Why can't I date the nice guys?

Question

Some of my guy friends are totally sweet, smart, fun, and not bad looking, and they seem to adore me, but I won't date them. Anybody have any idea why I can't seem to at least try and date these nice guys?

Answer 1

ATTRACTION. The guys you know as friends are friends because they didn't make you "feel" attraction for them. You may love them but it will never fill you with the excitement an unpredictable man does.
I bet if you called any of these guys and asked them to come over they would drop everything and be by your side. Try it!
Is that what you want? Just because a guy isn't "totally sweet" doesn't mean he is a mean hurtful jerk.
Women love a challenge as we men do.

Answer 2

This is a Dr. Phil kind of question- a lot of times a person's preference for datable materials is affected by self-esteem, and how past relationships have affected the person (beit familial or romantic relationships).

And since I don't know you at all- I can't answer your question.

I will say- that I have had several friends find themselves in similar situations... Here's just two examples.

One girl dated @$$holes for 8 years of her life- guys who cheated on her or would verbally abuse her. She had plenty of nice, sweet, respectful guy friends that she never considered dating. She always went after these guys that ignored her or put her down. Then, after an exceptionally messy break up, she swore off men entirely. Fortunately for her- she met a really nice guy who turned out to be a an excellent friend- whom she later married. She often asks me how she could have dated all those other awful guys- I tell her because she was stupid then... (A really good friend tells you when you're being stupid, in my opinion)- my guess is that she just wasn't ready to let herself be loved for a certain period of time, and when she finally made the decision to not accept any abuse anymore- she was able to open herself up to a healthy relationship.

Another friend, she only dates guys who are very wealthy, drive really nice cars, and are "tooooo cute!" Her relationships rarely last longer than six months. And when they end- she usually asks me why he didn't want to marry her, or why she can't find a nice one. I've known this girl for nearly 10 years- she's selfish and self-absorbed, and is attracted to men who are equally selfish & self-absorbed. Until she grows up and seeks more meaningful traits in a partner, she's not going to find the man she wants. I've told her this- she doesn't listen to me- but never hesitates to call me and tell me her man woes... I think she'll be stuck in stupid mode for a while longer. *sigh*

As for general all purpose advice for you:
Maybe you should take some time off of dating and relationships. Get a hobby if you don't have one (volunteer, start playing a sport, whatever)- or if you already have a hobby- throw yourself into it. Focus on school or work, focus on your hobby, spend time with family and friends.

Take care of yourself. Take some time to be with yourself- meditate, go on a long walk by yourself (someplace safe and pretty of course). Maybe some self reflection will help you understand yourself better, and by understanding yourself better, you'll maybe figure out what you really want from a guy.

While you're busy doing all this self-reflecting... You may accidentally trip over a nice guy whom you would like to date.

Answer 3

The nice guys want a girl who sounds and looks quiet. . She doesn't stand out in a crowd She has her own talents that require practice. She has been brought up a certain way and has character and self discipline. She can be rather plain . If you are her you will be searched out by a nice guy.. What a girl's father acts like and how he treated her has something to do with whom she feels comfortable dating.
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Answer 4

I don't really know you well enough to make that determination, but there could be lots of reasons to choose from. Maybe you have a low self esteem and don't feel like you "deseve" a nice guy. If that's the case, get over it. If these nice guys are your friends, they can easily turn into nice dates. The best and most lasting relationships are born from strong friendships.

Answer 5

u wont want to date a friend cuzz ur afriad of what might happen to ur friend ship if ya love thing does not go right and u might no0t find the right guy cuz u might not be lookin at the small things out there maybe tha one guy tha would help u with anything but u wont holler at him cuzz he may not be the most best looling but he ll be there for u maybe the person u looking for might be right under ur nose

Answer 6

well first you should ask yourself why wont you date them. the answer to that will open up more doors that are questions to be answered before you can date them. the other thing is did you get hurt by a guy previously in your life if you have then you will need to trust them to not hurt you. have fun finding a guy

Answer 7

You just like the bad boiz betta, n i dont blame ya! sometimes the nice guyz r to nice n u feel really awkward around em. Thats y i love my bad boi! He is funny, sexc and duznt treat me badly either, but he is a bad boi lol..........u need to decide what u want

Answer 8

Because we like the bad boys. And the nice ones scare us

Answer 9

Bevause they are ypu friends, and you are deep inside scared, that the friendship will be over, if you both break up. Believe Mr. Right is coming, you just have to wait, but the right person will come.

Answer 10

Because you watch too much T.V., and girls generally like bad boys at first then as they get older lean toward the nice dudes.