my mother is really getting on my nerves and it's hard cuz I'm going through my teen years what should i do?

Question

ok she(my mother) really is just really making really angry. I can barely have a normal conversation with her without getting into an argument which is always her critising my appearence and telling me something relating to how i 'm not like other girls and need to lose weight which i know but it just really gets to me when she doesnt approve of me and starts critising. why can't she just accept me the way i am and not want to change me? wut should i do?

Answer 1

On each and every occasion, you must respond. " I am so sorry to have disappointed you." and walk away. Nothing more, nothing less.

Answer 2

As a Mom, I think you should consider that she most likely wants what's best for you. I can tell you that I dream of what my daughter's life can be like at your age, what I hope it will be. That doesn't mean that your idea of how things should be is any worse, or any better, but it's most likely different. It is sometimes very difficult to let go of how you think things should be and accept that your child is growing up and away from you.

Also with the weight stuff, did your mom have a weight problem growing up? I did, and I live in terror that my daughter will, too. I don't want her to have to go through some of the things that I did.

Make a list of things she does or says that upset you. Then for each of those items, add things you wish she'd say or do instead. The best way for both of you to sort through this is to talk it out together. You're growing up, it's time for both of you to get to know each other as individuals.

Answer 3

That makes me sad. My best friend went through the exact same thing. Her mom always got on her weight and her appearance and how she "wasnt like other girls her age". You should really talk to your mom about how it hurts your feelings that she won't accept you for who you are and want to be. If you want to loose weight or change your image or your opinions it should be for yourself not because your Mom wants you to. Your teens years are the worst and if you feel comfortable the way you are, you are in a good position, and don't let anyone, not even your Mom make you feel uncomfortable especially when it comes to weight and being yourself issues. She is probably just as confused as you are in your teenage years and dealing with different things to come, but the least she needs to worry about is your weight and who you are as a person!!

Answer 4

Welcome...you've got mail!
What you are going through everyone I'm sure will tell you they went through. It's a parent protective instinct. You will do things the way you want anyhow but parents must set up pitfalls and blockade which you will never understand now but you will appreciate later. If they don't challenge you, motivate you, encourage you, and umbrella you, one day when you are all screwed up you will wish they had and wonder why they hadn't. Give your mom a big hug. It will let her know that you understand what she's trying to do. It will let her know that you know she is strong and being a good mother. It will let her know that you want a bright future for yourself as well. Good Luck.

I hope this answer just changed a life. Peace.

Answer 5

I would suggest a family counselor. I know thats something that a teen never wants to hear but its the truth. Your mom is criticizing you over something that likely happened to her. She is scared for you, and she thinks that by telling you exactly how to be she will save you from these troubles. This is commonly called the Chain Of Pain. Your mom is sad and not very confident in herself, especially when she was a teen like you. She was proberably criticized through her teen years by her parents, and they were criticized by their parents and so on. It is in a strange way up to you to break this chain of pain. Make your mom a part of your life. She may be upsetting at times, but mabye you both can help one another. Do something that improves what your not feeling good about together.

Again, i recommend a family counselor. You may be surprised that the counselor will agree with you in some cases. Be willing to compromise too. sometimes its worth it to let a few things slide, especially as you both heal.

Good luck,
Silence

Answer 6

Uhh thank god im not alone im also a teen and im going through the same things basically. But i realized that thats just how mothers that really care about you are. They may seem so annoyying and you feel like if you could just yell at her one time she would stay out of your face. The truth is she is trying to prevent things that happened to her from happening to you. Remember she may really love you and times like that moms get so over protective and run your life. Its natural. It happens all the time. Just make sure your voice is heard, dont be disrespectful about it just let her know how she makes you feel. Make it clear to her that you either love me or hate me and plz dont try to change me. Stand your grounds

Answer 7

Tell her how you feel now 'cuz one day you might not be able to.
Teen years are hard, Moms have it tough too. When your child hits the teens, not all Moms know how to let go or even begin to let go. Sometimes, they feel an aching need that you don't need them anymore. So remember its not easy for either of us BUT it will get better if you share, in a calm manner, how you feel, how she makes you feel and how you can make your relationship better.
Good Luck!

Answer 8

You need to realize that she does understand you(teenage stuff has nothing to do with the times). You may not think that now, but you will later on in life. Remember she is your mother and you live in her house, not yours. She pays the rent/mortgage. She has reasons for criticizing you. I think you are just being rebellious because you are under peer pressure. Just be you and only you! Your true friends will appreciate you more that way.

Answer 9

you two should go have a talk with a psychologist. My daughter and I did that. Your mother can get some good clues and so can you.

She should not criticize your appearance and certainly NOT talk to you about your weight! I know that from experience.

Your mother I am sure loves you and cares about you.

My first suggestion is the best to start with!

Answer 10

start looking at things from her point of view and sit down and calmly ask her to please try and look at things from your point of view. If need be make a list together with pros and cons and see wher that leads the two of you. Then when all else failes ask her what she was like at your age and find some points that the two of you can connect on. Keep the lines of communication open at all costs even if it means making some sacrifices long the way.
We all do this in life with everything we do.

Answer 11

I know exactly what you are talking about. But, the fact is if you are comfortable with the way you are then tell her that. When people put you down always prove them wrong by doing the opposite of what they think you are going to do. If they think you are going to fail then succeed. Always, look forward never back. Be who you are. Not what someone wants you to be.