At what age does time out really work?

Question

Our son is 2 1/2 and time out has not worked for us. We don't have a room that he can't do something wrong in to use and having him sit on the bottom step of our stairs or a chair doesn't work. We have to practically hold him there which isn't beneficial in any way. I bought a travel crib but he would just climb out. We have spanked him and he usually avoids that but we don't want to spank him or scare him into obeying the rules...we want him to have respect for us and not fear us. We need ideas on how to impliment time out for a young toddler with a lot of energy. Any ideas?

Answer 1

Time out never has worked for my ten year old son. I have never really found a punishment for him that really worked other then a lecture or house cleaning. He hates both. As far as my daughter (6) goes, telling her that she is a bad girl is all I need to do. You have to find out what will work best for your own child.

Answer 2

Time outs do not work. If you want your child to learn self-control then don't use time out. Time outs are a way for you to control your child, does not teach self-control, and causes resentment, is shaming, and causes anger. Time outs are a form of punishment, not discipline.

Logical and natural consequence are the best forms of discipline. for example, if a child spills his milk, he cleans it. If a child hurts someone, the person does not want to play with them. If a child is throwing a tantrum, they get put into an area until they are ready to calm down. Taking away a toy if the child draws on the wall is not a logical consequences. Taking away a toy if the child throws it or is destructive with it is logical. Let the type of discipline fit the crime.

If a child is misbehaving and a logical or natural consequence cannot work, get to his level and say "I don't' like when you (explain what and why in very few words)" take them gently to and area away from you and say "When you are ready to (listen, behave...) then you can come back. You can put him on the step and stay close by to keep him there. This is not a time out because you are not setting a time limit (you controlling your son). Your son returns or gets up when he is ready to control his behavior. It may take several tries. You may have to return him to the selected area a few time or sit with him until he feels ready. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 3

Time out worked for us when our daughter was about 3 1/2. Don't abuse the time out system or the effects of it being a punishment will wear off. For a younger child having tantrums, I found that completely ignoring them worked. They eventually forget why they are having their tantrum in the first place. Sometime, distraction can work also. Take him away from what it is that is causing the problem and start to play another game, or sing a song with him. He will soon forget.

Answer 4

Consistancy is the KEY always.

Try time outs first as a chair - we have an "Ugly" Chair at that age, make them sit there until they feel nice. 10 seconds at 2 1/2 is okay. But be consistant. HE should choose when he feels nice he can rejoin the group.

Plus dont give him time outs for every thing that pisses you off - hitting , yelling at you YES, but not sticking his hand into the mashed potatoes

HE IS ONLY 2 1/2 - although it may seem like he is much older

Answer 5

Time outs work well for my 3 children. I count to 3 and then if the behavior hasn't stopped or isn't corrected, they have a time out. 1 minute per year of their age. I just find a spot and they have the time out there. My youngest is 21 months and we have to supervise his time-outs because he does get up. My middle child will scream through the time out but sometimes putting a toy in time out works better for her. We also make the punishment fit the crime, so to speak. If the pour something out on the floor intentionally, they clean it up. If they make a mess in a room, they pick it up. Also, try reading Dr. Dobson's book "The Strong Willed Child." Great insight.

Answer 6

try to be consistent- whatever method you pick. If you want to use time out, pick a chair or wherever you feel is best. We use a chair in the living room - my daughter has her toys in that room, but she isn't allowed to play with them in time out. At first she would get up off the chair and we put her back on. Just keep putting him back on if he gets up - you may have to do it a million times. And remember, the time out needs to be age appropriate - one minute for each year of life - so two minutes right now. When time out is up, reexplain what was the undesired behavior and have them apologize. Be on their level when you do this. Try to remain calm too - lots of times kids push the behavior when they know it gets their parents upset. That gives them the power so while you may be angry inside, be calm and collected on the outside so you remain in control of the situation. I hope that helps some!

Answer 7

Ok, Mr and Mrs Hitler,

Please remember, he is 2 1/2, not 10! Every kid has to learn and this comes through consistency and hard work on your part. Keep to one routine and dont back down.

We use the stair (or front door) method where our daughter is sent there just to chill for a few minutes. It begins with one of us having to stand there ensuring she stays there, but in time you can send them and they will stay.

Answer 8

My son is 2 1/2 also and time out works for us most of the time, but every kid is different...the most important thing is to be consistant. We always put him in the same corner and set the timer on the microwave. If he gets out of the corner, we tell him that it's either time out, or bed time...most of the time he will go back...if he doesn't, I take him straight to his bed and I make him stay in his room for a few minutes.

Answer 9

COMPROMISE its psychological blackmail in essence... for example tell him things like, if you do that again you get no (think of something he likes or wants) or think of something he is afraid of ( ours was the hoover or phone the police ) and warn / ask him if he wants you to get the hoover out or phone the police and tell him you will if he does it again, but nothing too scary (like time out or spanking) or it will give him nightmares at 3am in the morning and start hitting other kids when he starts nursery

Answer 10

every kids different maybe time outs not for him.maybe take way something he enjoys for a proper amount of time for a 2 1/2 year old. in my experience with 3 kids 2aren't terrible it turn 3 that's worse. there not baby's any more and there not big kids yet so he probably is testing you.