I already have a 8yr old girl and a 7 year old son from my previous marriage and now I've been with my new partner for almost 4 years and my kids get along with him. I am 4 years older than him but next year I will be 30 and I want a baby before I'm 30. I am affraid that now he treats my kids good and my kids get along with him too, but that after having one with me he might not treat them all the same. He already has 2 boys from another relationship too.
2006-06-14 18:12:59 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I think 4 kids is just about enough. You have yours, he has his, they all get along just fine. Why do you need another one? If you guys have lasted this long, that's great news, but I think that 4 kids demands a lot financially, especially when they get older.
Just let it be, you already have experienced what it's like to be a mother. Maybe my thinking is cruel, or selfish, but you're already an experienced parent, nothing new to this. If things don't work out (heaven forbid) why do you want to have kids by different guys? Don't you feel pride that your kids come from the same dad? even if you're not with that guy anymore, they're from the same dad.
I am more than happy for you, that you found a great guy, and that you guys formed a little unit as a family. I don't know your financial situation, and even though parents find a way to make ends meet, wouldn't you like giving your kids more? Or maybe put away money for their little cars, their college? You expect the government to pay for their school?
Just be glad that God gave you the opportunity to have a family, and a second chance. Why not make it legal? If you're happy the way you are, just let it be. I hope you're not offended, but hey, A little old fashioned sense never hurt anyone.
2006-06-14 18:28:56 · answer #1 · answered by grldragon101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not married to your new partner I think both of you are not ready, but if you are that's a different situation. If he [your partner] already treats your kids wonderfully and he has kids of his own he probably won't change too much after you both have a kid together. He might devote more attention to the baby than the kids though babies demand more attention anyway. If you think by his past actions that he is wishy-washy I definitely think you should talk about your concern with him. The kids I am worried about the most is the two boys from his previous relationship. They might be hurt from lack of attention or from the fact that their father has a new family. Your kids will be fine as far as your partner is concerned.
2006-06-14 18:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by orangemoose06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some questions should be answered by you first, like does HE want a baby with you and if so can you guys afford another child -- I assume he's paying child support for his children from another woman...bottom line is if he treats his children from another relationship good and treats your kids well that aren't even his -- then it appears that he will indeed CONTINUE to be a good father to all.
2006-06-14 19:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by sunshine25 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he already has children of his own and still treats your children well, why the worry that having a child together would change the way he enteracts with the existing children? If having a child together is something the two of you want, only you will know when the time is right.
2006-06-14 18:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by adagia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ridiculous. You have enough kids, if things are going well, do not add anything at this point. And by the way, children after 30 is not a bad thing.
2006-06-14 18:20:08 · answer #5 · answered by scrapenguin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are questioning having a baby with him because the way he may treat your other kids then you should talk to him about and if you still question it then i wouldn't take the chance
2006-06-14 18:17:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lyndsey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem except my boyfriend has no kids and i have 3 and he treats mine like their his own, but that is a decision you need to think about and if he truly loves you and those kids, he would not treat them any different, but i know its a scary thing
2006-06-14 18:19:11 · answer #7 · answered by babydoll53175 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok hun sorry i cant tell you what to do only you no if you want another baby
2006-06-15 03:31:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then I suggest you do not go for one!!
2006-06-14 18:16:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i think you should go for it
2006-06-14 19:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋