why does a woman spend 10 years changing a man's habits and complain that he isn't the same man she married?

Question

i read this in a magazine today, a statement they credited to barbara striesand

Answer 1

Because no one knows today what they will want tomorrow. . .

Answer 2

Women need a reason or safety if there work in changing a man does not turn out to be what they want. All women that I know do the same thing and why. My best response to that very issue was to my first ex wife when she said, "Your not the man I married" and I replied, "Yeah, I am the same man, I just handle things the way you taught me."

Answer 3

this statement isnt true at least not entirely...if a guy has 2 change all of his habits 4 his wife then i highly doubt that relationship is gonna last 10 years most complaints about the guy changin by their wife is about sumthin other then his habits

Answer 4

I agree with one little saying that I've read somewhere a long time ago, and I believe it's a true one... "The only time a Woman succeeds in changing a Man is when he's a baby." After that, I guess, is just to make sure he won't go nuts or do something that he didn't mean to do :)

As much as I know... A man is one creature that doesn't take "changing" lightly (not like women, at least). His thinking might be that a woman thinks that he's "broken" and trys to fix him (in his logic, "Don't fix it, unless it's broken). A woman can change a man but only to a certain degree as to make him love and care for her with all of his heart, and then a man starts to think that showing his feelings is a sign of weakness which starts to result in him distancing himself from her. A man's habits and behavior is something that he has lived with all of his life and for a woman to say that this-or-that is wrong and it has to be done a certain way, surely results in the man's defensive reaction as if thinking what he has is not enough for her... And, after this, all women wonder why do they have disagreements with their men? The answer is, "Try not to make him feel inadequate as if he's a baby who doesn't know what he's doing." It is true, that everyone looses their heads and the sense of direction when they're in love, but it doesn't mean that you have to forget the real person who's standing before you.

In marriage, it's the same way, but only on the more advanced level... When a man is doing something around the house no matter if it's wrong or right in the wife's mind, and even if she could've done it herself, compliment him on doing such a wonderful job. He'll be happy and proud of himself for making her happy and he'll look forward to doing something nice for her again. If he hasn't taken out the garbage (why are there so many fights about this, I'll never know), don't blame or even scolld him like a baby, IT IS NOT worth it. To heck with the garbage (who cares about it that much?), just love him for being the wonderful person that he is and for doing something that he was working on all day long (even if it's fixing your car). Even though men are strong enough to handle fights and are brave enough to jump into the line of fire to defend anyone they care for, they're not that strong emotionally and mentally to handle cricitizm and anger towards them (and who would be?). Unlike women, they tend to shut down a lot faster and for longer periods of time than anyone thinks.

I guess, what I'm trying to say with all of this is: Just be proud of him for achieving and doing what he does best, and that being the wonderful and amaizing man that you met on the first day. Whatever he does, no matter how small, he does it for you and he wants your approval more than anyone else. He wants to see you being happy with him, and seeing your smile is (at times) the biggest reward he can possibly have for his hard work... I don't know why women try to change their men and then complain about them being the same... I know one thing for sure, it's not very easy for a man to change and he has to weight rights / wrongs / benefits / problems (about the changing) in his mind everytime he does something or sees you. For women, it's naturally easy to do so, because it's in our DNA to be adaptive to any changes around us. However, for men, it might take time and at times more than 10 years (depending on the cituation).

Answer 5

Some women are like that, when that happens I think it means she should have married someone else instead of trying to change you...Best Wishes!!

Answer 6

Well what the hell did ya expect? Women aren't supposed to know what they want unless men tell em and then ya get told to shaddup. Whatever ...

Answer 7

Coz your expections of others go on increasing by the day.

Answer 8

That means she loves her husband so much for who he is, but then if he try to change himself, it will start to bore her.

Answer 9

Because honey all of us women are crazy! Don't ever change yourself!

Answer 10

meanwhile, Babs is on husband #4 or something?
yea, she's quite the expert...

Answer 11

Ha ha ha! Thats a doozy!