Big Phobia: Driving. How do I overcome it?

Question

I have not gotten my driver's licence yet because I have a difficult time getting myself into the driver's seat of a vehicle without having what I would consider close to a panic attack or a nervous breakdown. Some of this might stem from a father who tended to be violent in the car (because he pretty much had the family 'trapped' in the car when he was driving) when I was younger. Other possibilities could be fears of crashing and hurting someone or something just unknown to me.

I would like some suggestions on how to help deal/overcome this phobia. I am out of high school and I have managed to simply walk everywhere's I've needed to for the last few years, however, it is getting to the point that I will not be able to do this anymore. Mainly it is hindering what jobs I can take. Talking with a psychologist is not an option at the moment as that would take a car to get there...

Wow... Let me say I'm honestly surprised at how many people have (had) this situation. I didn't expect so many thoughtful answers in such short of time. ^.^;

A few additional father tidbits:
Fortunately, I do not live with my father anymore. My parents have been divorced for a few years now though there are still court/custody issues (over a younger sibling). I decided back then that it was best not to have contact with my father because he is a relatively unstable man. I have been content with that decision so far.

Answer 1

hi randomnight

i think the best that u can do is first get into the drivers seat and just get comfortable sitting there. put ur seatbelt on, and play with the gears (if its a stick) and just imagine yourself driving. think about nothing else except you and the car and driving. once u get comfy in the drivers seat, try starting the car and get used to that. dont think about your dad, cos he's not there with you and i assume he will never be with you in the car. go to a place where u can be far away from him. take one step at a time. play some relaxing music in the car and thing of things that relax you. you can do this if you put your mind to it and take it easy.

do this for yourself and show the person that hurt you that you are worth more than that and proe that u can overcome anything.

i hope this helps you.....

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I didn't drive until I was 25 and on my third marriage (but that's really another story), because my grandmother and my mother never drove and were afraid and dependent on others, and I guess I thought that's just what women did. lol It can be done, though. My husband was very patient with me and not a nervous type. I learned well enough that within a couple of years I was confident enough to take a job with the post office (driving to deliver the mail) and to trade off driving with my husband when we went across the country! So hang in there. There is much good advice here. Practice and take it slow until you feel in control of the car and not vice versa. You will get there. I still have a few phobias, but I won't lay them on you. Don't want you to get any ideas, lol, and it does not keep me from driving, just makes me a bit more careful.

Answer 4

I don't drive either!! I got my permit when I was a teenager but I never really wanted to get a license, I have the same fears of getting into an accident; when I was younger I was sick all the time, and my family kept telling me that I wouldn't be able to do very much when I'm older, which is partially where my fear comes from. Why don't you have someone drive you to the psychologist office? You have to take small steps and then larger ones, but you have to try.

It sounds like your father was in control when you were younger...and that brings about bad memories when you're in the car...in order to get over these bad memories, you have to learn to take control of the situation for yourself. If your father is still around, you should tell him how he made you feel when you were a kid; if he's not around, I would try to write him a letter, don't mail it, just write it and tell him exactly how he made you feel and why you're angry with him. It might make you feel a little better.

You have to get over the control he had over you before you will be safe enough to drive.

Good luck, hope everything works out. :)

Answer 5

I haven't made my license yet either for the same reason as you and i am 26 years old.
I am scared i will wreck, i am scared someone will run into me, i am scared cause i have anxiety and nervousness and i do take medicine for that (xanax) and it does help.
I can drive a little bit but i am afraid to be in there by myself but when my husband is in there i want everything to be quiet and then their is my 4 year old son in the back so i am scared that i will hurt him by driving.

I am going to try to make my licsence sometime between now and when school starts back cause my son will be going to school for the 1st time and i need to drive cause i think what if he gets sick and needs picked up. I can't call on others to go and pick my son up for me and if my husband is at work then what you know.
So i am going to have to get over it for my son and myself cause i am stuck at the house all day long cause i can't drive well i don't have a license.
Just get a friend someone that won't scream at you while your trying to drive and go from there. Just drive like a mile then go longer the next time and so on until you are driving on your own without being scared.

Maybe you need something for anxiety and nervousness--go see a doctor for that.

i wish you and me both the best of luck to finally start driving and stop being so scared

Answer 6

Woah, I didn't know so many people had this phobia either!
I'm 21 and I waited so long to try to get my license that I've been stressing over it. ......But TODAY I drove my aunt all day long.....even on the highway! I had been practicing a little before that though. Just make sure you get familiar with the car you're driving. Know where everything is and it's functions. Make sure the person who goes with you isn't the nervous type----that will make you nervous----trust me. My aunt is a freak. But I made it through and after some time on the road, i was relaxed. I found that talking to myself out loud about whta I was doing or about to do helped calm me a lot.
You just gotta do it. Make yourself.

Answer 7

The only way to overcome a phobia is to immerse yourself in it. It takes a lot of self control and confidence in yourself that you can handle it.

Try sitting in the car without the car keys anywhere near you or the car. This will help you believe that nothing can go wrong. Visualise driving slowly and cautiously. Go through all the motions as if you were really driving while constantly reminding yourself that nothing can go wrong while you are in there. It should help you become more comfortable within the confines of your vehicle.

Answer 8

First drive in a car that you are familiar with.
Put all the windows down so you don't feel trapped. Drive by yourself in an empty parking lot. Take your time . Concentrate on everything, then slowly take the car out onto the street. Most of all keep your mind on your driving and not other things around you.

Answer 9

You say that you think your phobia could be to do with your fathers driving technique and that you felt trapped when with him. I really think this is the root of your concerns rather than fear of crashing.

Try to think of you driving as taking control of this situation. You are in charge of where you drive, how fast you drive, HOW you drive.

All drivers worry about accidents but they happen and usually there is very little you can do about that. Drive sensibly and always remain observant of your surroundings while driving and the risk is reduced dramatically.

Good Luck

Answer 10

I was afraid and a co worker told me she was afraid but she just got in the car and forced herself to drive a little each day untill she was no longer scared. She said "It's just something you got to do." I did not get my license untill I was 21 though and I never did overcome my fear. I get in a car and I am scared but I turn on a station I like and just drive. Remembe it is OK to have a fear just don't let yor fear have you. It may help if you have a good trusted friend in the passenger seat who can instruct you.