How can you spot a Child Molester?

Question

how can you tell if someone is a child molester..
i know the sterotypes like some naked guy in a trench coat sitting outside the jungle gym..
but I know that are some that pass as normal people who are just good with kids...
As a young father i would like to know some tips

Answer 1

unfortunately there is no way to really spot one, they could be just about anyone. best thing you can do to protect your child is, Keep a close eye on your kids, and EVERYONE, your child may be alone with. go with your gut feeling. Most importantly, Talk to your child about good touch & bad touch. and keep talking about it until they understand the dangers and that they can come to you if something does happen to them no matter who the person maybe.

Answer 2

First of all, I think it is so heartening that a young father is keen to protect his children and willing to learn how. I hope more fathers will follow your example.

A lot of valid points in many of the other answers, and yes, I would agree that you can find a lot of good information on the internet, there are lots of good websites that give parents great tips on protecting their children. Here are some links that may help:

The Internet Watch Foundation at www.iwf.org.uk has a page to report child porn and also carries information on what parents can do to keep their children safe.

The Inhope Foundation at www.inhope.org/en/problem/grooming.html will tell you about how abusers work on the child and family by "grooming" i.e. making the situation easier for abuse to occur. This is really useful information as being aware of these tactics can make a huge difference.

Some things I would like to add is that in most cases, the child molester is someone the child knows, someone the family trusts. And most research done so far has indicated that the majority of molesters are heterosexual males. If the molestation is within the family (i.e. incest) it is most commonly by an older cousin or an uncle.

Perhaps one can answer that question on how do you recognise an abuser by simply saying, it can be the last person you expect.

The good touch/bad touch teaching is very important, and telling kids to tell if someone does touch. Sadly, most parents assume that their kids will tell - and most kids do NOT tell.

Children are unlikely to tell because molesters can be very cunning with their grooming, or threatening .. so I think parents need to be vigilant. I read somewhere that it makes a difference if you talk about your awareness of child abuse signs etc. with the adults in your child's life .. let people know that you are informed and alert. This way if someone in your circle is secretly a molester, it would be a warning that this would not be a good place to try their tricks.

One final thought .. the most important word your child can learn is NO. When they get to the terrible two's, that's when they learn the incredible power of this word that allows them to assert themselves and make their own choices. Adults tend to squash this thinking that it's impolite or unright .. but it's a good word. Raise your children to know the difference between a spoilt, just plain "ornery" no, and a good no that comes from self-respect, self-esteem and healthy boundaries.

And have fun being a great father!

Answer 3

There is not any one sterotype that will help you know if someone is a child molester. I would suggest that you check on you state website and search for sex offender registration. Most states have them and have pictures that you can become familar with them. I would suggest that you also study the signs of sexual abuse. As a child, I can remember showing my mother one of the biggest signs of abuse, and she over looked it. I would also suggest that you raise your child to talk to you. Tell your child that no matter what they can talk to you, and whatever they tell you that you will believe them. And if someone ever hurts them that you will take care of it. Also knowledge is power, teach your children about good/bad touch. My daughter is 6 now and I have been teaching her this stuff since she was like three years old. It is never to early to teach them because believe me, the scars from sexual abuse last a lifetime.

Answer 4

There are no real sighs. They come from all professions and nobody can be trusted. That is the reason that you should be with your child as much as you can. Fathers, mothers, and relatives of all kinds have been found guilty of this issue. From the time my children could understand, (one and two years old) I taught them that if anyone touches them below the nick and above the knees, that they should tell everyone and anyone. They were not even allowed to be with their father alone because he did abusive things to my son. Just be careful. do research to find out the symptoms of sexually abused children. There must be web sites that meet your concerns. Be sure and check your local site that gives you information on all sexual abusers in your area. The list goes on and on.

Answer 5

Unfortunately child molesters usually look just like everyone else. But I can offer several tips that some people overlook.
One. Some one who is good with kids. I mean REALLY good with kids most child molesters make themselves the " Cool" person to hang out with at first. They are very accessable to youth. Be aware for someone that spends excessive amounts of time with your child or children.(also be aware that may molsters put themselves in positions to do just that i.e. coaches teachers etc etc) Just because they are the authority figure don't allow them to take over the relationship with your child.
And relationship is the key word here. We are not talking about the guy flashing your kid. These people go to great lengths to establish a "trusting" relationship integrate themselves into your life and your childs to prolong the abuse at low risk to themselves. Be aware at who is in your life. Advising your child to tell everyone or anyone may or may not work. Many pedophiles will threaten their lives or even your lives to keep the secret. Your child may deem that they are even protecting you. This is especially applicable to those in " authority" who can guilt their victims. Besides it really isnt the childs responsibility to assure their safety that is your job. They can just attempt to assist you untill they are old enough to start making safe decisions and understanding them.
Be aware of those bearing inappropriate gifts. A documented case stated that a man in the neighboorhood bought several bikes for children. Those are pretty expensive gifts to give out to several children " just because"
Trust your child if there is someone your child doesnt want to associate with assume there is a reason. The books are full of parents who " forced" their children to asssociate with the very people who were abusing them
Look for people who dont belong if your at a social setting (park) look for people who fit your profile. They are probably parents with children of their own. They are talking they are socializing.
If there is someone to whom you cannot assign a child or does not appear to be socializing with others there might be something wrong. See how close they are to the overall group. Child predators are known to hang out at "child events" such as soccer games and other functions. They are more likely to hang near the "fringe" of the group to avoid interaction and notice.
Do not buy into the fact that there are no warning signs and you cannot prevent this. This is a myth that too many people buy into. Don't ever feel guilty about protecting your child.

Answer 6

Most of the time you can't. Most child molesters are as normal looking as anyone you know. Your best shot is in knowing and educating your children. Teach them what good touches and bad touches are. Teach them that NO ONE should be touching them in those areas. Teach them that if someone does it's OKAY to tell, regardless what that person tells them. Teach them that mommy and daddy will never be mad at them (b/c children often view it as their fault). Watch for changes in their behavior, becoming more and more withdrawn, no longer wanting to go play, acting out, etc, etc. Know their bodies (meaning, pay attention to marks and where they are). Question how they got there if they do not look right to you. Good luck.

Answer 7

watch ans see if the same person starts hanging around where the children are at as well the state police have a site that has profiles on child molesters better safe than sorry now with all that is going on teachears going with school kids ?

Answer 8

you really shouldent trust anyone that much even the closes family can do such a thing. from expirience ill tell you this if you see someone thats family but mostly friend thats always at your house and playing with your kid be at gaurd.

Answer 9

Well I guess as a father, you would just get that special sence. Keep guard and never trust anyone fully who you are not to aquainted with.

Answer 10

you dont never really know it could be you lurking in the bushes