Were you ever beaten when you were younger and your parent/s denied it? How do you cope?

Question

My mum used to belt, slap drag, hit and lay on me (She was a very big woman). But nowadays she completely denys she ever did it and I am lying. It still effects me, I just don't know how to completely get over it. My dad used to do nothing about it, but last year he said sorry and he should of done something...I am at rest with him and forgive and understand.....as my mum ruled the house and gambled away all his money from the army.

I'm 22 now and my mum keeps telling everyone I'm a liar if I bring it up......*sighs* I have cut and tried to commit suicide when I was 16 twice......but I'm over that..........though I feel that there are other people worse off than me that need more help.

Answer 1

I am very sorry for your pain, I was never beaten as a child, spanked yes, but beaten no. You may need help to forgive your mom, I am not saying go be best buddies, you may never say another word to her again and it would be just. but you need to forgive her then forget about her. This way you can move on with your life. The reason she denys it is because she is extremely remorseful, but can't express how sorry she is. She must have had a abusive childhood. Please don't let your anger for her comsume your life.

Answer 2

You may never get over it, and this is an issue where a good counselor could help. You can at least learn some coping tools and you seem to already know it was not your fault, but some insanity on your mothers part. (Your dad needs a foot in the rear, too!! Oops, I guess that would also be abuse, but he definitly should have stepped in to protect you!)

Answer 3

Back when I was a kid it was ok to whip your kids I guess. We got belted and whipped pretty bad too and when I tried to talk to my Mom about it years later, she just says it wasn't really that bad. But what helped me since I can't talk to her about it was to write her a very long letter and put all my feelings in it and then I never sent it. It was a great healing thing for me. That's about the only advice I can give. If you have brothers or sisters, sometimes talking to them about what happened can help too if they are on your side. Sometimes families divide over certain issues. I hope you are able to heal from the past and have a wonderful future ahead. Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

Yes my mum was the first person to ever give me a black eye she would whip me with a curtain rod punch me in the face tie me up in her room so i couldn't run away i once had to jump out of a 2 story building to get away from her. i have 2 children of my own now and i get along with her well but i don't like talking to her about any of it because her version of things is alot different to mine she forgets that i was there and i know the truth so as long as we don't mention it i forgive her but it is still a very touchy subject with me................................I also have had a lot of problems resulting from it i use to cut too i attempted suicide a couple of times was on all different sorts of anti depressants medication and was in councelling for years i don't think she will ever admit what she did she makes out like she was the perfect mother and it makes me sick but i try to forgive her because it only hurts me to hate her

Answer 5

Well ur not alone for 3 and a half years of my childhood my mom use to do horible things to me I cant even list them here to name a few lock me in closets days without food or water she kicked me pulled my hair out and did worst things to my siblings (sexual things to them not me) I think abuse always affects you but u cant let it go on you must say not me and never act like the abuser cuse thats how abuse continues , I cope buy A. I know it happened but promise myself I wont let that happen to my future children I also am not going to advise consoling like everyone else dose it makes u more depresed then you were to start with as dose the pills they'd want to put you on sometimes talking to friends about that can help u cope .

Answer 6

I never was beaten, but my mother used to stick things in my vagina after I'd have a bath, when I was little.
I kept infections and she wouldn't take me to the doctor.
Now she pretends like nothing ever happened. I never say anything about it, and I think she thinks I don't remember it.
What's done is done.

Answer 7

OMG!! That sounds like my life..except my mom didnt gamble. I hurt myself alot too..but i think it was cuz i wanted to hurt her. My dad stopped me once from stabbing her in her sleep. He's appologized to me as well..tho he only ever hurt me once (when i lost my virginity..he was so mad) But said he couldnt fight her..she was Satan in the flesh. I had 2 sisters and a brother. None of them ever went through what i did. Dad said..he always knew that i would be the strong one. That even though I'd been treated so low all my young life..that it would make a better person. My sisters and brother are addicts of hard drugs. Havent got a pot to piss in. I have everything I need..and respect. He was right..it did make me better..tho there are of course more humane ways to raise a good kid. I was soo afraid of her..you didnt breath funny around that woman or I'd scrubbing blood out of the carpet..again and again. It was about 6 mos. before she died..that we started talking. She never appologized..tho she had told a friend of mine..how horrible she had been to me..would have meant alot for her to tell ME..but she never did. I still yell and cuss at her ghost. But in my case..I guess I could have ended up like my siblings..guess it worked..as sick as it sounds. I couldnt imagine being you..still having your mom here..and not owning up to causing you so much pain. She's a sick woman..and if it were me..I'd have nothing to do with her..till she fessed up and at least oppoligized..and not make you look or sound stupid when she lies about it..you went through enough of that as a kid. I hate your mom.

Answer 8

i really had to flow to college dances yet I wasn't allowed to. i had to flow to Mortuary college even as i ended severe college yet that grow to be thwarted because i grow to be a lady and it grow to be not an easy occupation for women decrease back contained in the 60's. The Dean of the faculty instructed me I ought to come across a sensible youthful guy, marry him and performance toddlers and if I nonetheless felt like i had to artwork that I ought to grow to be a nurse!!

Answer 9

Wow that sucks. Just tell her how you really feel. Don't be afraid to fight back, show her that you're not afraid. Just letting you know one thing. Don't cut, once you do, you'll kinda regret it.

You can/should call social services *w/e it is*
I'm not sure this'll help, but good luck.

Answer 10

There are many support groups. But you need to act now or you'll end up in a cycle of wondering if/when your spouse will beat you as well.