need help on bipolar?

Question

My dad is a bipolar and mom is a psichologist. They've been together fo 32 years, but after their daughters start to living separate lives, mom started to break down coz of dad's attitute and decided to move in with me. She wanted to leave my dad but not divorce, just living separate home.

She said the reason for her to survive all this years is because of me and my sister. Now that we are an adult she feels lonely and started to hate my dad specially during the low period.

I feel so sad for my dad, thinking of him alone and despair. I love them both but I also cannot go back to the house. I had my share of nightmare thank you very much!, I am happy with my hubby and kids, but it shock me to hear mom said such a word.

We tried medication but dad don't like the idea and stop the med, which made everything went even worse.

pls help me to decide, should I agree with mom moving in with me?

Answer 1

I can't speak of a parent being bipolar, I'm a parent of a teen with bipolar.Not to sound mean but its my feeling its not your responsibility to take care of your mom because she can no longer handle your dad.You have your own family to take care of and I feel they come first.
My feeling is, its one thing if your mom was severely ill and needed constant help due to a health issue but your mom not wanting to deal with your dads issues does not fall under that catagory.
Like I said this may sound mean but my parents always told me when I got married, my husband came first then my kids.My family comes first before anything else.

Answer 2

I think she should move out. Living with someone who is Bipolar is extremely difficult. It can really wear loved ones down. Maybe now that your Mom is out of the house he would be more receptive to the idea of taking meds again. Sometimes the Dr. has to adjust and readjust the meds until the patient feels comfortable with the meds. Make sure he is seeing a good Psychiatrist, Someone who has experience with Bipolar. Maybe you and your sister could talk to him about seeing a Psychiatrist. I am Bipolar and I know when I feel really well I think that I'm not Bipolar and I want to ditch the meds. Luckily I have friends and family that remind me of the "bad" times. Good Luck I know how difficult this situation must be for you.

Answer 3

Its hard to say no to mom. But her moving in with your family is going to put alot of strain on everyone. It may even harm the good friendship you 2 have.
Your mom may just need a break sort things through and let dad know she is serious about him getting help and staying on the meds.
Talk to your mom about a short term stay to help inspire dad to improve himself. He may just need a wake up call.
Set an amount of time, like a month, for all this to take place.
If your mom decides to leave dad permenantly then you need to explain to her that you will help her but she cannot live with you forever.
Trust me, your own marriage will be in jeperdy if she stays too long.

Answer 4

I have bipolar & I have to addmit Im not the easiest person to live with, though your mom finds it hard to handle she should know from her profession that leaving isnt going to make things better, Ive been left befor and it sent me into a manic episode, then we got back together and when the depression came around again I was left again, your dad probably feels as though no one understands and very alone after all its a sickness that he cant control, hes not saying to himself today Im going to be depressed its just somthing that happens, and your mother knows that so instead of using coping skills{which she has} she leaves making things worse !!!!!!!!

Answer 5

This is your decision, and noone elses. I can give you advice, and tell your father to take lexapro, which has a low incidence of side effects, and works wonders for my bi-polar. Offer him an alimadum, if he doesn't take the meds then he looses his wife, plain and simple. Like I said, this is your decision, and is so subjective it's enough to bring one to tears. Also, you mother moving in with out sounds a little like it could be a bad thing. If you get along with her fine I wouldn't refuse her, but certainly try to make father change his mind about medicine. The worse that could happen to him is that he'd loose his wife without them. And with them the worse that could happen is a bit of nausia or dry-mouth. It doesn't effect the liver or the kidneys too much to worry, his body is ressilient, and can repair any damage caused by Lexapro.

Answer 6

I worked with bipolar employees and the medications seemed to make them worse, and they changed them very often , and allowed them to just go off of meds or not keep things in check. but then they get used and families take the hardship of it all.

Answer 7

Agree with your Mom here. She gave you plenty and now Dad is the psychologist and getting his way in everything she needs to be safe.

Answer 8

maybe your mom should crush up his pills and put it in his food..would that be wrong?..or maybe she should explain to him if he doesnt take his meds..she's got to go..