Any suggestions on how to get a stubborn 3 yr old interrested in potty training?

Question

He started getting interrested when he was 2 but since his baby sister was born (she's now 1 yr) he won't have anything to do w/ the toilet. We've tried videos, potty chair, rewards (including candy)... I would love to enroll him in the 3 yr old pre-school program this fall but he has to be potty trained.

Answer 1

It is very common for a child to regress when a new sibling arrives. Rewards will not work. They only come to be expected even when potty trained.

First of all, let it go for awhile. It is one thing in his life that he can control. If you insist, he will resist.

Get him a step stool for the "adult" toilet. Children like to use things that are real. Get him some big boy underwear. Put him in clothing that he can easily get on and off by himself. When you see him doing the "potty dance" say "It looks like you need to use the bathroom." Give it no more attention then that. If he soils his pants hold him completely responsible for the clean up. Say to him "It looks like you need to change." Don't help him no matter how long it takes. He can rinse out the wet clothing, put it in the laundry, dry off, put on clean clothing. He will soon learn that using the bathroom is much easier.

You can also go and observe the preschool program with him. Get him excited about starting school. Tell him "When you can use the bathroom everytime then you can come to this school." If he's excited about starting school, he will be excited about using the bathroom. Good luck!

Answer 2

He is a smart kid, and he knows that the baby wears diapers, and he feels as though he is no longer the baby. Well, that's just not true! You can't allow him to feel as though his sister replaced him, or you are going to have a hard time on your hands for the next two decades and prehaps longer.

Don't focus on potty training him. Focus on giving him a whole new role in the family as the older brother. Give him *special* things to do and make the things noticably different from things the baby does or has. Give him big brother missions or assignments that are fun. Tell him that only HE can do these things, not the baby. Make it clear to him everyday that there are things that only HE can do, not the baby. There are rewards that only HE can reap, and not the baby. Give him special time with him, without the baby and make it clear to him that you intentionally are spending this time with HIM and not the baby. Right now, he is feeling displaced, and he should.

I have an 11-month old son, and I feel guilty as it is now because sometimes I feel like my work interferes with the amount of attention that he needs, and I stay home. I can't imagine how tired and spent you must be trying to divide your attention amongst two children at high need ages. God bless you. Just remember, it is probably doubly hard for your 3-year old because you had 9 months to prepare for this, he had no clue that he was about to switch roles without his permission.:-) If he is not potty trained by fall naturally, then he is not ready for the program you want him to be in.

Don't push him into school if he isn't ready. The school will be quick to diagnose him with ADD or ADHD because he is not ready, and for the next 18 years you will be dealing with medicines, labels, and a whole host of other problems. Don't rush him. He already feels as though he is being forced into being a *big kid* before his time because he is no longer the baby.

Make him feel extremely special and let him get comfortable in his role as older brother. THEN..after he understands that there are many special things around the house that he can do that sister can't, and many special rewards that he can reap that she can't, THEN add the potty as being another one of those special things that he can do that she can't. He may just take the bait, but I would give him other special task and rewards over the course of months first, before trying to push the potty issue again.

Answer 3

Going through the same situation. We are training our almost 3 year old son and we have an almost 1 year old daughter.

She doesn't factor in that much but this seems to work...

1) Ditch training pants (except for naps and sleep). Wet underwear doesn't feel good. Training pants give him no motivation (the "feels wet" claim is bogus)

2) Let him pee standing up. We noticed our son doesn't like to pee sitting down and standing up isn't as big as a mess a feared. You need to help him aim at first, though. After a week or so, we would pee when we ask him to and now he even prompts us (1 month later).

3) For poop, you basically have to plant him on the seat several times a day. We award him w/lollipops (the only time he ever gets candy). Big issue is to punish or not to punish for not telling us he needed to poop (or telling us he doesn't have to but he does). Experts say don't do it but it seemed to be the only thing that worked for pooping (time outs, taking away privileges, showing our displeasure). After a while, he learned that poop in the potty isn't a bad thing. He hasn't had an accident in 6 days.

Answer 4

My son was about three as well. It took a couple of things.
l. I started letting him go diaperless around the house, bare bottomed that is. the feel of the air and no diaper, he started to be able to tell when his body was needing a release.
He got really interested when he figured out that he could pee behind a tree or some other item of interest.
(all summer anytime I went someplace he didn't have to pee unless there was a tree nearby).

2, I took him to Kmart and showed him all the great underwear with super heros on them. I told him that when he went one week with no accidents, i'd bring him back and let him pick out his own.

He was totally trained within two weeks. I got lucky and he didn't even wet the bed once he was trained. I think since that time he might have had a total of five accidents over the years.

Answer 5

I'm not saying that this is your problem. However, you did mention that the birth of your daughter was a significant event in his potty training. With that in mind I add the following...
Children at that age who experience a tramatic event -- that is tramatic to them, not necessarily to you -- such as a divorce or even the birth of a sibling, feel out of control. In fact they can control very little about their circumstances. This may lead to frustration, perhaps tantrums, and other behavioral issues. The one thing they can control is their own bodily functions...and they will in fact do so, or not do so, as an expression of their frustration coming out as rebellion.
Perhaps he is not receiving the attention he used to, now that a sister is in the picture. He needs to understand that that will henceforth be the norm, but that you still love him and care for him. Bear in mind -- contrary to what busy adults would like to believe -- quality time means little to children. Taking the time to be with your children -- just being with them -- is priceless to them, and will be with them for the rest of their lives. You can never pay anyone enough money to love your child like you can. I think when you address this issue first, the potty training will follow.
Incidentally, whether old or young, positive reinforcement for males works far more effectively than negative reinforcement, especially in this case where frustration and rebellion may already be at work.
I wish you the best.

Answer 6

if he is going to a place and soiling his diaper you can try getting a chair for his sister and "train" them together. but it all boils down to when his body is ready. until he can tell you he has to go potty and eagerly goes to the potty chair your just having power struggles and he's winning by not using the potty. try backing off for awile and don't rush him. don't even try. some times boys take longer . mine wasn't ready until he was 4 and enrolled in a preschool that didn't mind training the kids. when his peers went to the potty, he did too. also try praiseing him with words when he is dry and ignore the times he is wet or soiled. soon he will want your words of praise more and more.

Answer 7

I am getting ready to potty train my 2.5 year old, and i have tried a few things. Does your boy like stories? I bought a few pooty traing books at the book store. They were stories. My Son loves it. One of the books is called Wheres the Poop? He is always asking me to read it. I also set up a potty months ago, and he mocks me when i go to the bathroom. I am slowly slowly, getting him excited and interested....he is so pumped. Now he tells me whenever he soils his diaper. So i think we are ready. get him excited. Make it fun. take some time..and get him psyced about it. Then it wont be a new thing to him. Some kids hate change. Make him want to learn, then he may loosen up, and just go to it!

Answer 8

When my son would go to the bathroom all day would put a star on a chart at the end of the week if he had all days filled we took him to do something special only kids without diapers could do or so we told him. It took about a month and a half but it finally worked

Answer 9

I was told when my son was younger by his pediatrician. He said to put cherrios in the water in the toilet and tell him to aim. Make it sort of a game. I think its sort of strange. But hey if it works than do it.

Otherwise, let your child do it on his own. He'll eventually get interested.

One more thing, I had to take my son to the store with me so he could pick out the underwear he wanted to wear, at the time it was Thomas the Train, now its Spiderman. Let him pick, he'll have fun.

Answer 10

does he have that Potty Training Elmo? I've heard that it's a good starter toy to get toddlers interested in going to the potty.