my only sibling(brother) is getting married...we are extremely close....however i totally oppose to this wedding! hes just too young,and she changes him....anyway here's the ?/ would u feel hurt if u werent asked to be in the wedding? mind u,her 3 brothers have a part in it/and what would u expect ur position to be...she has no sisters either....im the only sister!!! all the others in the wedding are her family....pls help?
2006-06-14 17:54:46 · 21 answers · asked by dawnita0322 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As hurt as you may feel, if you cause a big problem, she may cause him not to talk to you after they get married. I would just suggest that you be there because he is your brother. As time goes on you may find something that you like about you adn you two could become friends. OR with the going rate of divorce you have a good chance that they may end up getting a divorce. When he finds a second wife you will be thankful that you were not a part of this circus.
2006-06-14 18:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Someonesmommy 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your brother and let him know your concerns. Granted, if he wishes to get married, he can and you can't necessarily change that, but you can voice your opinions and eventually, if the marriage was not meant to be, he will figure that out and then will probably thank you for your insight. Also, if you are at the wedding and the minister asks those opposed to the marriage to speak now or forever hold your peace, you'll feel much better having had a talk with your brother - you'll have shared your feelings in a separate conversation. If the marriage works out and they are happy, then take a look at it and try to be accepting - you might learn something from your brother.
It would be nice if the bride-to-be asks you to be in the wedding, but she may not - remember it is her wedding and her choices. Hopefully, she will understand that if you are not asked to have some part in the wedding it could be awkward, especially since her brothers are participating. Let her make that judgement. If she doesn't ask you, then just attend, smile, and congratulate them - do it with class.
2006-06-15 03:06:37 · answer #2 · answered by Jules 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would feel the same way as you do. Although traditionally, the bride picks the bridesmaids and the groom picks the groomsmen, family members are accommodated in the wedding party. The couple should have made you a bridesmaid at least. Maybe you should talk to your brother about it but not in a demanding way that you demand to be part of the wedding party but just asking him why things happened the way they did. Then again, you did say that you were opposed to the wedding... so I can hardly blame the bride too.
2006-06-15 01:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by Trillian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds to me like you don't approve of the marriage in the first place. Why would you want to be part of something you are so opposed to anyway? Let your brother and his new wife live their lives and get on with yours. Love is not a competition between family members it is sacred between a husband and wife. You are merely a spectator at their wedding and I venture to say that the bride knows how you feel about her and that's why you are not "in the wedding." Unless you want to remain a mere spectator in your brother's life you better grow up and make amends. Someday, they may make you an Aunt and you will be glad that you behaved appropriately and made things right with your family. That includes your sister-in-law because she will be family too.
2006-06-15 01:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Cashmere621 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there has already been some friction between you and the bride and that may be why you are not in the wedding. I know it is hard, but step back and let him make his mistakes. It will just make things worse if you try to help or complicate this matter even though it isn't really fair that you have been hurt. He has made his choice. He can not be made to choose his wife over his family. His wife will win. Try to do what you can to make the best relationship with her that is possible for the sake of your brother who you love.
2006-06-15 01:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by iwanabethequeen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you care for your brother, but in order not to alienate your brother, you need to stand by him during this time in his life. If she is the devil in disguise, he will see this in the long run. If you try to come between them, she will no doubt turn him against you. As you are the only sister, can't you ask to be in the wedding party as well? I don't know how old your brother is, but I am assuming he is old enough not to need a parent to sign. How do your parents or guardians feel about this impending wedding? Bottom line is support him and be there to offer your shoulder if and when the marriage fails.
2006-06-15 01:24:30 · answer #6 · answered by wanninonni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dawnita---the reason you are not in the wedding is very simple (A) you oppose the wedding (B) you don't like her and think she has 'changed him" (which I take by the manner of the statement to mean not in a good way)------and here is one for you from someone who has made a living working weddings for years---it is universally accepted that the wedding is the Bride's Day--and in most circumstances she is allowed free reign and rule over the entire event with no questions---period-----So, dawnita--suck it up--you loose this one-------and she still gets the man--------NO ONE EVER SAID THAT LIFE IS FAIR--HUH ???
2006-06-15 01:13:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would be hurt. however, if you have voiced how much you disagree with the wedding then he is protecting his future wife and the wedding ceremony. You need to talk to him and tell him your concerns because you love him, however you will always be there for him and support whatever decision he makes. That you will not be a brat and that you will respect his marriage and always stand by him. You may disagree but it is his life. I have been there with both of my children and family. It is very hard but if you love him you will support him always. Stiff upper lip, and bight your tongue. It will work out.
2006-06-15 01:03:14 · answer #8 · answered by chamilton92071 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have told your brother that you oppose the marriage, he probably didn't want you making trouble in the wedding party. So, you might have brought this on yourself.
I would just back-off and let him do his thing. Enjoy the fact that you don't have to buy a hideous bride's maid dress:)
2006-06-15 01:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by Princess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this D., But thechnically it's her wedding. Trust me, it's not the guys wedding. Women control this from the very beginning. Accept that your bro is getting married; don't make a scene; don't make it uncomfortable. Sounds like your bro. is old enough to make his own decisions. If he's old enough to do that, he's old enough to take a possible fall. Be there, smile, and pray for your bro. Don't say anything unless asked.
2006-06-15 00:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by Batmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋