Im in love with a married man. I have 2 kids and he pays their school fees,buy clothes but they are not his.I have started c.i.p.s and he is the one who is paying tution fee
2006-06-14 19:52:24 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you have to ask complete strangers if it is wrong then I am guessing that deep down you know it really is. By asking this question are you feeling guilt or are trying to justify yours and his actions?
2006-06-14 19:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by wannaknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at what is going on
He is paying, you are giving him something. Stop giving him that something and see if he continues to pay and then you'll soon find out what his intentions are.
By paying for everything, he is MAKING YOU DEPENDANT ON HIM. Probably so you will not leave him, or tell his wife about the situation. it suits him for one reason or another. Do you really want to be in this position or would you rather be a free thinking woman in charge of her own destiny?
Either he feels guilty and chooses to make this up to you with material things because he in his *weakness* can't bear to make either one person unhappy by choosing one or another
Or he is trying his best to keep you happy so you don't demand more committment from him or ask him to choose.
Whichever way, he is controlling you with money and you are allowing it.
Fact is, he's spending a lot on you and that leaves a paper trail. His wife is going to find out one day and then the proverbial *will* hit the fan. This should not be a factor in whether you decide you are behaving immorally or not, getting caught out is not really good a reason for you to deem that something is wrong.
This situation is destructive.
You are with somebody who is lying, either because they are weak or god forbid because they are evil. This is no basis upon which to found or foster a relationship which is healthy.
I would encourage you to ask him to make a choice and to do both you and his wife the respect of being honest. This is the only means beyond ending the relationship by which you can have a relationship without a future that involves emotional disaster for all concerned.
Since I know you are not going to want to hear or heed any advice which might tilt you in favour of walking away from this man for good, I suggest you give some serious thought as to telling him that honesty is the best policy.
One day she will find out- make no mistake, and it is better to be told than for it to happen by accident or investigation. Do you honestly think that after she finds out about this he will continue to pay. Surely you would be better off paying your own bills. What will your children do when he suddenly realises he has been found out and his wife will no longer allow him to do this? Depending on this man is dangerous for you and your kids.
If after she does find out he cheated with you you and he still continues to see you and pay all your bills I will be truly overhwhelmed with shock. Either way you will know for real whether he loves you or - as I personally suspect, is using you for some other reason.
Good luck
S
x
2006-06-14 22:40:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of all the attributes you could have stated about the married man, the ones that bring you financial advantage are at the top of your list. It gives the appearance that your love may be more for what your receive financially, rather than emotionally. Best that he go back to his wife get a better perspective on life before disaster takes away that option forever.
2006-06-14 20:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding us or yourself? A married man belongs to someone else, namely his wife! You have no right to cross the boundary of marriage.
What he has done to HER is what he will do to you. You should expect and require more worth and value from a mate. You should expect and require more for yourself and your children.
Simple because a man or person pays a bill for you does mean he is in love with you or your children.
Relationships are based in loyalty, honesty and commitment. This man has none of these. And I would venture to say that your own self worth should be evaluated.
I would NOT allow a man of such moral degrade to be apart of my life or my children's life.
Succeed on your own. Seek relationships that compliment your life and not complicate it.
Give yourself a few days to think this over............
2006-06-14 20:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took 3 yrs, but last summer, I was finally able to marry the man I fell in love with. We had known each other since 96, but we were both with other people. After I left my ex in 02, we started having an affair. He was still married at the time, but everyone around knew it was just a matter of time. He had 2 kids, and he stayed for them. Anyway, after about 6 mos, we had fallen madly in love with each other, but we both knew we couldnt be together just then. It hurt like hell, but I walked away and didnt talk to him or his wife for 3 years. If we were ever going to be together, I couldnt be the reason they split up. They both had to KNOW that there was nothing left. During that time, they got divorced, and she moved on with her girlfriend that she had been having an affair with longer than he and I had. He got everything, she got her freedom, which was all she wanted. Last summer, I picked up the phone and called him, and just the sound of his voice made me melt. We talked daily for a month or so, and I knew I was still in love with him. And I also knew that if I ever saw him again, I wouldnt be able to walk away ever again. I came to his house one day, and that was it. We were free to love each other and be together and its been the best feeling I've ever known. We got married last August, and its been nothing short of amazing. It took a long time, and alot of heartache not knowing if we would ever be together, but in the end, its definitely worth it. He truly is the love of my life.
2006-06-19 20:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by tonysdoll815 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice that he's helping out with things but I just worry that you will be left feeling empty and you will never have someone who is 100% committed to you. Plus if you are waiting for him to leave his wife you might never meet a guy who will be completely committed. I've been involved with a guy who was married and had 2 kids and even though he always told me what I wanted/needed to hear, ultimately I had to realize that the relationship was never going to work and I had to completely cut him out of my life. Easier said than done, especially in your case with kids. Good luck.
2006-06-14 20:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by pauliesgirl77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nobody said it was wrong to fall in love with a married man,if his married it doesn't mean he can't love somebody else or be loved.such things happen and besides married men have been found to be the most loving and caring but i hope you are not just taking advantage of the fact that he is doing alot for you.
2006-06-14 20:50:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this relation is ok for both of you then there is no quetion of right or wrong. From your explanation it is clear that you both are in need of each other and thats how these relations evolve.
Be stable and continue dont get possessive about it. Once you finish your studies and get financially secure then you will be having lot of options. Looking at present situation you need this relationship and he needs you. Thats it and dont think much about morality that will not help you in this situation.
2006-06-14 20:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by urbanbabu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did not you merely replied your own question? You reported you comprehend it truly is incorrect... if some thing is faulty why may you do it?! in case you extremely love him you'll stay remote from him and enable him address his subject matters, in case you do not then you are being selfish. As a guy i visit inform you that if a guy cheats on his spouse chance is he will do a similar (if not worse) to you. to boot it truly is more effective than probable he's merely using you. do not fool your self into questioning you're the exception to the rule of thumb.
2016-11-14 19:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he has obviously made a committment to his wife- he may just be a very charitable person. it's not wrong to fall in love with him but i think you need to take a step back and re examine why you feel this way about him.
i may not know all the details but it seems like youre in love with this guy because he has gone out of his way to take care of you and your kids. find out why hes doing this and then you can readjust yourself. chances are he may not feel the same way as pessimisstic as that sounds. and if he does then you have another issue to deal with...
2006-06-14 20:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by myxamotosis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your wife think about this situation where another man is paying for your kids school fees? Dude, if she's okay with it, then invite him to bed with you!
2006-06-14 20:34:59 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋