I have been married for four years to an alcoholic/abusive husband. One year ago he got deported to Mexico.My kids and I stayed here with my parents.
I have a friend we'll call him Tom. Whenever Tom sees me he asks how me and my kids are doing. He knows that my husband was deported and two months ago he said that if I am ever bored to call him. We went to a park with my kids and talked the whole day! After that day I decided that I wanted to divorce my husband. I didn't want to beat for the rest of my life!
I told my husband that it was over unless he could change. He says that he has changed but refuses to go to AA or Anger Management. All he wants is one more chance when he can legally enter America again.
I tolded Tom and he was said and explained how he loves me and said that he would like to wait for me if my husband doesn't change.
Last week I told Tom that I don't want to give my husband a second chance. He seemed happy then.
But now he is acting strange. Why?
2006-06-14 16:52:31 · 9 answers · asked by yadirajosie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
maybe tom wants you to try and work it out before you just drop your current relationship. i would like to think you would at least try with me before you dropped me for the first guy who showed interest in you.
was your wedding about wearing a white dress and getting presents? was it about a solemn commitment to stay with that special one person for the rest of your lives?
i would finish my first relationship before starting a second one.
2006-06-15 14:14:48 · answer #1 · answered by thom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Consider this. If your husband will not consider AA or AM then it is clear he does not think he has a problem and "will not change". To stay with him only means you will be hurt again and again.
And, count on this, if he ever hears of Tom you are in deep trouble. Nothing will make him madder that believing you are cheating on him.
Get a divorce now! As for Tom make sure of what you true feelings are there. Do not get involved with him only because he has helped you so much. Not a good reason for marriage. Give him a lot of time. Find out what he is really like.
Many women who have been attracted to abusive men will find the next one will be the same. Tome may not be and I hope not. But just be sure.
2006-06-14 17:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably worried that you are going to stay with your husband. Which if I were you, I wouldnt give him a second chance! Seems like you've given him plenty of chances. He's probably just wanting some reassurance from you about your relationship with him and if it's for the long run or if he's just filling the time?
2006-06-14 17:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by feisty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is acting strange because he got what he wanted unexpectedly, and now he is unsure whether he really wants it. If I were you I would not jump into a relationship before you are divorced. Get divorced if that's what you truly want, give yourself some time...at least 6 months after your divorce before you pursue any more relationship...then think about what it is that you truly want and go from there.
and by the way....most men think about sex most of the time...they just have more control over their urges once they pass 30 years old.
2006-06-14 17:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Wonderful 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he said what you wanted to hear and not really expected you to leave your husband.. as for second chances... if your husband really wanted a second chance he would go through AA and get help to prove to you he really loves you and has changed.. If Tom isascting that weird... Talk to him.. about why he is acting that way and what he wants... it cant hurt...
2006-06-14 16:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by shandafightsfire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him.
As for your husband, don't give him another chance. If he doesn't want to take the steps to get better then he's not going to change.
2006-06-14 16:58:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just some what unsure, that he will loose you, so reassure him you will not leave him also.
2006-06-14 16:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it's occured to him that he's a homewrecker.
2006-06-14 16:58:03 · answer #8 · answered by icu812 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants your money
2006-06-18 16:36:46 · answer #9 · answered by Dark Angel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋