.
The intelligent blonde woman pulled over, jumped out her car and shouted to the blonde in the rowing boat:"It's blondes like you who give us all a bad name!"
The blonde in the rowing boat stopped rowing for a second and shouted back:"Yeah? Well, if i could swim, i'd come out there and kick your ****!"

Answer 4

This blonde rings her boyfriend in a tizzy.
'Baby Im so upset and flustered I have been trying to do this jigsaw all morning and whatever I do the pieces dont seem to fit, can you please come over and help me'
The man scratches his head, he really is rather busy but then again this girl is sooo hot he decides feck it, I'll go over.
He walks in the room and looks down at the table and says to her.
'Honey, you are trying too hard and you need to relax so dont worry about it any more and put all the frosties back in the box.'

Answer 5

old and you probably heard them

how do you change a blonds's mind?

blow in her ear.

what do you call two brunettes on the side of a blond's?

interpreters

how do you know when a brunette was using the computer?

there are eraser marks on the screen.

how do you know a blonde was using the computer?

there is white out all over the screen.


a blonde rode the city bus everyday and she had her headset on all the time, never took it off.
some bad kids got on the bus and would see her everyday and decided to take her headset off her head
she immediately fell to the floor and the other passengers was trying to revive her.
when she fell the kids dropped her headset on the floor and ran, someone decided to pick up her headset after they heard a noise coming out of it and listened to what it was saying.
BREATH IN, BREATH OUT, BREATH IN, BREATH OUT.........

have fun

Answer 6

A young blonde goes to the doc 4 a physical. The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the gal's chest & says: Big breaths.
The girl replies: Yeth & I'm not even 16.

Answer 7

During a meeting the boss asks the Blond secretary for some scratch paper. She asks what is that so he gives her a blank sheet and says "like this". She takes the sheet and Xeroxes it and returns with the copies.

Answer 8

a blonde and a brunette jump off a cliff who hits the ground first?
the brunette
(the blonde stopped to ask for directions)

Answer 9

A blonde breaks a window.Looking at it, she says Its worse than I thought , it is broken on both sides.

Answer 10

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Stick a burning match into her ear!